Sandra Bullock showed up to the Razzie Awards in Hollywood Saturday night.  They gave her a trophy, and in return she gave them All About Steve DVDs.  What a bitch.

“I think this is an extraordinary award.  I didn’t realize that this is the only award in Hollywood where if you say you’ll show up, you get it…
Something tells me you all didn’t watch the film.  Because I wouldn’t be here if you’d all actually watched the film and understood what we were doing here.”

Her intent aside, she just busted them on the two things that have always bugged me about the Razzies.  Well done, Sandy.  Anyway, then she said she was giving everyone DVDs and…

“I will show up next year, IF, you promise to watch the movie, and really consider if it was, really and truly, the worst performance.  If you’re willing to do this, I will come back next year and give back the Razzie.

“I also heard over the wire that Brad Cooper and myself won best couple.  Again, if you had seen the film, it’s pretty much a film about a woman stalking a man.  That doesn’t really set up the premise of a loving couple.  So to give us the worst couple award, is kind of a ‘Duh.’”

Two things: That it doesn’t really set up the premise of a loving couple is kind of why everyone thought the movie was so crappy, wasn’t it?  I mean, it was kind of weird being asked to laugh at an autistic woman who chokes on her seatbelt when she tries to attack Brad Cooper, no?  Secondly, as far as people confusing stalking for a loving relationship… have you heard of Twilight?

Post script: This is neither here nor there, but I think my favorite YouTube Comment was from “angloempire” who writes, “get in the kitchen you slut.”  Ah, YouTube.

[video via BestWeekEver]

(I was trying to get a screencap of Sandra Bullock looking really retarded, but I couldn’t do any better than the actual poster)

According to a recent poll of theater owners, 2009 was the year when Sandra Bullock swooped down and stole America’s heart like an eagle stealing a BlackBerry.

In the eyes of U.S. movie theater owners, Sandra Bullock shined as 2009′s top Hollywood star at the boxoffice.  Quigley Publishing Co.’s annual list released on Thursday of top money making stars, based on a poll of hundreds of theater executives, had Bullock beating out such stars as George Clooney and Denzel Washington, on the strength of her roles in “The Proposal” and “The Blind Side.”
List does not rank stars only on how much cash their films made, but on what theater owners say about who attracts audiences on their star power alone.
For instance, “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” was the top movie at U.S. and Canada boxoffices in 2009 with more than $400 million, but many in Hollywood attribute that to the appeal of the franchise itself and the toys it’s based on.
“Public Enemies” star Johnny Depp came in at No. 2 on Quigley’s top 10 list, followed by Matt Damon, George Clooney, Robert Downey Jr., Tom Hanks, Meryl Streep, Brad Pitt, Shia LaBeouf and Denzel Washington. [THR]

Sandra Bullock is so thoroughly unspectacular that you couldn’t possibly have an opinion about this.  Remember that South Park episode where the boys get diagnosed with ADHD and put on Ritalin, and the next thing you know they’re at a Phil Collins concert?  Sandra Bullock’s movies are like that.

Diary of a Mad Black Woman, 9-12-09:  Dear Diary: I just watched Tyler Perry’s I Can Do Bad All by Myself.  The story was quite life affirming.  I leave the theater with a newfound perspective on life and the calm that comes with it.  Leaving the parking lot now, hoping to stop by the church social.  Hey! A guy just cut me off, even though I clearly had the right of way.  I’M A KILL YOU YOU STUPID MUTHAF*CKA!

Aaaanyway, this weekend, black folks proved once again that they like watching dudes cross dress almost as much as the British.  Tyler Perry always kills it even though I’ve never seen a movie of his (though my grandpa likes them — true story).  His I Can Do Bad All by Myself was number one by a large margin this weekend, earning $24 million and $10,656 per screen, the highest per screen average since Inglourious Basterds three weeks ago.

All About Steve‘s second weekend drop of 48% is shockingly low for a film whose best reviews were basically, “I’m gonna play devil’s advocate here and say maaaybe this film isn’t the cinematic equivalent of a gorilla fingerpainting with its own feces.”  Still, at $21 mil total, it’s far from a hit (thank God).  Now, can we stop it with the Eve-Steve puns already?  We get it, Adam & Steve went to see Stevita on Christmas Steve.  It’s been done.  Next person who makes one, I’m coming to your house to play “Steve of Destruction” on a ukulele while douching with Summer’s Steve.

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The Final Destination won the weekend again with a lackluster $12.4 mil, down 54.6% from its first weekend, which is actually pretty good for a crappy horror film.  Do we even have to still keep calling these “horror films”?  That seems like giving them too much credit.  How about “loud noise flicks”.

All About Steve pulled in $11.2 million for number two, which is sad considering it is, to my knowledge, the worst reviewed film of the year.  Jesus, could they make the poster look any more like Simple Jack? What the f’ck is she doing?  Why the f’ck is she holding an umbrella?  Who the f’ck’s idea was this? You’ve done it again, Fox execs.  Here, have a  herring and a red ball to balance on your snout.

Elsewhere, Inglourious Basterds landed in the three spot (which your mom lets me do sometimes) and should cross $100 million in a few weeks.

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Opening this week:

Extract
Comes from Mike Judge, who says he wrote it on spec right after he finished Office Space. was supposed to catch a screening on Tuesday but then I screwed up and missed it.  It’s a good thing I’m not a cancer doctor.

All About Steve
I’m sure this will be good because it was tracking 0.0% on rottentomatoes up until a few hours ago (now it’s at 5%).  You can also tell it’s going to be good because it comes from Fox and THE TITLE IS ‘ALL ABOUT STEVE.’  I think they should’ve just gone with the original title, Monkey Smearing Sh’t on Its Face.

Gamer
From Crank 2 directors Neveldine and Taylor, comes a film that’s pretty much like Running Man, except the inmates are characters in a video game.  This is the male equivalent of a rom-com script.  Additional trivia: Milo Ventimiglia plays “Rick Rape.”

The Carriers
Chris Pine and Piper Perabo run from a virus.  I don’t care enough about this movie to form more words about it.