"I don't know... let's try getting some more sluts in the frame."

I hope you all saved up money for tickets and commemorative t-shirts, because the Brett Ratner Kinda Sorta Apology Tour is in full swing. You may remember in the last two days how good ol’ Ratface talked about “banging” Olivia Munn back before she was Asian, and endearingly pointed out to a crowded theater that “rehearsal is for f*gs.” Well, now he wants you to know he’s sorry. A little. You know, if you took it wrong. Pussy.

First, his statement on using a gay slur:

“I apologize for any offense my remarks caused. It was a dumb way of expressing myself. Everyone who knows me knows that I don’t have a prejudiced bone in my body. But as a storyteller I should have been much more thoughtful about the power of language and my choice of words.”

As a storyteller? AS A STORYTELLER? Whoawhoawhoa. Pump the brakes, bub. A drunk with a bullhorn tells more subtle and evocative stories than Brett Ratner. It’s like Hooters calling itself a three star French restaurant. And I love the classic “sorry if you were offended” tone. The whole statement might as well say, “Sorry if you homos got mad. I love you guys, really. You’re great to have around so ladies let their guard down. I’ll be more awesome next time. Love (not like that, ew), Ratsy.”

Read the rest of this entry »

The tourism board of New Zealand has issued a formal apology to Yogi Bear and House Bunny star Anna Faris after she told talk show host George Lopez that while she was in the country filming Yogi Bear, two separate groups of older men yelled profanities at her. The precise phrases yelled at her were, “F*ck you, a**hole!” and “Show me your tits, you stupid bitch!” To be fair, I’d yell at her, too, because I’ve watched Yogi Bear.

The interview took place on Lopez’s terrible show on December 14, but the apology comes now because the tourism board had initially blown her off, adding insult to verbal injury. A spokesman for the tourism board denounced her credibility because Faris was also awarded a “Stony” by High Times magazine, but he backed off yesterday.

“The inference that Tourism NZ did not take Ms. Faris’ comments seriously is very much regretted and was certainly not intended,” Tourism New Zealand said.

“On a U.S. talk show Ms. Faris spoke about disrespectful behavior she experienced during her stay in New Zealand and as a consequence her impression of New Zealand men is, to say the least, poor.”

The agency said it would offer Faris some “great Kiwi hospitality” to make up for its comments and the vulgar behavior she experienced. (Via Associated Press)

Big whoop, some guys wanted to see her cans. Take a look at her film list on IMDB – I think we deserve a little skin at this point. Also, I’ve included the interview after the jump for any sado-masochists here, but I think we can finally sum Lopez up with one quote: “I saw Yogi Bear and I loved it.” Now I will await my formal apology from the tourism board of New Zealand for making me watch a George Lopez segment.

Read the rest of this entry »

So of course Christian Bale issued a response to tirade-gate:

“It’s been a miserable week for me. I know I have a pottymouth, everybody knows that now. I have no confusion whatsoever. […] I was way out of order. I acted like a punk, I regret that and there is nobody that has heard that tape that has been hit harder by it than me. I make no excuses for it […]. I’m embarrassed by it. I ask everybody to sit down and ask themselves, have they ever had a bad day and have they ever lost their temper and really regretted it immensely. Feel free to make fun of me at my expense; I deserve it completely.

On whether there are any hard feelings between he and the DP: “We have resolved this completely…I have no intention of getting anyone fired. There is no problem whatsoever.”

He continues, “One thing that has really disturbed me throughout this is I’m not familiar or comfortable with this notion of being a movie star. I’m an actor and I’m don’t quite know how to handle [the movie star thing]. The thing that disturbs me so much is that I’ve heard a lot of people saying that I seem to think I’m better than anybody else. Nothing could be farther from the truth. I’m a lucky SOB. I never forget that and that is why I put so much into what I do and I care so much about it . Sometimes that enthusiasm just goes awry.” [Cinematical]

Oh, Christian, just kill a hooker while flexing in the mirror and all is forgiven.  But don’t apologize to us, just thank James Lipton and Conan O’Brien for ruining the joke once and for all.  Oh my, isn’t this delightfully random!  You Harvard fellows certainly are irreverent.
Read the rest of this entry »