It’s Tuesday, so it must be time for another installment of FilmDrunk’s favorite game – Will Gemma Arterton’s Butt Be In An Alien Prequel Or Won’t It? Oh, we’ve never played that game? That’s because Vince always wants to play Tune In Tokyo. But today we shall play, because sources are reporting that Gemma is in talks to star in Ridley Scott’s Alien prequels. That’s right, plural on the prequel nod, which means we’re in for a slew of new acid-spewing space monsters, which is also Lamar Odom’s pet name for Khloe Kardashian.

According to Hollywood.com:

The actress told the British paper The Sunday Times that she was in discussions with Ridley Scott about starring in the upcoming prequels to his successful 1979 film, Alien. Supposedly, Scott was so impressed with Arterton’s talent after seeing her in The Disappearance of Alice Creed that he wanted to meet her in person to talk about the main female role. And that’s not too surprising, considering Arterton’s character spent the majority of Alice Creed nude and getting physically abused.

*adds The Disappearance of Alice Creed to Netflix 14 times*

And if there’s one thing we know as certain in this life, it’s that we can take actors and actresses at their words. So if Gemma says she’s in talks to star in the Alien prequels, then I assume that we can trust her… or can we? LIES! ALL LIES AFTER THE JUMP!

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We’ve already heard about Clash of the Titans and Harry Potter, you can now add Warner Bros’ Green Lantern and Zack Snyder’s Sucker Punch to the list of movies hurriedly converted to 3D.  Said studio execs, “Could you also make the Green Lantern a giant blue kitty?  Audiences really seem to respond to that.”  Meanwhile, /Film hears from Ridley Scott’s art director that his Alien prequel will also shoot in 3D.

And why not?  The only person who loves 3D more than Hollywood execs is your mom’s orifices.  3D may not make sense in every case, or even most cases, but it allows them to charge you five bucks more for a ticket, and that’s all they care about.  Money money money.  I’m not even exaggerating; Harvey Weinstein would cut a kitten’s belly open if he thought there was a nickel in it.  True story, I’ve seen him do it.  Afterwards, they fed it to George Lucas.

Well this is big news.  It’s been rumored for a while that Fox wanted to do an Alien remake with Ridley Scott producing.  But today Variety reports that the plan is actually for a prequel, and Ridley Scott will direct.  To put that in perspective, it’s basically like if Robert Plant agreed to sing for a Led Zeppelin cover band.  Somehow Ridley Scott went from being the guy who turned down both Alien sequels to the guy who’ll make prequels, movies about Monopoly – whatever studio execs want. (*whispers*) I think he might be a replicant.

The film will be a direct prequel to Scott’s original 1979 film. This leads me to believe that the film will tell the story of the crew of the empty ship that is discovered in the first film. In a 2002 interview, Scott wanted to return “to where the alien creatures were first found and explain how they were created.” [/Film]

You know what are super cool?  Sharks.  You know what’s not that interesting?  The story of how sharks were created.  Jesus made the aliens, just like he designed Kirk Cameron’s banana and was the original sharkitecht behind shark week.  Origin stories are stupid.

Trailer for the original Alien.  Gotta love the out of context cat and the subliminal shot of girl in panties.

Bloody-disgusting is claiming a reliable source who says that a remake of Ridley Scott’s 1979 classic Alien is on the way.  From 20th Century Fox.  Of course.

The plan is to stick with the original concept of only one alien on the ship.  Michael Costigan, Ridley Scott and even Tony Scott are all on board to produce and have tapped Carl Rinsch [hee hee!] to get beyond the camera [sic] and bring a new Ripley to the big screen.  Who is Carl Rinsch? I’m being told he’s a commercial/music video director and does work for Scott Free Productions, who is also producing the remake. [B-D]

If the idea that Ridley Scott is producing makes you feel better, keep in mind, Ridley Scott is also making a movie about Monopoly.  And it’s Fox.  $20 bucks says Ripley is played by Jessica Alba and the alien raps.

Don’t be fooled by the cute baby I used in the banner pic, this story is horrifying.  A 30-year-old plumber in England recently had the EMBRYO OF HIS PARASITIC TWIN EXPLODE FROM HIS STOMACH.

Gavin Hyatt, 30, explained that the lump forced its way out after lying inside his abdomen since he was born. Medics said the 4cm growth was a parasitic twin that died in the womb early in their mother’s pregnancy.

An operation at Oxford’s John Radcliffe Hospital was canceled at the last minute and he went home. But later he felt a stabbing pain near his belly button. Lifting his shirt, he saw he was bleeding as the lump pushed through the skin. At that point he drove himself to his local surgery.

Mr Hyatt, a former firefighter, from Witney, Oxfordshire, said: “Four hospital doctors had previously examined me and were all puzzled by the lump. “Some thought it was a cyst, others an in-grown hair. Then one said it could be my undeveloped identical twin that I absorbed at a very early stage. I feel absolutely fine now but it has not sunk in yet that I could have had a twin brother. I have him in a jar at home and I call him little Gav. I haven’t told many people. I feel like a bit of a freak.” [Telegraph]

And it was there for 30 years.  Damn.  This reminds me of the half-eaten sandwich I found under your mom’s tit once, but even that couldn’t have been there longer than six months. (*adjusts monocle*)