After the jump, I’ve got the full trailer for Angels and Demons, in which Tom Hanks takes his brotox forehead and weird floppy hair to Italy to do a passable Nic Cage impression and solve the age-old mystery at the heart of the Catholic church: does the pope indeed shit in the woods?  Or was that the bear?  Or maybe it was Nic Cage dressed as a bear.  These can’t be mere coincidences, people.
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EW this week has a new batch of publicity stills from 2009 movies and I’ve included a few of my favorites below.  Above you can see Wolverine (trailer here) loudly protesting his lack of suds and rubber ducky.  He can be really immature sometimes.  Elsewhere, you can see Jack Black and Michael Cera in The Year One.  They play…

Zed and Oh, hunter-gatherers who are banished from their village and wander through scenes from the Old Testament, encountering the likes of Cain and Abel (David Cross and Paul Rudd) and Abraham (Hank Azaria). Asked if he expects the film’s religious satire to offend, [Caddyshack/Groundhog Day director Harold] Ramis laughs: ”I hope so!”

We’ve also got Tom Hanks in Angels and Demons (trailer) looking like he and Nic Cage share the same forehead surgeon; Meryl Streep playing Julia Child, who apparently was six foot two, in Julia and Julia — what, Sigourney Weaver was busy?  And then there’s the Jonas Brothers in The Jonas Brothers 3D Concert Experience.  I know it’s become almost passé to call the Jonas Brothers queer, but holy hell the Jonas Brothers are queer.  Here’s a tip, boys, if you want to be seen as respected musicians, try not to look so much like a f-ckin Mervyn’s ad.  Secondly, go f-ck yourselves.

[More pics over at Entertainment Weekly]

Pretty much everyone who saw the Da Vinci Code hated it, but it made money so Tom Hanks and Ron Howard were forced to do the sequel, Angels and Demons, based on the book, which actually takes place (and was written) before the Da Vinci Code.  This is just a teaser with hardly any footage, but we do get to see that the Illuminati have branded some dude.  I don’t know who the Illuminati are, but judging by this I’m gonna have to guess they’re a black fraternity.

According to an Icelandic site, this may be the first teaser poster for upcoming Ron Howard joint Angels and Demons.  I can’t see his eyes, but Tom Hanks sure looks stoned!  Hey, looks like Airwaves decided to sit this one out!    **shrugs, mopes off stage**

[Movieweb]

Naomi Watts has reportedly signed up for Angels and Demons, the sequel/prequel to The Da Vinci Code starring Tom Hanks and helmed by Ron Howard. 

Dan Brown’s "Angels & Demons," published in 2000, introduced the Robert Langdon character played by Tom Hanks, a Harvard professor who’s an expert in religious symbols, in "Code." In "Angels," Langdon’s character tries to solve a murder and unravel a plot by an ancient group, the Illuminati, to blow up the Vatican during a papal conclave. 

Would it be naïve to hope (against hope) that this will be as good as the Da Vinci Code or, dare I say it, as good as the book on which it’s based??  Anyway, all I’m saying is, LOOK GOD, RON HOWARD’S INSULTING YOUR SON AGAIN, NOW’S YOUR CHANCE TO SMITE HIM!  SMITE SMITE SMITE!  Oh, and uh, there’s some people in Africa that are starving, and/or being raped and murdered or something.  Kind of a whenever-you-get-the-chance kind of a thing.   

It’s also important to note that Naomi Watts is an anagram for “I on twats, ma," which I find rather telling.