Variety today reports that Will Smith has narrowed his next project down to two possibilities.  One of those is Men in Black 3, the most anticipated movie of six years ago.  You might wonder how bad the other one is for there to even be a choice…

Penned by Andrew Niccol, The City that Sailed revolves around a New York street magician who is unhappily separated from his young daughter. The girl, who moves to London, finds magic candles that make her wishes come true, with unintended consequences: The island of Manhattan separates from the continent and floats toward England, bringing her dad ever closer. [Variety]

Alternate title: Hope Floats. Anyway, at this stage, no one knows which way he’s leaning.  But according to my exclusive source who was behind Will Smith at a Starbucks recently, he overheard Smith telling his agent, “I whistled for some crap, and when it came near, it was full of magic candles and the title was queer!  If anything, I could say that this script was rare, but I thought, hell, I’ll do it. I’m rich bitch, who cares!”

*Roger Rabbits over to the corner*

Will Smith and his I Am Legend director Francis Lawrence are teaming up to produce a film about… a magician.  See also: Man-Witch, Sorcerer’s Apprentice, Mandrake the Magician, Harry Potter, The Prestige, The Illusionist...

Written by Andrew Niccol, The City That Sailed follows a New York City street magician whose daughter, because of family circumstances, lives in England. In exploring a lighthouse one day, the girl discovers a room with magic candles and wishes to be reunited with her father, causing the island of Manhattan to break away and drift across the Pond. [THR]

I’m guessing those family circumstances involve “my dad’s a f-cking street magician.”  But it looks like I was all wrong about this movie.  It’s actually not a magician movie, it’s a kid-makes-wish-that-comes-true-in-order-to-repair-relationship-with-father movie.  My gosh, I wonder why no one‘s ever thought of that before.  Hold on, I think I have an idea for the next family comedy: a fetish porn star switches bodies with the family dog.  Danny Masterson, Richard Karn, and Lana Wachowski star in Ruff Trade.