When Idris Elba, aka Stringer Bell from The Wire, was cast as Heimdall in Thor, I thought it was odd casting. “So Odin has a black son now? That’s weird,” I thought, and then I shrugged and took a bite of my sandwich and forgot about it forever. Of course, for the types that get angry when something says “Season’s Greetings” instead of “Merry Christmas,” casting a black guy as “the white god” was pretty much guaranteed to be a nearly endless source of self-righteous bitching. I mean worshiping false idols is one thing, but a BLACK pagan? Too far, man, too far.

DEY TOOKKK YER JAWBS!

Norse mythology gets multi-cultural remake in upcoming movie titled “Thor,” Marvel studios. It’s not enough that Marvel attacks conservatives values, now mythological Gods must be re-invented with black skin.

It seems that Marvel Studios believes that white people should have nothing that is unique to themselves. An upcoming movie, based on the comic book Thor, will give the Aesir an insulting multi-cultural make-over. One of the Gods will be played by Hip Hop DJ Elba. [CoCC]

HAHAHAHA — (*checks Idris Elba’s Wikipedia page*) Aw crap, he actually is a hip hop DJ? Well that’s not a very clever insult then, is it. Anyway, the Council of Conservative Citizens (formerly the White Citizens’ Council) is organizing a boycott. And that’s a shame, because I was really looking forward to hearing what Andrew the racist speech impediment kid would have to say about it.

So this clip comes from WhitePrideTV, calling itself “The Andrew Show, a Show for White Kids.”  I saw the intro and I was all, “Hey, I’m a white kid!”  But then I watched it, and all Lights Camera Jackson‘s cousin over here (Andrew Pendergraft) could talk about was how Marmaduke is racist.  He sounded British at first, and I thought, “A British racist kid on TV?  That seems weird.  Maybe he’s South African.”  (Is that racist?  To think racist kids could only come from certain countries?)  But then I found out he’s just a kid from Arkansas with a speech impediment (he’s actually the grandson of the national Klan leader).  (*sigh*) The truth is always so much more banal.

“Then the dog and his family moves to California.  So the dad takes his dog to the dog park to meet his boss.  So there is this one spot where only certain dogs can be at.  So the one dog at the end of the movie, goes up to the dogs at their tewwitowwy and says that the dogs’ tewwitowwy shouldn’t be they-ows, and that all dogs should be they-ow.  So it’s like different races come and say that white people shouldn’t have their own land, and that other races should have it.  Now, before I go, if you have anything you want to tell me… [gives out his email address..]“

And then he just sort of trails off and plays a CCR song like a stoned substitute teacher I once had. I don’t know what offends me more, that his parents indoctrinated him with this silly, racist world view that keeps him from enjoying a modern classic such as Marmaduke, or that they managed to do it without also teaching him how to talk.  This is America, kid.  Speak English or get out.

Aww, baby's first cross burning

[via videogum]