“Mustang, this is Big Top, bringing out the full package,” coincidentally, is also what I say into a walkie-talkie right before I get arrested for indecent exposure.

As you can see, the trailer has just hit for Antoine Fuqua’s Olympus Has Fallen, starring Gerard Butler as a Secret Service agent stuck in the White House after terrorists take over and Speaker of the House Morgan Freeman has to become acting president. If you ask me, Morgan Freeman becoming president seems like a win-win for everyone, but according to screenwriters Creighton Rothenburger (HOLY LACROSSE NAME, BATMAN!) and Katherine Benedkt, this is considered “conflict.” Moreover, this seems to have everything you’d expect in an action movie:

It’s Die Hard in a _____!

Explosions.

CUT TO: “…Oh. My. God.”

But what it isn’t is White House Down, the original Die Hard-in-the-White-House movie starring our boy Channing Tatum and Jamie Foxx (yes, this is a real movie, with Independence Day‘s Roland Emmerich directing). Does Olympus Has Fallen have C-Tates as agent Cole Baretta? Does it have Chet Haze as Cole Baretta’s protege, agent-in-training JJ Streetz? Does it have Cole Baretta’s partner, a talking pit bull voiced by Pit Bull? Does it have zombie attacks, or the ghosts of Tupac and Biggie showing up to give Cole Baretta advice like Obi-wan Kenobi? No, it has none of these things. Granted, unless Sony gives Burnsy that re-write job he’s been pushing for, neither will White House Down. But White House Down gave us the room to dream, and that’s what’s important. So Antoine Fuquoff with this non-C-Tates-having garbage.

As we’ve previously reported, Channing Tatum’s upcoming action film White House Down has been fast-tracked for production beginning next month after it was revealed that a similar project, White House Taken, was being shopped around at Cannes. Starring Gerard Butler, White House Taken also tells the story of a secret service agent that fights a terrorist group – in this version it’s North Koreans – as it tries to capture the President.

Having already felt the mad C-Tates heat, Nu Image and Millenium are also feeling the pressure to speed things up, as the film, now named Olympus Has Fallen, isn’t slated to hit theaters until 2014. According to The Hollywood Reporter, the Antoine Fuqua-directed film’s cast is filling out quickly.

Oscar winner Melissa Leo and Rick Yune are joining the cast of Olympus Has Fallen, Nu Image/Millennium’s White House-set action thriller being directed by Antoine Fuqua.

The movie, which stars Gerard Butler, is in casting mode as it goes into production this week. Aaron Eckhart, Angela Bassett, Cole Hauser and Radha Mitchell already have been cast.

This is one of the lamest trends in Hollywood, when two studios compete to make the same exact movie in a hurry because they think that whichever film comes out first can declare supremacy. It happened with Volcano and Dante’s Peak, Tombstone and Wyatt Earp, The Illusionist and The Prestige, Saving Private Ryan and The Thin Red Line, and Philadelphia and Beethoven’s 2nd.

But this case obviously hits home the hardest, as we’ve been exclusively delivering you amazing White House Down storyboards in anticipation for what will clearly be Tatum’s most prolific blockbuster to date. Shame on Nu Image and Millennium, and shame on Butler. He should know better than to piggyback on C-Tates’ swag.

(Arrow added to emphasize titties)

Well this is weird. Just last night someone was talking about Brooklyn’s Finest. He said he’d seen it at Sundance last year and I asked why it wasn’t out yet, and he said probably because the ending was ridiculous and terrible.  It comes from Training Day director Antoine Fuqua (is it just me, or is everyone named Antoine either a flaming gay or a big scary tough guy?) and stars Ethan Hawke, Richard Gere, Don Cheadle, and Wesley Snipes.  As the headline would indicate, it basically looks like if Crash was set in Brooklyn.  So much crime and racism, it’s a shame what’s happened to our inner cities.  If only Sandra Bullock would teach more blacks to play football.

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