Friday Free for All is that time of the week when I post videos I enjoy without having to pretend they’re somehow movie related.  Hooray, let’s laugh together and hold hands!

Ufford from WarmingGlow sent me this video earlier, and I was going to wait until the afternoon to post it like I usually do with Friday Free for All videos, but my self-restraint goes out the window in the face of dogs dressed like humans.  Yeah, so some people dressed up their poodle and trained forced it to head bob along to the instant classic, General Larry Platt’s “Pants on the Ground.“  The original was one veteran civil rights activist’s scathing indictment of hip hop culture, clothing, and jewelry.  The remix video you can tell was done by white people because the closest they could come to that was cargo shorts, a beige gift-shop hat, and a necklace from Tiffany’s.  Oh, and also because it’s a poodle.  Ha, white people.

Here’s the clip of Quentin Tarantino on American Idol.  I must say, he seems less coked up than I normally imagine him. Maybe Paula got into his stash.  Anyway, the occasion was a “movie songs”-themed episode, and in this clip, Tarantino “coaches” Adam Lambert on his rendition of “Born to Be Wild”, which Lambert decides to sing like a gay Robert Plant.  I think it would’ve been cool if when he sung the line “I like smokin’ lightnin’”, he changed “lightnin’” to “pole.” You know, just to personalize it a little bit.  The judges like that.

…grab a dude in a love embraace/…fire all of your cum at once and…/explode on his faaaace….

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American Idol judge Simon Cowell, aka Bitchtits McFlattop, is producing One Chance, a movie about Paul Potts that recently got the greenlight at Paramount.  Potts was born in 1970, five years before Pol Pot came to power in Cambodia and killed 26% of the population.  So, for the record, don’t blame his parents for being ignorant, they’re just dorky and uncreative.

An amateur opera singer and mobile-phone salesman, Potts was riddled by a streak of bad luck when, on a lark, he auditioned for "[Britain's Got] Talent" in 2007. His on-air performances ended up bowling over audiences and judges, including Cowell. He went on to win the show and become a media and YouTube sensation, eventually going on a global music tour and releasing an album. [THR]

His success so set the world aflame, in fact, that I just heard of him five minutes ago. Screenwriter Justin Zackham, who previously wrote The Bucket List will be handling the screenplay, and if he plays his cards right, this could big.  Like, From Justin to Kelly big.  From Kelly to Pol Pot, they could all it.  Because when your entire family’s been killed by the agrarian policies of a maniacal dictator, all it takes is a song.   

Mark your calendar, crazy bitches. The Sex and the City movie is out May 30, 2008.

That's right, fresh off the news that Carrie has a sASSy black ASSistant (Jennifer Hudson from American Idol), New Line has announced the release date.  Hot damn, throw in a talking animal or two and you've practically got a Jerry Bruckheimer movie.  

Seriously though, guys: if you meet a girl and she seems cool, but then you find out she loves Sex and the City – run.  Get out while you still can, before she's setting your clothes on fire or slashing your tires – not because she's mad, because she wants to get your attention. Sex and the City fanatics are the female equivalent of guys who like Entourage – not to be trusted. 

You can thank me later. 

Jennifer Hudson of Dreamgirls has joined the cast of the Sex and the City movie.  She will play Carrie Bradshaw's assistant. 

And you can bet she'll put the ass in assistant.  Mmm mmm mmm, girl.  *does that side-to-side head thing that only black girls can do*  

It's simple politics. Once you have your base of crazy white bitches and their emasculated yuppie man friends locked down, you've got to branch out.  Naturally, the first thing they thought of was a voluptuous black.  And apparently Queen Latifah was busy. 

But wait a second, Carrie Bradshaw, a weekly newspaper columnist, has an assistant?  I'm the most important movie blogger in the universe, and I don't have an assistant. 

Unless you count my hangover, which doesn't so much assist as it does make me want to shit.