I’m not going to pretend I’m qualified to name this year’s best movies (more qualified than most who make these lists, but still) or that I saw every movie, but people on the internet love lists, and I love money. I find that the strippers object when you try to stuff post-it notes in their vaginas. On that note, here are the 10 movies of 2009 that I would stuff in my vagina like a $1,000 dollar bill. KNIVES OUT!
1. Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans
I need to see this again to truly understand what I experienced, but if I’m honest, it was probably the most fun I had in a theater this year. (I should’ve gone with Alanis Morissette *frownie*) Was it fun because it was really good, or just really crazy and weird? I don’t really know. But isn’t it a little unfair to make that distinction?
2. The Hurt Locker
Definitely the most well-made movie this year. It was a simple, straightforward plot, but it was well-acted, perfectly shot, and as tense as waiting for your STD-test results. It really took you to another place, and that’s what it’s all about, right? (other than being able to sit on your ass and eat nachos). Every director should study the way this was storyboarded and edited. Especially Brett Ratner, that guy sucks.
3. Anvil! The Story of Anvil
What can I say, there’s just something about middle-aged men trying to live out their childhood dreams while repeatedly getting kicked in the face that does it for me. It kept making me teary-eyed without feeling like it was trying really hard to do so (like Up). Damn you, you lovable Canadians.