I’m trying out a new segment here on FilmDrunk, “Who trailer’d it better?”  I plan to use it whenever I want to combine two trailers into one post.  Today, we’ve got Yogi Bear and Titanic 2.

Yogi Bear
Dan Aykroyd does the introduction and he seems reeeally happy to be here.  In any case, we see that they’ve given Yogi the live-action CG mix treatment, a la Alvin & the Chipmunks and Furry Vengeance.  Aykroyd’s Yogi voice is a little different than the one you’re used to, sort of a cross between Rodney Dangerfield and an old Rabbi, though the CGI bear seems to have all Rodney’s mannerisms. Is it wrong that I was hoping he’d punch a girl?  Based on Nic Cage’s performance in Wicker Man, I’d just assumed that’s what bears do.  Anyway, it took them almost 40 seconds to get to a CGI animal, hip-hop dance scene, compared to 38 seconds for Beverly Hills Chihuahua and 22 for Alvin and the Chipmunks 2.  I am never, ever going to get back the 15 minutes I spent calculating that.

Titanic 2
With a title like that, it has to be good!  From the studio that brought you Transmorphers and Snakes on a Train!

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Hollywood execs would rather watch cable than read scripts, so naturally, there are a lot of remakes on the way.  Today in remake news…

Anna Faris is attached to remake 1980 Goldie Hawn comedy Private Benjamin.   “The original starred Hawn as a spoiled woman who joins the Army after her husband dies during sex on their wedding night.  The new take will set the story in contemporary times with modern wars as the backdrop. Hey, remember when they already tried this sh*t with Jessica Simpson?  It was like Legally Blonde meets In the Army Now.  Legally Retarded, I think it was called.  I wonder if it made back its $30 million budget during its theatrical run in Russia and Bulgaria. But I’m sure this will be great. |THR|

Baywatch movie gets new writers.  Brian Gatewood and Alessandro Tanaka, who wrote the upcoming The Sitter for Jonah Hill and David Gordon Green, are taking over for The Break-Up‘s Jeremy Garelick, and National Security writers Jay Scherick and David Ronn, who’d worked on earlier versions of the project.  Five screenwriters, that’s a good sign, right?  “Additionally, insiders place the “Baywatch” adaptation in the context of a TV revamp like “Charlie’s Angels” rather than “Starsky and Hutch,” [that's good, I was worried it wouldn't be sh*tty] which indicates that female-driven action is also on the menu.”  Which is bullsh*t.  Everyone knows David Hasselhoff wrestling alligators was the heart of the show. (see video above) |RiskyBizBlog|

Michael Bay doing Rosemary’s Baby? Yesterday, Roger Ebert tweefed: “Michael Bay is remaking ‘Rosemary’s Baby. O….kay…’, and then later: “My previous post was too hard to decipher? I’ll translate: Michael Bay remaking ‘Rosemary’s Baby?’ WTF!” Since Ebert has so many followers, “Michael Bay” and “Rosemary’s Baby” quickly developed into trending topics.  Thing is, unless Ebert has some new news the rest of us aren’t privy to, the last I heard was that Bay’s production company was negotiating for the rights back in March ’08 (with no plans for Bay to direct), only to shelve the idea that December.  So relax, people, there are plenty horrible remake ideas to get worked up over that are actually happening.  Like the two I just mentioned, for instance.

“What our movie presupposes is, maybe Rosemary gave birth to Jaden Smith?”
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I don’t know if there’s a name for it, but it’s a common phenomenon in Hollywood that a studio head or development exec will buy a pitch or greenlight a project; then that exec will resign or get fired, and the guy that takes his place will either fail to promote his predecessor’s projects to make himself look better by comparison, or just sh*tcan them altogether depending on what stage of development they’re in.  It can be positive and negative.  But I’m starting to like new Disney chief Rich Ross, who at least in this case seems to be using his powers for good.

Less than a month after beaching “Captain Nemo: 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea,” new Walt Disney chief Rich Ross has put the kibosh on “Wedding Banned,” a romantic comedy to have starred Robin Williams, Anna Faris and Diane Keaton.
“Banned” revolves around a long-divorced couple (Williams and Keaton) who kidnap their daughter (Faris) on her wedding day to prevent her from making the same mistakes they did. The parents rekindle their relationship as they elude cops and the angry groom.
The movie was being groomed for a shoot next year, but Ross made the decision to untether the project. The decision took some by surprise since “Banned” seemed to be in the mold of such other studio hit comedies as “The Proposal” and “Wild Hogs.” One factor in the decision was the poor showing of another Disney comedy starring Williams, “Old Dogs,” which has grossed $35 million since its Nov. 25 opening. [THR]

I don’t want to give Ross too much credit, because anyone who thought this movie was a good idea deserves to be trampled to death by wildebeests.  Too bad for Robin Williams, he must be taking this news like a golf ball to the nuts. (*RECORD SCRATCH*)

Don’t get me wrong, Anna Faris is an attractive woman I would love to take for a van ride some time.  But it’s starting to seem like her agent might be functionally illiterate, or an actual porpoise.  Faris has two prospective projects in the trades today.  The first is TMI with Ryan Reynolds at Universal.  OMG, U. optioned TMI?  LOL!

Scripted by Kirsten “Kiwi” Smith and Marc Klein, the comic premise is that while honesty is the best policy for a relationship, [*RECORD SCRATCH*] “too much information” might not be the best thing. Andrew Panay (“Old Dogs”) will produce. [Woof.]

Believe it or not, that’s the better-sounding one.

Anna Faris is in negotiations to star as Robin Williams’ daughter in “Wedding Banned,” a romantic comedy for Touchstone. “Banned” revolves around a long-divorced couple who kidnap their daughter (Faris) on her wedding day to prevent her from making the same mistakes they did. The parents rekindle their relationship as they elude cops and the angry groom.

That one comes from the writers of Raising Helen and The Shaggy Dog, by the way.  HERE, ANNA, READ THIS.  IT’S BY THE GUY WHO WROTE THE MOVIE WHERE TIM ALLEN TURNS INTO A DOG.  How does that guy still have a job?  She must be insanely nice.  I’m driving to her house right now.

(Picnic Bear is Yogi Bear’s cousin.  He doesn’t steal picnic baskets, he just waits patiently for someone to show up with one)

Anna Faris, Justin Timberlake, and Dan Aykroyd have joined the cast of WB’s CGI/live action Yogi Bear movie, to be directed by Journey to the Center of The Earth director Eric Brevig.

Faris will play a nature documentarian who follows the antics of a bear in fictional Jellystone Park. Aykroyd will voice Yogi, and Timberlake could end up lending his pipes for Yogi’s constant companion, Boo Boo. [THR]

I always sort of liked Yogi Bear.  I always sort of liked Anna Faris and Justin Timberlake and Dan Aykroyd too.  So why am I not excited for this?  Probably because when they CGI old cartoons and mix it with live action, it tends to look like this:

Does that appeal to anyone over the age of 10?  No.  Which means I’ll probably end up taking a date to this, but I won’t be happy about it.