"Is my career in there?"

Paul Verhoeven’s 1997 classic, Starship Troopers, is either a brilliant satire of a terrible movie or a brilliantly terrible movie, depending on whom you ask. And while fans seemingly would have already gotten their fill of giant bugs and Jumpball from two direct-to-DVD sequels, Sony, along with Fast/Furious producer Neil Moritz, have decided it’s high time for a reboot of the franchise (that’s industry talk for a remake of the original that ignores the stories of the sequels). In related news, Casper Van Dien’s offer to suck your dick for a corndog still stands. “Please,” he said, “I’m so hungry…”

Moritz has assigned the script to screenwriters Ashley Edward Miller and Zack Stentz, who, among other things, wrote Thor and X-Men: First Class, as well as many episodes of the TV shows Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles and Fringe. Of course, they also wrote Agent Cody Banks. [Vulture]

How dare you! Anyone with half a brain knows that Agent Cody Banks was actually a scathing critique of the proto-fascist tendencies of the cloak and dagger milieu, NOT TO MENTION a frolicsome send up of the post-corporate, Malcolm in the Middle middle class. In any case, I think the choice for a new Johnny Rico is obvious: Kellen Lutz. Kellen Lutz is the Casper Van Dien of the post-post-9/11 era.

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(Damn Nation —> Damn Yankees. Don’t tell me you don’t see the connection.)

We’ve had 1000 vampire projects, 1000 post-apocalypse projects, and even a vampire post-apocalypse project.  But Hollywood is like BASF, in that they don’t make a lot of the products you buy, they make a lot of the products you buy sh-ttier and more derivative.

Ashley Edward Miller and Zack Stentz, who wrote “Thor” for Marvel, have come aboard to pen “Damn Nation,” a futuristic vampire project lurking at Paramount, based on a comic by Andrew Cosby and Jason Alexander (not the “Seinfeld” actor).

Set in a U.S. evacuated after an attack from “inhuman nocturnal predators,” the comic tells the tale of the survivors after the government has been forced to relocate to London while scientists search for a solution. [THR]

Sweet, well that sounds pretty sh-tty.  28 Doomsdays of Night Later, they could call it.  You know who I bet would like this?  This guy:

[His name's Chris Noel, btw.  I bet he parties with Weston Coppola Cage. Puffy paint parties.]