"Know how I know you're gay?"

Scarlett Johansson, who recently cut her hair to look like that lesbian from the workout show, is nevertheless set to play a slutty, sexy alien in an upcoming movie from Sexy Beast writer-director Jonathan Glazer. Bet he’s pissed he already used that title.

That is what FilmNation is selling at AFM, launching Under the Skin, a sci-fi drama.  According to the company, “Johansson plays an alien on earth, disguised as the perfect aesthetic form of a mesmerizing woman. She scours remote highways and desolate scenery looking to use her greatest weapon to snare human prey — her voracious sexuality.”
“She is deadly efficient, but over time becomes drawn to and changed by the complexity of life on earth. With this new found humanity and weakening alien resolve, she finds herself on a collision course with her own kind. Taking her point of view throughout, the film presents a unique look at our world through alien eyes.” [THR]

So… pretty much exactly like Species, then?  But hornier, and with bigger boobs?  And the alien eventually decides she wants to stop killing and just concentrate on doin’ it?  I admit, this is starting to sound like a really good idea.

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This is the trailer for Skyline, a $10 million independent film directed by the Strause Brothers, who shot much of it in their condo but also have the benefit of owning an effects company that does work on big-budget films.  It appears to be about an invasion of aliens who get super pissed when they catch you checking out their headlights and vaccuum you up — a penchant for vacuuming being a trait common to aliens both illegal and outer space.  Anyway, it promises to be a real human drama, by which I mean the characters are always saying things like, “GET OUT OF THERE!”, “RUN!”, and “EXPOSIIITIOOOOON!!!” (*shakes fist at sky*)

A few of my favorite TubeChop moments after the jump.

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Amidst all the Hentei murals and Vince Mancini semen, a little something extra will be draped across the walls of Comic-Con this weekend: banners for Director Jonathan Liebesman’s (Darkness Falls, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning) alien epic Battle: Los Angeles. Robopanda first reported on this movie last year, when the production had decided to cheat Louisiana for Los Angeles just to f**k with everyone. The film stars everyone’s favorite chin, Aaron Eckhart, along with the world’s most terrifying female, Michelle “I Can’t Tell If I’m Sexually Attracted To You Or Not” Rodriguez. The two play members of a group of Marines whom Eckhart must lead through the streets of a Lindsey Lohan extraterrestrial ridden Los Angeles.

The viral site went online yesterday, driving traffic to the web address scrawled across the film’s banner ads, ReportThreats.org. From the main page viewers then link directly to a web page named W.A.T.C.H. or Worldwide Assessment of Threats Concerning Humankind, offering mock-documentary footage, interviews and photographs. Hey, wake up, d**khead. I’ve got a block quote below.

The W.A.T.C.H. site, as well as the banners on display at Comic-Con, are all focused on a few actual real-life historical mysterious alien events, including the pinnacle Battle of Los Angeles event in LA in 1942 (you can read all about it at that link). The site contains a huge collection of “Expert Analysis” videos, links to a bunch of “Evidence” articles and “Eyewitness Testimonials.” Beyond all that we’re not sure if this will lead to any major viral events in San Diego or if it’s just the start of the viral for Battle: Los Angeles and only the first of many websites we’ll see related to these creepy historical extraterrestrial events. [Firstshowing.net]

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(Fun for the whole family while the women do the dishes)

In the new Hollywood, where projects get greenlit based on corporate partnerships and licensing opportunities, the fun part is watching people try to tell a story where the jumping off point is a board game, and the goal is a story so meaningless it couldn’t possibly offend anyone.  Hasbro and Universal are partnering on a film based on Battleship.  Of course, Battleship the game was about ships fighting each other.  But who will fight whom??? The good guys, that’s easy, they have to be an international coalition, like the new G.I. Joe.  But who would they fight?  You can’t sell it to a country you blow up!  Solution?  According to Latino Review… aliens.

Back in Sept it was reported that Universal Pictures is doing a live-action pic based on Hasbro’s naval combat board game “Battleship” with Peter Berg at the helm. Universal already has a set date to release the film on August 5, 2011.

Berg himself has said that the film is a contemporary story of an international five-ship fleet engaged in a very dynamic, violent and intense battle, BUT he didn’t say anything or give any details about the enemy. THAT WAS TILL NOW.

A source has confirmed with me that the enemies will be ALIENS!

You sunk my flying saucer!  Hey, isn’t the whole premise of the game battleships vs. battleships?  Does that mean the aliens will have battleships in this?  And they can look sort of humanoid?  In fact, I think it will save everyone a lot of time if we just make the aliens look like the Japs.

A lot of people are predicting Neill Blomkamp’s District 9 to be the sleeper hit of the summer, and now we’ve got a full-length trailer. (Trailer also available in HD at Yahoo)

Thirty years ago, aliens made first contact with Earth. Humans waited for the hostile attack, or the giant advances in technology. Neither came. Instead, the aliens were refugees, the last survivors of their home world. The creatures were set up in a makeshift home in Johannesburg, South Africa’s District 9 as the world’s nations argued over what to do with them. [Yahoo]

The film was shot documentary-style, and as you can see from the trailer, robots also seem to factor into the plot somehow.  Anyway, the humans fear the aliens, so they marginalize them from society and control their movements, and the aliens’ frustrations eventually makes them violent, which only proves to the humans they were right to stick them in ghettoes all along. Anyone else smell a parable for Palestinians, or some other ethnic minority group?  Then again, the director’s South African, so it might just be an allegory for how much he hates black people.  They can get away with that in South Africa.  Why?  Diplomatic immunity.
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