Hey, girl.  Here’s the trailer for All Good Things, directed by Andrew Jarecki (brother of Why We Fight documentarian Eugene).  It was originally supposed to be released by the Weinstein Company, but they decided weren’t going to release it.  I forgive them though, girl.  Jarecki bought back the rights, and now Magnolia is doing a limited release and putting it out on OnDemand.  See, girl?  Everything happens for a reason.  Look, I picked you a flower.  Anyway, it stars me and Kirsten Dunst.  Haha, her baby tooth tickles!

Inspired by the most notorious missing person’s case in New York history, ALL GOOD THINGS is a love story and murder mystery set against the backdrop of a New York real estate dynasty in the 1980s. Produced and directed by Andrew Jarecki (director of the Academy Award-nominated doc Capturing the Friedmans and producer of Catfish), the film was inspired by the story of Robert Durst, scion of the wealthy Durst family. Mr. Durst was suspected but never tried for killing his wife Kathie who disappeared in 1982 and was never found. The film stars Ryan Gosling, Kirsten Dunst and Frank Langella as the powerful patriarch, and captures the emotion and complexity of this real-life unsolved mystery. [ThePlaylist]

When they said Durst, I thought I was playing that guy from the Limp Bizkit band.  Their music’s a little rough for me, girl, but he seems so tough and scary, I thought it’d be just like Halloween! Later I found out they were different, but I stayed on anyway because I think commitment is important. Anyway, what are you going to dress as, girl?  I think I’m going to be a ninja.  I even bought a little sword for Patches.  Haha, stop licking me, Patches, that’s not what ninjas do!  Oh, Patches, you’re the silliest.

“Hey girl, cavalier is a ballet term. Haha, I know how much you love ballet humor.”

FilmDrunk favorite Ryan “Baby Goose” Gosling was spotted taking ballet classes recently in what many are calling the least surprising story of the year. E! Online News reported that the star of the Notebook and Lars and the Real Girl was seen leaving The Edge dance studio in Hollywood, after which he stopped to chat with his adoring fans, and for the sake of our own lore, he saved some kittens from being drowned by Al Qaeda.

Take it away, guy who makes me feel great about my name, Ted Casablanca:

Now, we knew he was taking classes for his “posture” (pssh), but that was, like, months ago. That means the guy is either taking more ballet for an upcoming movie (which we hear is true), or he’s just fallen in love with the glitz and glamour of grand jetés and pirouettes (which we so wish was truer). Wonder which it is.

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Hey, girl.  Baby Goose is in a movie.  It’s called All Good Things and he stars opposite Kirsten Dunst. Haha, her baby teeth tickle!

Set against the extravagance and excess of New York City in the 80s, the film is about the heir to a New York real estate fortune whose wife disappears, inspired by the life of Robert Durst. David Marks (Gosling), the son of a powerful real estate tycoon, marries a beautiful [*stifles laugh, squirts milk out nose*] working class student, Katie (Dunst). Together they flee the city for country life in Vermont – only to be lured back by David’s father (Frank Langella). Upon their return, Katie goes back to medical school and begins to make a life for herself. But as Katie becomes increasingly independent, David mysteriously turns more violent and controlling. Family secrets are slowly revealed, just as Katie disappears without a trace.  [Wiki]

Hey, girl, I have a secret: I picked you some flowers!  I put them on your bed.  Haha, I love you, color splashes.  Hey, girl, I have another secret.  I’m going to make you disappear later.  Because I’m in the mood for hugs!  But only if you want to, girl.

“All Good Things” is the title of my diary.

Hey girl.  I came here with my friend, baby sloth, to let you know that it’s okay to take it slow.  Haha, get it, girl?  Because he’s a sloth?  Just kidding, girl, that’s not even really me in the picture, it’s Anderson Cooper.  That’s photoshop, girl.  But I still mean what I said about taking it slow.

Anyway, girl, here’s some pictures of me on the set of my new movie, All Good Things. Haha, they let me play with a dog.  And no, I didn’t mean Kirsten Dunst, that’s really mean, you guys.

Hey girl, I wore my other tuxedo shirt.

[picture source = here, thanks to RoboPanda for the tip, style bite from fyeahryangosling]