(Full-size here — right-click and select ‘view image’. Sorry it’s such an ass pain.)

Filmdrunkard Sicksauce just sent me this picture of an American Psycho billboard.  He didn’t say where it came from, but TV2 doesn’t sound American, so it’s probably from England or Australia or one of those other countries where they get to have cool billboards.   Meanwhile, we get ones that say things like “A BARE-KNUCKLED BUCKET OF DOES.“  Good one, guys.  Did no one point out that buckets don’t have knuckles?  Or that maybe you shouldn’t compare your smart phone to a bucket?  You know what people put in buckets?  Sh*t. Horse food.  But it was totally worth it for the way it almost alliterates.

Oh, and here are some Kermit Bales because I’m always looking for an excuse to post them.

[Kermit Bales via ONTD]

(Sorry the picture wasn’t more related, Kermit Bale gets me every time)

Poor Tom Cruise can’t seem to buy good publicity these days, but that tends to happen when you’re a total weirdo.  The latest hit is an interview with American Psycho director Mary Harron, and it’s really interesting to hear her talk about her latest projects tell us what we already sort of knew about Tom Cruise.  From Blackbook Magazine [via Videogum]:

How did you and Christian Bale develop his character in American Psycho?
It was definitely a process. We talked a lot, but he was in L.A. and I was in New York. We didn’t actually meet in person a lot, just talked on the phone. We talked about how Martian-like Patrick Bateman was, how he was looking at the world like somebody from another planet, watching what people did and trying to work out the right way to behave. And then one day he called me and he had been watching Tom Cruise on David Letterman, and he just had this very intense friendliness with nothing behind the eyes, and he was really taken with this energy.

I can see that.  Especially in that one scene where Christian Bale was all, “I like to dissect girls, as long as there are no gay people there.“  By the way, I’m nominating “as long as there are no gays” for the newest meme.  “Hey, Bob, what do you say to happy hour?”  “I’m in, as long as no gays are in there!  You know me, I love to party, as long there’s no gays around!  I’ll give a you call the next time no gays are in the room.”  “Right on, man, keep f-ckin that chicken.”

This is the awesomest guy in the world. If this guy had worked in Patrick Bateman’s office in American Psycho, Bateman would’ve killed him immediately. Or at least he would’ve tried, but this guy would’ve used his card as a shield and scared Bateman back into the corner with his awesome hair.

-”It took me 25 years to design this.”
-”Yeah, it IS expensive. It’s about FOUR DOLLARS A CARD. Because of the STOCK.”
-”It doesn’t fit in a rolodex, because it doesn’t BELONG. In. A rolodex.”
-”It’s the kind of thing where your card should be SO GOOD, EVEN IF they DON’T LIKE YOU, they wouldn’t throw it out. Because it demonstrates INCREDIBLE. MARKETING. ABILITIES.”
-”Life isn’t about being liked, it’s about being EFFECTIVE.”

Long story short, your business card is lazy and impotent like the rest of the sheep. This guy’s business card leaves particles of your business card in its wind. Real business cards don’t have job titles. They go home and F the prom queen. Wait a second, does your truck have a step? I can’t even look at you.

Read the rest of this entry »

There’s no easy way to say this; American Psycho is coming to broadway.

Producers are betting Bret Easton Ellis’ novel and screen adaptation will translate to a stage musical, with original 1980s-inspired songs and familiar covers of hits from the era.

No director, book writer or songwriters have yet been brought on board the project, but producers say they’re in early talks with some potential dramatists and hope to stage by 2010 with an eye for Broadway. Musical killers have had mixed success onstage, from the acclaimed “Sweeney Todd” and tepidly received “Assassins” to the disastrous “Carrie.”

[Producer David] Johnson said that, aside from a love of the controversial 1991 Simon & Schuster bestseller, his main inspiration for staging the project is “the great economic divide in this country.” Citing his years as a Wall Street lawyer in the ’80s, he said he’s aiming for a tone that’s “very real, (though) obviously exaggerated.”  [THR]

And after all, what more effective way to satirize the death of the middle class than 30 gay dudes doing cartwheels and singing “I like to execute girls”?  Still, I confess a guy in a giant ATM costume demanding to be fed a stray cat sounds a lot cooler than Legally Blonde. Read the rest of this entry »

In-for-mer, me something something skibbidee skibbidee waay oh, he'll make ya boom boom do-owwwn….

Bret Easton Ellis' The Informers is coming to the big screen, with Gregor Jordan directing a screenplay written by Ellis and Nicholas Jarecki.  Rounding out the cast are Billy Bob Thornton (whose forehead now belongs in a wax museum), Kim Basinger, Brandon Routh (Superman), Austin Nichols (John From Cincinnati), Jon Foster (Terminator 3), Lou Pucci (Thumbsucker), and Steven Tyler's long lost daughter.   

Much as it pains me to admit enjoying anything that annoying hipsters like, I am a Bret Easton Ellis fan. Try as I might, I can't bring myself to dislike something that involves an ATM demanding to be fed a stray cat.

The Informers was first published in 1995, a collection of loosely connected short stories captures a week in Los Angeles in 1983. The stories feature movie executives, rock stars, a vampire and as Ellis’ other works, various “morally challenged characters in adventures laced with sex, drugs and violence.” 

Sounds kinda like the block parties I've been throwing. The neighborhood kids say I'm the best thing that ever happened to the Big Brothers and Big Sisters Program. 

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