Last week it was announced that Lionsgate had found a director and writer for a remake of American Psycho. While most people cried foul and came out strongly against any attempt to alter such a fundamental example of Christian Bale looking bulgy in his underpants, American Psycho writer Bret Easton Ellis came out in favor of the remake, and in favor of the idea to update the setting to present-day New York. Once again, most people seem to hate that idea, given American Psycho’s association with the 80s, prompting one commenter to write “Taking American Psycho out of the 80s is like taking the fat out of bacon, the cheese off of pizza, the skin off of fried chicken…”

But here at FilmDrunk, we pride ourselves on being visionaries, which is why we went to GREAT PAINS (hours and hours, slaving over the keyboard!) to imagine what American Psycho might look like in 2011. Yes, this is one of the dumber things we’ve ever done. Enjoy. (thanks to Stallonewolf for the banner caption)

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Few posts sparked the kind of outrage that broke out after I told you about Lionsgate’s plan to produce a remake of American Psycho set in modern-day New York, from a pitch by Noble Jones. Because it’s such a comment on 80s excess, people understandably have a hard time imagining American Psycho in any other era. Sources say one angry film lover even went so far as to call Lionsgate offices, telling the receptionist, “You f*cking ugly bitch. I want you to clean your vagina.”

In the meantime, it turns out that one person who’s okay with the idea is Bret Easton Ellis, who wrote the damned thing in the first place. Not many acclaimed novelists begin tweets with “haters beware,” but then not many novelists

Haters beware: I just had a long discussion with Noble Jones, the writer/director of the “new” American Psycho movie. His take is genuine…

Although he sounds like a black superhero, Noble Jones is actually a second unit director on The Social Network. (I think he might be this guy, but it’s unclear). Meanwhile, Easton tweeted earlier (seriously, dude loves twitter, and has even more opinions about movies than me) that his casting choice for Patrick Bateman was either Miles Fisher (who?) or Scott Disick. Yes, Scott Disick as in Kourtney Kardashian’s boyfriend. I don’t know whether he can act, but he’s certainly got the dressing-like-Patrick-Bateman part down. And if you ask me, any dude who shaves his pits is probably a serial killer.

Still, I hope Rampage Jackson in The A-Team has taught us all a valuable lesson about not casting people because they seem like a real-life version of the character.

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Mary Harron‘s film adaptation of American Psycho is eleven years old now, and people have heard of it, so I suppose a remake was inevitable. While I’d be the first one to tell you that the book is better than the movie, Christian Bale captures Patrick Bateman in such a way that it’s impossible not to see his face and hear his voice when you re-read it (I’d say the same thing about the character Jack Black plays in High Fidelity). Sadly, nothing is sacred in this town, not even a hot buff dude killing whores with a chainsaw. (*old Indian sheds a single tear*)

Lionsgate has tapped Noble Jones to write and direct a reimagining of “American Psycho” that will go back to Bret Easton Ellis’ 1991 satirical novel, which Mary Harron previously adapted in 2000 as a feature starring Christian Bale.
Low-budget project, which has not yet been greenlit at Lionsgate, is currently in the early stages of development at the studio.

I asked a Lionsgate exec exactly how low a budget they were thinking, but he just told me to feed him a stray cat.

Set in Manhattan during the Wall Street boom of the late 1980s, “American Psycho” concerns the daily life of Patrick Bateman, a wealthy investment banker by day who becomes a homicidal maniac by night.
Jones pitched the project to Lionsgate several months ago and recently turned in a script that explores how Bateman would fare in modern day Gotham.
A protege of David Fincher, Jones is a commericals and music video helmer who served as second unit director for the Boston-shot scenes in Fincher’s award-winning drama “The Social Network.” [Variety]

So it’s a low-budget remake, from a first-time director, set in modern times, where Patrick Bateman probably works for Goldman-Sachs and spontaneously launches into long-form, quasi-critical analyses of Drake and Rihanna? Jesus Christ, that sounds awful. I asked a Lionsgate exec what could possible possess a person to allow something like this, and he just gritted his teeth and enunciated carefully, “Because. I want. To fit. In.”

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(art by Justin Reed — Source)

I normally like to get Comments of the Week posted Sunday night or Monday, but this week was Father’s Day and I was busy tracking down stepdads.  But to make up for my tardiness, I’ve brought a special gift.  In honor of the 20th anniversary of the release of Bret Easton Ellis’ American Psycho, Vintage has given me five copies to give away.  If you made this week’s list of Comments of the Week, email me your address and I’ll get you a copy.

Originally scheduled to be released by Simon & Schuster, the publisher cancelled publication after female employees began protesting the book and explicit material from the novel was leaked to the press. When Vintage ultimately swept up AMERICAN PSYCHO, The Los Angeles chapter of the Nation Organization for Women called or a nationwide boycott of the publisher.
Would the book cause as much controversy if it were released today? Here is an opportunity to view the changes of a city and American culture through the lens of this influential novel and its unforgettable character.

Would the book cause as much controversy if it were released today?  Maybe if it was written by Snooki, or one of Bristol Palin’s cats.  Oh, publishing.  In any case, I thought a seminal work about a charming sociopath made a perfect gift for the denizens of FilmDrunk comment land.  Here are the winners (first five to

First, Al Pacino’s awesome headband provided valuable joke fodder:

ChinoMoreno: Scarfface

La Schmoove: First you get the money, then you get the headbands, then you get the women.

Argentino: Is that Tony Bandana?

davidnowacki says: HATTICA!!! HATTICA!!!

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I hate musicals, not only because the music’s always awful and the actors always have that freakish pageant smiled frozen across their faces, but because you can make a musical out of anything.  I mean really?  Legally Blonde? But, hey, add Huey Lewis songs and a guy chopping up whores with an axe, and suddenly, a musical seems like A REALLY GOOD IDEA.  The American Psycho Musical idea has been around since 2008, but you’ll be happy to know that it’s getting closer and closer to reality.  (*flexes in the mirror while banging Japanese sex pillow*)

“Think Malcolm McDowell singing songs during ‘A Clockwork Orange.’” said Duncan Sheik, the new show’s composer, comparing his musical to a brutal attack scene in the 1971 film.

Sheik, who won a Grammy and two Tonys for writing the songs in the Broadway hit “Spring Awakening,” and playwright Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa signed on in February and have completed the first act, with a full draft expected by early next year.

“There are murders, and they are on stage in full view of the audience,” Aguirre-Sacasa said. “An ax and a chef’s knife will be used. I think there’s going to be a lot of blood.”

* Bateman lures business associate Paul Owen back to his Manhattan apartment. Bateman puts on a raincoat so his designer suit doesn’t get bloody and hacks up Owen with an ax.

* He bumps into “Tom Cruise” in the elevator of the Upper West Side building where they both live. Bateman refers to Cruise’s film “Cocktail” as “Bartender.” Cruise corrects him and points out that his nose is bleeding.

* Bateman and his yuppie friends compare business cards at a swanky Upper East Side restaurant. Noting his peers’ classier cards, Bateman becomes so jealous he finds it hard to breathe. [NYPost]

DAMMIT, BROADWAY!  I know I cruelly ridicule you on a daily basis, but please, for the love of God, just do me this one favor: Actor in a an ATM costume singing a song about wanting to be fed a stray cat. If not for me, then for yourselves.