This was a particularly interesting chart that was a late addition to my career graphs post the other day. Wanted to make sure you saw it, because, you know… creepy.

MOAR TRADE NEWS, NOM NOM NOM

Ben Stiller & Vince Vaughn in negotiations to co-star in Neighborhood Watch. Vince Vaughn hasn’t seemed to care about making good movies in half a decade and Ben Stiller… was in Little Fockers… but hey! Remember Zoolander?  Written by Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg (Superbad), NW is a “sci-fi comedy about a suburban neighborhood watch group that uncovers a plot to destroy the world.” On the possible plus side, it’s set to be directed by Akiva Shaffer (Guy 1, the Ape Sh*t Killer from The Lonely Island), and if anyone can bring back good, dumb comedy (as opposed to the obnoxious, pandering Kevin James sh*t), it’s the Lonely Island guys.  Or it could just be another way for Vince Vaughn to eat food and collect a paycheck. We’ll see. [THR]

Disney is making a movie about The Matterhorn ride. Compared to the thousand other idiotic adaptations in the works, this actually doesn’t seem so bad. At least it has a theme, a setting, and a villain. But hey, didn’t they already make this?  Coincidentally, “The Matterhorn” is my favorite depraved sex practice. …If you don’t know what it is, sorry, bro, I’m not telling. Though it is variously known as a “Stinky Yeti.” [THR]

What did you do to Anna Faris’ hair, you bastards?! (Set pic from Sacha Coen’s The Dictator). A girl who looks like Anna Faris getting this kind of haircut should be grounds for divorce. I know that’s sexist, but I feel like there should be some middleground between “whorish Barbie doll designed for my amusement” and visually insulting attempt to become an old lady. [GettyImages]

Diablo Cody to direct Lamb of God. Writer of Juno and Jennifer’s Body set to make her directing debut in a story about “a young conservative religious woman who loses her faith after a plane crash, decides to go to Las Vegas to live the life of a sinner, and on her journey finds her way back to her faith.” I’ve always said that once you strip away the grating slang and kitschy hipster music, Juno is a solid movie.  But having seen Jennifer’s Body, I wonder if that’s mostly a credit to Jason Reitman. Hard to say at this point, but I am drafting plans for Burnsy, Ufford, and I to write more frat fiction under the pen name “DiaBro Cody.” |ComingSoon|

Kevin Smith Made a Distribution Deal and Sh*t. Read the rest of this entry »

The tourism board of New Zealand has issued a formal apology to Yogi Bear and House Bunny star Anna Faris after she told talk show host George Lopez that while she was in the country filming Yogi Bear, two separate groups of older men yelled profanities at her. The precise phrases yelled at her were, “F*ck you, a**hole!” and “Show me your tits, you stupid bitch!” To be fair, I’d yell at her, too, because I’ve watched Yogi Bear.

The interview took place on Lopez’s terrible show on December 14, but the apology comes now because the tourism board had initially blown her off, adding insult to verbal injury. A spokesman for the tourism board denounced her credibility because Faris was also awarded a “Stony” by High Times magazine, but he backed off yesterday.

“The inference that Tourism NZ did not take Ms. Faris’ comments seriously is very much regretted and was certainly not intended,” Tourism New Zealand said.

“On a U.S. talk show Ms. Faris spoke about disrespectful behavior she experienced during her stay in New Zealand and as a consequence her impression of New Zealand men is, to say the least, poor.”

The agency said it would offer Faris some “great Kiwi hospitality” to make up for its comments and the vulgar behavior she experienced. (Via Associated Press)

Big whoop, some guys wanted to see her cans. Take a look at her film list on IMDB – I think we deserve a little skin at this point. Also, I’ve included the interview after the jump for any sado-masochists here, but I think we can finally sum Lopez up with one quote: “I saw Yogi Bear and I loved it.” Now I will await my formal apology from the tourism board of New Zealand for making me watch a George Lopez segment.

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Here we have Topher Grace, Anna Faris, Dmitri Martin, and Dan Fogler in the trailer for Michael Dowse’s Take Me Home Tonight, which doesn’t look terrible, just like a more generic version of Adventureland.

As the summer of 1988 winds down, three friends on the verge of adulthood attend an out-of-control party in celebration of their last night of unbridled youth. Recent MIT grad Matt Franklin (Topher Grace) should be working for a Fortune 500 company and starting his upward climb to full-fledged yuppie-hood. Instead, the directionless 23-year-old confounds family and friends by taking a part-time job behind the counter of a video store at the Sherman Oaks Galleria. [Cinematical]

Not to be confused with Greg Mottola’s 80s period piece from two years ago…

Unable to afford the European vacation he’d dreamed of, recent college grad James Brennan (Jesse Eisenberg) reluctantly takes a gig at a local amusement park, only to learn that the dead-end job is, in fact, excellent preparation for the real world.

And just when you’re like, “Whoa, aren’t they gonna put the Eddie Money song in the trailer?” BOOM!  There’s the f*ckin’ Eddie Money song, right in the f*ckin’ trailer! Meanwhile, Adventureland had the New York Dolls, Husker Dü, and the Velvet Underground, was rated R, and made no money.  Stupid Greg Mottola, what were you thinking, not naming your movie after a song, giving it a cheesy tagline, and making it look like a Glee episode?  Were you trying to not make money? Ugh, I hate people.

If you thought that the brilliant Twitter campaign launched by Tim Heidecker and Neil Hamburger was a masterpiece of destroying what looks to be a terrible film, then make some more room in your Louvre because animator Edmund Earle has put together an alternate ending to the live action Yogi Bear film, which opens this Friday. Starring that guy from the TV show Ed and Anna Faris’ fine self and featuring the voices of Dan Aykroyd as the titular picnic basket thief and Justin Timberlake as his furry twink Boo Boo, this movie is 20 years too late and should only be viewed by death row inmates. However, Earle’s contribution – that he claims he put together with his coworker in their spare time and inspired by The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford in the 21st and a Half Century – is almost enough to make me want to watch it if I knew that this was the real ending.

Video after the jump…

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When we last heard from our good friend Channing Tatum, we learned that he was adding producer to his distinguished repertoire, and to show that he is indeed the “hardest twirkin’ playa in show biznass” he’s attached to star in and produce yet another film, Ten Year. As always, he was kind enough to drop some knowledge on us.

Yo girl, it’s ya boi C-TATES and I’mma raise my rates cuz I shine like da Pearly Gates, and when me and my girl goes shoppin’ we buy furniture at the Barrel and Crates. For real, stained armoire like a mutha f*cka. So check it girl, remember when you was all fat and sh*t in high schools and da other bitches be all like, Yo girl, yo sh*t is whack and you was all like, Oh snap I’m cryin’ cuz you girls is mean to me, right? But then you went to college and yo tittays got all big like KAPLOW! Now you like, Check it son, tittays for days.

Well that’s what C-Tate’s new jam Ten Year is gonna be like, cuz like I’m producin’ and sh*t and I’m bringin’ my crew legit. Yo girl, we’s playin’ friends who meet up and lay some game at our ten year reunion. That’s like, a decade, right? Math for real, AP GEOMETRY SON WHAT! And like all the bitches gon be like, Yo C-Tate’s, you was the cappin of the footballs and prom kings and now you makin’ millions as like the prezident Obamas, recognize.

Yo Cinema Blend, will there be dancin’? You know we breakin’ it off, playa:

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