Armie Hammer says he talked to some Indians and Johnny Depp’s bird hat is totally cool

Written by Vince Mancini / 04.22.13

It’s always tricky casting a white actor to play a famous minority, so when Johnny Depp strapped a bird to his head to play Tonto in The Lone Ranger, those involved had to know they were going to take some heat for it (unless they’re complete idiots, and having seen Jerry Bruckheimer’s previous movies, the jury’s still out). I don’t think it’s always wrong for a white actor to play a non-white role, but if you’re an American Indian actor or an actor from another historically marginalized group, I can understand why you’d be pissed about one of the precious few roles specifically tailored to you going to a white dude. (Though for what it’s worth, Depp does describe his great grandmother as “quite a bit of a Native American.”). Meanwhile, Depp’s Lone Ranger co-star Armie Hammer, possibly the whitest man alive, says it wasn’t an issue at all, because the American Indians they talked to during filming (some of them paid consultants, presumably) all thought his kemosabe’s kabuki was hunky-dory. Hakuna matata and all that shit.

The actor turned up in Las Vegas with Depp last Wednesday to unveil 20 minutes of new footage from the film to movie theater owners at CinemaCon. Before being honored as the Male Star of Tomorrow at the conference a day later, Hammer defended his film’s depiction of Tonto, saying that the cast worked with many Native Americans on the project.
“They were nothing but excited about it. They loved it — they’re thrilled,” the actor said in an interview. “It’s so funny, because every Native American we talked to was like, ‘This is awesome! I’m so excited.’ And every white person we talked to was like, ‘How dare you cast a non-Native American?’ It’s like, the white people are the one who have the problem, but the Indians — the Native Americans — are like, ‘This is great. We love it.’” [LATimes]

Sure they did, but then again, the ones he talked to were probably hanging around craft services all day, and you know how those people get around the fire water (*pantomimes “glug-glug”*). What? What’d I say? I kid, I kid. On a serious note, Armie Hammer has to walk a delicate line defending the dubious decisions of people cutting him a huge paycheck, and as such it’s all but impossible for him not to say the occasional kinda dumb thing. I don’t have a problem with Johnny Depp playing an American Indian (not that it’s my place to…), but I do think it’s hilarious to watch them try to spin Johnny Depp starring in a Jerry Bruckheimer movie as some kind of tribute to the proud American Indian peoples. That’s basically like McDonalds calling their breakfast burritos a show of solidarity with the Latino community.

See also: Johnny Depp explains the origin of his bird hat.

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The New ‘Lone Ranger’ Trailer Looks Pretty Familiar, Too

Written by Ashley Burns / 04.18.13

“HOW… do I get up from here? Seriously, help.”

Another day, another summer blockbuster trailer, friends. It’s almost as if it’s about time to unleash one of my award-winning Summer Movie Guides on us. What? A piece of paper with my dog’s paw print stamped on it is an award. You’re just jealous you don’t have one.

Anyway, in keeping with today’s theme of this year’s big action films that look awfully familiar, the newest trailer for The Lone Ranger has arrived, and it features Johnny Depp at his most face-painted while Armie Hammer continues his transition into a leading man whose name I refuse to believe is real.

I couldn’t help but think of The Legend of Zorro and Wild Wild West while watching this trailer, between the unlikely goofball team of heroes, fancy gadgets and all the explosions. But neither of those movies had a white guy pretending to be a Native American by wearing a bird on his head, so what the heck do I know?

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New Lone Ranger trailer actually has some lone ranger in it

Written by Vince Mancini / 12.11.12

You’re not in Connecticut anymore, kemosabro

The newest trailer for Jerry Bruckheimer’s $250 million-plus Lone Ranger movie is now online (embedded below), and while the first trailer focused almost solely on Johnny Depp’s bird-hat Tonto, the new one gives us much more of Lone Ranger Armie Hammer, the only actor WASPy enough to make Johnny Depp look ethnic by comparison. He wakes up on a giant platform atop a mountain in the desert, because Indians had lots of time for cinematic crap like that, and there he meets Tonto, who knows the Lone Ranger will be a great warrior because the Lone Ranger’s horse told him so. Two key points to remember in this one: Tonto can talk to horses, and Silver is a psychic horse. Tonto and LR decide to “ride for justice” and Armie puts on a mask, and Helena Bonham Carter shows up and she doesn’t even have her obnoxious rat’s nest hair for once, and then there’s some shooting and trailer music. But riddle me this, kemoslobber, why can’t Johnny Depp decide whether to use definite articles? Either say “the” or don’t, man, no one wants to see half a stereotype.

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First trailer for The Lone Ranger, aka Pirates of the Wild West

Written by Vince Mancini / 10.03.12

"I came here to kick ass and make bird hats, and I'm all out of birds."

Word up, kemosuaves. Everyone’s favorite WASP Armie Hammer (the perfect choice for making Johnny Depp seem ethnic) was on Leno last night where he premiered the first trailer for The Lone Ranger, the over-budget, $250-million-plus train western from Gore Verbinski and Jerry Bruckheimer. This is the part of every Jerry Bruckheimer marketing campaign (again, I point out that Bruckheimer hasn’t made a good movie since his partner Don Simpson died) where he tricks me with his flashy visuals and period garb into almost wanting to see his movie. DAMN YOU, BRUCKHEIMER! YOU KNOW GUNS AND TOP HATS ARE MY WEAKNESS! But I know I’ll show up hoping for a straight period piece like Boardwalk Empire and I’ll get Kangaroo Jack with different costumes like always. Remember Kangaroo Jack? It’s about a CGI kangaroo that raps.

Johnny Depp’s Tonto has the potential to be incredibly racist, like an American Indian Al Jolson in crowface, but sadly, I’m not seeing it just yet. Just as a side note, “Tonto” means dummy or fool in Spanish, which sort of makes me wish for a version of the Lone Ranger where his sidekick was a little Mexican kid with Down’s Syndrome. We could get Crispin Glover to direct. Discuss.

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“But kemosabe, your hair is a bird.”

Written by Vince Mancini / 10.01.12

With Jerry Bruckheimer producing, The Lone Ranger is all but guaranteed to be sh*tty, since pretty much all of Jerry Bruckheimer’s movies since Don Simpson died are sh*tty (Prince of Persia, anyone?), but I admit they’ve hit on a sure-fire formula for box office gold here: Johnny Depp in a ridiculous costume making silly faces. And Armie The WASPiest WASP Hammer is his perfect foil. After on-set deaths, set-destroying wind storms, and a budget ballooning to more than $250 million, everyone better love it. Luckily for them, as inevitable as death and taxes is the truism, “foreigners love Johnny Depp.”

As you’ll see, Depp has once again emerged from the costume department looking his usual eccentric self, but don’t expect another reprise of his famous “Pirates Of The Caribbean” character. ”I’m a long way from Jack Sparrow,” Depp says, while Verbinski adds that Tonto “is an odd-shaman, an outcast from his own tribe, who has created his own mystical world.” [ThePlaylist]

Yes, a long way from Jack Sparrow. Why, I can’t see any similarities at all, save the head scarf, face paint, long hair, braids, leather accessories, wide-eyed look, and feathers in his hair. They could not be more different. Asked to elaborate on his characters’ contrasts, Depp paused and mused thoughtfully, “I have a bird on my head in this one.”

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