Amanda Seyfried is currently busy shooting Lovelace, a biopic about a lady famous for shoving giant penises down her throat, but despite that, Seyfried, who has already done topless scenes in Chloe (ahem), says she’ll never do “full frontal.”

PRUDE ALERT, PRUDE ALERT! (*rings bell, adds more Everclear to jungle juice*) Well la di da, Princess Too Cool to Free Muff. What do you think, Burnsy, should we let her into the party? Seems like she might be too uptight to enjoy it.

Amanda Seyfried covers Glamour’s March 2012 issue and opens up about her personal life, competing with other twenty-something actresses for roles and why she’ll probably never go full-frontal for a film — even for one about a porn star.

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Now that she’s preparing to tackle the load role of a lifetime as porn actress Linda Lovelace, Amanda Seyfried is taking another step in proving that she and Rachel McAdams did not get sucked into Lindsay Lohan’s vortex of crazy on the set of Mean Girls. Now she’s displaying her leading lady chops in the upcoming, Gone, which is apparently a story about a girl who freaks out and yells a lot.

Seyfried plays a victim of attempted murder trying to live a normal life after some dude supposedly threw her down a hole to die. The problem is that nobody can verify her story and everybody thinks she’s crazy. Then one day her sister goes missing and she’s like, “Oh snap, it’s that dude again,” so she goes out looking for people in holes. Maybe I didn’t really watch the trailer after the jump and instead spent most of the last hour looking for GIFs of Seyfried and Julianne Moore from the movie Chloe.

Sue me.

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Various versions of a Linda Lovelace biopic have been flouncing around town for years, including one version that was to star Lindsay Lohan (and was thus doomed from the outset) and another one that was set to star James Franco and Kate Hudson. Whatever discussions with Franco and Hudson that were going on have apparently since fallen through — I imagine a producer pulled the plug after he actually saw a picture of Kate Hudson — because now the same project, from Howl directors Rob Epstein and Jeffrey Friedman, is in talks with Amanda Seyfried and Peter Sarsgaard. “Hitler Youth Goes Porno,” they could call it. Hey, that’d be a great idea for a porno.

[from Variety]
W. Merritt Johnson and Andy Bellin wrote the script [for "Lovelace"], which is based on Eric Danville’s book “The Complete Linda Lovelace.”
Peter Sarsgaard, who was last seen as the villain in “Green Lantern,” is in early talks to portray Lovelace’s pornographer husband Chuck Traynor.
Lovelace is the infamous star of the 1972 porn flick “Deep Throat,” which is one of the highest-grossing independent films of all time. She was just a Florida schoolgirl named Linda Boreman when she met Traynor, a would-be filmmaker who transformed her into a world-famous sex star.
After years of being victimized, Lovelace quit the business and divorced Traynor, who she accused of taking advantage of her naivete and coercing her into porn and prostitution.

“Lovelace” is expected to start production in January, the same month that helmer Matthew Wilder’s rival project, “Inferno,” is slated to go before cameras [the one that was supposed to star Lindsay Lohan at on point. -Ed]. Based on Lovelace’s autobiography “Ordeal,” [Laziest. Memoir title. Ever.] film stars Malin Akerman and Matt Dillon as Lovelace and Traynor, as well as Paz de la Huerta in a supporting role. [Ooh, I wonder if she'll get naked.]

Amanda Seyfried is almost as weird a casting choice as Kate Hudson. Lindsay Lohan at least had the looking-like-a-freckly-slut-who-smokes-a-lot part down. Seyfried could definitely pull off “wide-eyed schoolgirl,” but probably not in that the way that they mean.

This is a little game I like to play called "spot the broody love interest."

At long last, we have the trailer for Red Riding Hood, starring Amanda Seyfried in a “gothic horror reimagining” of Little Red Riding Hood, from the director of Twilight and the writer of Secret Dwarf Hooker. GRRR, WEREWOLVES AND LOVE TRIANGLES! It’s set during my favorite time period, the alternate Middle Ages where hot, smooth-faced young dudes wore lots of hair gel.

Seyfried plays Valerie, a beautiful young woman torn between two men. She is in love with a brooding outsider, Peter (Shiloh Fernandez), but her parents have arranged for her to marry the wealthy Henry (Max Irons). Unwilling to lose each other, Valerie and Peter are planning to run away together when they learn that Valerie’s older sister has been killed by the werewolf that prowls the dark forest surrounding their village.  As the death toll rises with each moon, Valerie begins to suspect that the werewolf could be someone she loves. [Apple]

Oh my gosh, you guys, you think the wolf will try to bang the pretty white girl? 

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Twilight director Catherine Hardwicke’s next project is a “gothic horror reimagining” of Little Red Riding Hood (Red Riding Hood) starring Amanda Seyfried, Julie Christie, Gary Oldman, and the recently cast Lukas Haas.

David Leslie Johnson (Orphan) [SECRET DWARF HOOKER!! -Ed.] wrote the script, which is set in a medieval village haunted by a werewolf. [Variety]

But how will they update this for a contempo audience?  Will the werewolf fight vampires?  Will he embody ethnic temptation?? WILL HE HAVE CHISELED WOLF ABS????

The film is being described as a “gothic horror re-imagining” and stars Amanda Seyfried as the titular character, but a wolf isn’t the only thing she’s got to worry about– Seyfried’s character is caught in the midst of a love triangle. She’s engaged to a guy played by Max Irons, but also has a thing for Shiloh Fernandez’s character, an orphaned woodcutter. Then there’s Julie Christie as Red Riding Hood’s grandmother and Gary Oldman as Father Solomon, the guy in charge of finding and killing that pesky wolf. Haas is on board to play the village priest. [CinemaBlend]

HOORAY FOR LOVE TRIANGLES!  But let’s be honest, one of these guys has to turn out to be the werewolf.  Young girls aren’t going to watch a werewolf movie unless the hairy wolfman tries to f*ck the pretty white girl.  Well, not “f*ck” maybe, not until they’re married.  Before that, they’ll have to settle for blowing a house down.