(Tony Jaa attempts to call a “timeout” in the honeymoon suite)

I’m not really sure that Tony Jaa understands how to make love to a guy twice his girth size. In this recent clip from Ong Bak 2 you’ll get to watch Jaa attempting coitus on the Celtics’ point guard. I don’t mean to hate, but Tony’s sex game is worse than my uncle Eddie’s. See, Eddie does this thing where he doesn’t wait for your permission before he tries something new, he just kind of…you know…um… anyway, enjoy the clip:

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Between sizzle reels, featurettes, and various trailer cuts, I know I’ve already posted a lot of Ong Bak 2 stuff, but if you don’t still drop everything at the chance to see Tony Jaa knee people in the face and backflip off elephant tusks, I’m not sure we can be friends.  The film, supposedly sporting a tighter recut, will be premiering on On Demand September 25th and will get a limited theatrical run starting October 23rd.

Midway through filming, it was reported that Jaa, who handled directing duties for the first time in his career, had walked off the set in order to meditate in the jungle.  When he refused to come back and finish the film, the financial backers kidnapped his favorite elephant, Xing-Xing, whom Jaa had been given the sacred duty to protect by the shaman of his village.  “Now, let this rogue come to us,” said the studio head, stroking his pet iguana.  And that’s when Tony Jaa rode in on a cheetah and kicked everyone in the face.  His foes vanquished, Jaa turned to Xing-Xing and the cheetah.  “Now, friends, let us rejoice,” Jaa said, smiling, and they danced to the music of their ancestors.*

^{*Second half of story recreated from imagination}

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Sure, he's smaller than some of the ladyboys I've dated, but Tony Jaa kicks some major ass.  This is four straight minutes of UNEDITED ass kicking.  I can't even have sex for that long.