I combined a couple of these stories into one post because they weren’t that interesting:
Billy Bob Thornton and the Rock
…are joining the cast of Faster. “The Rock plays Driver, an ex-con out to avenge his brother’s murder. Thornton plays Cop, a veteran policeman who trails Driver. Also in the mix is Killer, an egocentric hitman who’s after Driver. That role hasn’t been cast yet.” I really hope those aren’t the character’s actual names, said Producer. ...Would you ask Tom Petty if he was gonna be in a movie with The Rock? [Variety]
Emmanuelle Chriqui and Val Kilmer
…are set to star in Georgia, about the Russia-Georgia conflict last year. I’m sure it will be historically accurate, because it’s being directed by Renny Harlin (12 Rounds, Driven, Deep Blue Sea, The Adventures of Ford Fairlane), whose movies are occasionally good by accident. [THR]
Ricky Gervais is hosting the Golden Globes
…which makes it a shame that the Golden Globes are such a sham. It’s hard not to look corrupt when you honor a bunch of movies that hadn’t even been released when the nominations were announced. But I like Ricky Gervais. He’s one of the good ones. [HitFix]
And finally, this guy got a boner while looking at an Iron Man DVD:
Good news, everyone! Andy Samberg and Rashida Jones made a new promo for the MTV movie awards! And just in time for me to phone it in! Anyway, it’s a fake for your consideration ad for “Best Villain,” for the fake film “Gentle Dismemberment.” In it, Andy Samberg gives Rashida jones a basket full of puppies and she gets really excited. It’s strange, her reaction is almost the exact opposite of the girl I gave a basket of puppies to. In retrospect, I suppose I should’ve used live puppies, but how the hell do you keep them from climbing out of the basket, the slippery buggers!
This one’s called Evenings with Ms. Eloise, and it’s the latest fake For Your Consideration promo for the MTV Movie Awards (see also: Slaughter Shack). In it, Anne Hathaway is her adorably do-able self while Andy Samberg plays Ms. Eloise, in a nice parody of the deathbed scenes in Benjamin Button. He pretends to cough and hack and does at least as good a job as Cate Blanchett. Yeah, we get it, Cate, you’re playing an old lady, now do us a favor and turn down the ham, ya showboatin’ bitch.
[Thanks to Lindsay for the tip]
Anyone who thinks the Oscars is an old-fart, elitist circle jerk (which it is), and should be more democratic, should take a look at the nominees for the People’s Choice or MTV Movie Awards some time. There isn’t much that’d make me want to watch a show where Slumdog and Twilight have the most nominations, and that gives an award for “Best WTF Moment,” but damn if they didn’t hire Andy Samberg to host. They’ve also been releasing these fake movie nominees for Best Fight for the last couple weeks. You can see the newest one, Slaughter Shack, with Samberg and Will Arnett above. Ha, thank God for the internet, otherwise you might actually have to watch the show to see these. Haha, WTF??? LOL1!
Grease up your gearshift, sailor, because here comes The Fast and the Bi-Curious all over your face. It stars two of my favorite comedy Jews, Andy Samberg and Seth Rogen, and it’s pretty much exactly how it sounds. Making the Fast and Furious characters gay seems like a funny joke. But then, is it a joke? There’re just some things that you expect to end with someone getting effed in the B. Fast/Furious movies. WWE. Kirk Cameron’s marriage. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. B effing, I mean. Some of my best friends are B effers.
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