The first trailer for Gran Torino has hit the web, and in it, Clint Eastwood looks and sounds as if he’s getting an oatmeal enema the whole time. And hey, remember when I made a “get off my lawn” joke about the poster? Little did I know he’d actually deliver that line in the trailer. So check it out. Personally, I’d like to see Eastwood and Stallone go head to head in a Senior Division Asian Killin’ Contest.
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Ping Pong Playa opens September 5th and comes from director Jessica Yu, who once won an Oscar for a documentary about a poet in an iron lung (a great story to tell at parties). The buzz is already strong with this one, probably because the cast is all Asian, and sheltered PC idiots are always surprised and happy to learn minorities can do stuff.
As you can see from this clip, the main character is Christopher Wang (pronounced Wong), played by the movie’s co-writer Jimmy Tsai, who prefers to be called C-Dub and appears to be your typical Asian wigger. It’s the kind of character that might seem fresh and new to your average movie critic, but anyone who’s ever been to an amateur night at a comedy club more than once has probably seen every ethnic variation on the wigger joke. "My cousin Sanjay is from New Delhi and works in tech support, but he listens to Snoop Dogg, so he’ll come up to you and be all like ‘Durka durka, my nigga…’"
It wasn’t funny when Steve Martin acted black, it wasn’t funny when Jamie Kennedy acted black, and it’s probably not gonna be funny with this Chinese guy acts black. Robert Downey Jr. acting like an Asian guy acting black, however, would be freakin gold.
“A set of twins — one a hard-working student and the other a drifter — team up with a dropout to unlock the secrets of the universe and to build one of their own,”
Thanks to Robo for the tip.
This trailer isn’t in English, but I think you’ll still get a pretty good idea of what it’s about. Plus it’s called Kung Fu Dunk, which pretty much says it all.
It’s pretty much like Air Bud, but with Chinese people and wire fighting. I never thought I’d type that sentence, but I’m glad I did. I have a boner. A KUNG FU BONER!
Thanks to voluptuous Kansan Nominus for the tip (just for a minute, just to see if it felt good).
According to Variety, Warner Bros Japan will produce the strangely punctuated film, Sushi King! Goes to New York, based on a Japanese television show.
Yukihiko Tsutsumi ("Memories of Tomorrow") helms and Koichi Domoto of boy band Kinki Kids [stars of the above video] stars as a genius sushi chef who goes to New York to perfect his skills and face off against the local competition…Dialogue will be half Japanese and half English.
Pretty much any time you hear the phrase "Japanese boy band" you know you’re dealing with blog gold. It would seem that this is like the Japanese version of You Got Served, starring the Japanese version of Justin Timberlake. All 26 of Kinki Kids’ singles have debuted at number one, and they just wouldn’t be Japanese if their videos didn’t make me feel like I’m on mushrooms. Just once I want to sit in on the pitch meeting for one of these things. "First you sit in tree. Then squirrel girls come. Mushroom cry, then butterfly."
You’ve gotta wonder what Japanese bedtime stories are like. "Sleep tight, don’t let the evil octopus strangle you in your dreams." "You know what happens to little children who don’t eat their vegetable, right? Their guardian spirit gets beheaded by robots."
