"Eat this pizza, butthorn! It'll pop your goddamn vest buttons!"

GARY BUSEY WAS FRAMED! A couple of loser photographers called the cops on Gary Busey, saying he was driving drunk.  Only when the cops stopped him, they found that he was “perfectly sober” (is that possible?), and it turned out, the couple who called them only did it so they could take pictures. These butthorns should be sentenced to a headbutting most thorough. Besides, you don’t need a zoom lens to take pictures of Gary Busey, just a freshly-killed deer carcass and a pillow case full of tennis balls. Trust me on this. |TMZ|

New picture of Captain America (Chris Evans) in his suit.  Eh, it’s okay, I guess. I sort of expected America to have a bigger dong bulge. |WWTDD|

Adam Sandler will play Andy Samberg’s father in I Hate You Dad, despite them being 12 years apart in real life.  I was worried Sandler was pulling Samberg, the funniest SNL castmember by far, into his vortex of lazy pandering Sandler’s been in for the last few years.  But the script comes from David Caspe, with a re-write by David Wain (Wet Hot American Summer) and Ken Marino (Party Down), both of whom bring the funny on Children’s Hospital.  Is it too much to ask for a Sandler comedy that doesn’t play to Kevin James’ sensibilities?  I hope not.  |THR|

The Rite poster looks just like cult classic, The Room.  Weird, right? |via|

Paul Dano to join Robert DeNiro in ‘Another Bullsh*t Night in Suck City’.  Dano will play Nick Flynn in the adaptation of Flynn’s memoir, DeNiro will play his father.  (I saw Nick Flynn read once. He was good).  The title refers to homeless life in Boston.  Bawston?  Wait a second, cawksuckah, don’t you mean SAWX city?  |TheWrap|

Whoa, Drive Angry 3D suddenly looks awesome.  After the jump, see (NSFW) video of Nic Cage delivering my new favorite one liner:

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SNL was pretty much what we’ve come to expect this week: a couple funny bits involving Andy Samberg and Jason Sudeikis floating in a sea of unfunny crap like Kenan Thompson’s Grady Wilson sketch that makes you wonder why the person who thought this should be a recurring character hasn’t been taken out behind a barn and shot (and if no barns exist near 30 Rock, I could build one for the purpose).  Anyway, here’s the digital short, James Cameron’s Lasercats 5, with cameo by James Cameron.  I think it’s the attention to detail that makes it, with all the James Cameron references and Papyrus font.  If I had one criticism, it’s that I wish there were more real cats (but I say that about everything, even my grandma’s funeral).  Oh, and at the end, where Lorne Michaels throws them out of his office, someone could say, “You didn’t like it, Lorne?  Hey, aren’t you the guy who hired Kenan Thompson?”  And then kill him with the laser cat.

[Oh, and here's a Golden Globes drinking game for tonight, though if you're even considering watching the Golden Globes, you're probably drunk off your ass already]

Warming Glow is the TV blog around these parts, so you can see Ufford for the full SNL recap, but I couldn’t resist posting this clip of Andy Samberg as Nic Cage.  Andy Samberg is the best SNL cast member by miles (Jason Sudeikis is underrated) and there are about a million different ways you could go with a Nic Cage bit — he’s broke, he steals chihuahuas, he’s a furrie, he punches women, he’s buyin’ snake venom and seein’ invisible iguanas, he’s doing a Nazi initiation with Werner Herzog… these are just ideas, but call me any time, NBC, I’m always home.  Point being, there’s a wealth of timely material, but they go with the most obvious angle, the Nic-Cage-is-just-like-his-National-Treasure-character angle.  Obvious or not, Samberg knocks it out of the park, because Nic Cage is a comedian’s dream.  And a caricaturist’s nightmare.

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I combined a couple of these stories into one post because they weren’t that interesting:

Billy Bob Thornton and the Rock
…are joining the cast of Faster. “The Rock plays Driver, an ex-con out to avenge his brother’s murder. Thornton plays Cop, a veteran policeman who trails Driver. Also in the mix is Killer, an egocentric hitman who’s after Driver. That role hasn’t been cast yet.”  I really hope those aren’t the character’s actual names, said Producer.  ...Would you ask Tom Petty if he was gonna be in a movie with The Rock? [Variety]

Emmanuelle Chriqui and Val Kilmer
…are set to star in Georgia, about the Russia-Georgia conflict last year.  I’m sure it will be historically accurate, because it’s being directed by Renny Harlin (12 Rounds, Driven, Deep Blue Sea, The Adventures of Ford Fairlane), whose movies are occasionally good by accident. [THR]

Ricky Gervais is hosting the Golden Globes
…which makes it a shame that the Golden Globes are such a sham.  It’s hard not to look corrupt when you honor a bunch of movies that hadn’t even been released when the nominations were announced.  But I like Ricky Gervais.  He’s one of the good ones. [HitFix]

And finally, this guy got a boner while looking at an Iron Man DVD:

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Good news, everyone! Andy Samberg and Rashida Jones made a new promo for the MTV movie awards!  And just in time for me to phone it in!   Anyway, it’s a fake for your consideration ad for “Best Villain,” for the fake film “Gentle Dismemberment.”  In it, Andy Samberg gives Rashida jones a basket full of puppies and she gets really excited.  It’s strange, her reaction is almost the exact opposite of the girl I gave a basket of puppies to.  In retrospect, I suppose I should’ve used live puppies, but how the hell do you keep them from climbing out of the basket, the slippery buggers!

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