If you thought that the brilliant Twitter campaign launched by Tim Heidecker and Neil Hamburger was a masterpiece of destroying what looks to be a terrible film, then make some more room in your Louvre because animator Edmund Earle has put together an alternate ending to the live action Yogi Bear film, which opens this Friday. Starring that guy from the TV show Ed and Anna Faris’ fine self and featuring the voices of Dan Aykroyd as the titular picnic basket thief and Justin Timberlake as his furry twink Boo Boo, this movie is 20 years too late and should only be viewed by death row inmates. However, Earle’s contribution – that he claims he put together with his coworker in their spare time and inspired by The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford in the 21st and a Half Century – is almost enough to make me want to watch it if I knew that this was the real ending.

Video after the jump…

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When we last heard from our good friend Channing Tatum, we learned that he was adding producer to his distinguished repertoire, and to show that he is indeed the “hardest twirkin’ playa in show biznass” he’s attached to star in and produce yet another film, Ten Year. As always, he was kind enough to drop some knowledge on us.

Yo girl, it’s ya boi C-TATES and I’mma raise my rates cuz I shine like da Pearly Gates, and when me and my girl goes shoppin’ we buy furniture at the Barrel and Crates. For real, stained armoire like a mutha f*cka. So check it girl, remember when you was all fat and sh*t in high schools and da other bitches be all like, Yo girl, yo sh*t is whack and you was all like, Oh snap I’m cryin’ cuz you girls is mean to me, right? But then you went to college and yo tittays got all big like KAPLOW! Now you like, Check it son, tittays for days.

Well that’s what C-Tate’s new jam Ten Year is gonna be like, cuz like I’m producin’ and sh*t and I’m bringin’ my crew legit. Yo girl, we’s playin’ friends who meet up and lay some game at our ten year reunion. That’s like, a decade, right? Math for real, AP GEOMETRY SON WHAT! And like all the bitches gon be like, Yo C-Tate’s, you was the cappin of the footballs and prom kings and now you makin’ millions as like the prezident Obamas, recognize.

Yo Cinema Blend, will there be dancin’? You know we breakin’ it off, playa:

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I’m trying out a new segment here on FilmDrunk, “Who trailer’d it better?”  I plan to use it whenever I want to combine two trailers into one post.  Today, we’ve got Yogi Bear and Titanic 2.

Yogi Bear
Dan Aykroyd does the introduction and he seems reeeally happy to be here.  In any case, we see that they’ve given Yogi the live-action CG mix treatment, a la Alvin & the Chipmunks and Furry Vengeance.  Aykroyd’s Yogi voice is a little different than the one you’re used to, sort of a cross between Rodney Dangerfield and an old Rabbi, though the CGI bear seems to have all Rodney’s mannerisms. Is it wrong that I was hoping he’d punch a girl?  Based on Nic Cage’s performance in Wicker Man, I’d just assumed that’s what bears do.  Anyway, it took them almost 40 seconds to get to a CGI animal, hip-hop dance scene, compared to 38 seconds for Beverly Hills Chihuahua and 22 for Alvin and the Chipmunks 2.  I am never, ever going to get back the 15 minutes I spent calculating that.

Titanic 2
With a title like that, it has to be good!  From the studio that brought you Transmorphers and Snakes on a Train!

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Hollywood execs would rather watch cable than read scripts, so naturally, there are a lot of remakes on the way.  Today in remake news…

Anna Faris is attached to remake 1980 Goldie Hawn comedy Private Benjamin.   “The original starred Hawn as a spoiled woman who joins the Army after her husband dies during sex on their wedding night.  The new take will set the story in contemporary times with modern wars as the backdrop. Hey, remember when they already tried this sh*t with Jessica Simpson?  It was like Legally Blonde meets In the Army Now.  Legally Retarded, I think it was called.  I wonder if it made back its $30 million budget during its theatrical run in Russia and Bulgaria. But I’m sure this will be great. |THR|

Baywatch movie gets new writers.  Brian Gatewood and Alessandro Tanaka, who wrote the upcoming The Sitter for Jonah Hill and David Gordon Green, are taking over for The Break-Up‘s Jeremy Garelick, and National Security writers Jay Scherick and David Ronn, who’d worked on earlier versions of the project.  Five screenwriters, that’s a good sign, right?  “Additionally, insiders place the “Baywatch” adaptation in the context of a TV revamp like “Charlie’s Angels” rather than “Starsky and Hutch,” [that's good, I was worried it wouldn't be sh*tty] which indicates that female-driven action is also on the menu.”  Which is bullsh*t.  Everyone knows David Hasselhoff wrestling alligators was the heart of the show. (see video above) |RiskyBizBlog|

Michael Bay doing Rosemary’s Baby? Yesterday, Roger Ebert tweefed: “Michael Bay is remaking ‘Rosemary’s Baby. O….kay…’, and then later: “My previous post was too hard to decipher? I’ll translate: Michael Bay remaking ‘Rosemary’s Baby?’ WTF!” Since Ebert has so many followers, “Michael Bay” and “Rosemary’s Baby” quickly developed into trending topics.  Thing is, unless Ebert has some new news the rest of us aren’t privy to, the last I heard was that Bay’s production company was negotiating for the rights back in March ’08 (with no plans for Bay to direct), only to shelve the idea that December.  So relax, people, there are plenty horrible remake ideas to get worked up over that are actually happening.  Like the two I just mentioned, for instance.

“What our movie presupposes is, maybe Rosemary gave birth to Jaden Smith?”
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I don’t know if there’s a name for it, but it’s a common phenomenon in Hollywood that a studio head or development exec will buy a pitch or greenlight a project; then that exec will resign or get fired, and the guy that takes his place will either fail to promote his predecessor’s projects to make himself look better by comparison, or just sh*tcan them altogether depending on what stage of development they’re in.  It can be positive and negative.  But I’m starting to like new Disney chief Rich Ross, who at least in this case seems to be using his powers for good.

Less than a month after beaching “Captain Nemo: 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea,” new Walt Disney chief Rich Ross has put the kibosh on “Wedding Banned,” a romantic comedy to have starred Robin Williams, Anna Faris and Diane Keaton.
“Banned” revolves around a long-divorced couple (Williams and Keaton) who kidnap their daughter (Faris) on her wedding day to prevent her from making the same mistakes they did. The parents rekindle their relationship as they elude cops and the angry groom.
The movie was being groomed for a shoot next year, but Ross made the decision to untether the project. The decision took some by surprise since “Banned” seemed to be in the mold of such other studio hit comedies as “The Proposal” and “Wild Hogs.” One factor in the decision was the poor showing of another Disney comedy starring Williams, “Old Dogs,” which has grossed $35 million since its Nov. 25 opening. [THR]

I don’t want to give Ross too much credit, because anyone who thought this movie was a good idea deserves to be trampled to death by wildebeests.  Too bad for Robin Williams, he must be taking this news like a golf ball to the nuts. (*RECORD SCRATCH*)