(“ALICE IS SUPPOSED TO BE WAY YOUNGER.”)

Off-kilter font, super pale chicks with cleavage, Johnny Depp in makeup… yep, looks like a Tim Burton movie.  This is the newest trailer for Alice in Wonderland (Mia Wasikowska as Alice, Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter, plus Anne Hathaway, Crispin Glover, Helena Bonham Carter, and that fat weirdo from Little Britain), just released by Spike TV.  It’s more or less the same as the last one, but with a little more footage.  It looks to be a faithful adaptation of Lewis Carroll’s tale about how doing drugs is awesome, originally composed for a 9-year-old girl. It sold far better than Carrol’s next two books, This Will be Our Little Secret and No One Likes a Tattletale.

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UPDATE: I originally posted this a couple days ago, but the picture quality wasn’t that great.  Now it’s up in HD.

After the jump I’ve got the first trailer for Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland, starring Mia Wasikowska (Alice), Johnny Depp (Mad Hatter), Helena Bonham Carter (Red Queen), Crispin Glover (Knave of Hearts) and Anne Hathaway (White Queen). The quality’s not the greatest and it’s super CGI-heavy, but my favorite part is when Alice drinks a potion and she starts to shrink and her dress falls off.  Excuse me, waiter?  My date will have what she’s having.
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When the publicity shot of Anne Hathaway as the White Queen in Alice in Wonderland hit the web a few days ago, I thought it looked like someone was having a a  fun with those old anal sex rumors again.  So I made a few versions of my own and challenged you to do the same.  Here are the results.

Ones I made:

Submissions:

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As if it wasn’t bad enough that everybody reported that made-up quote about Anne Hathaway loving anal sex last year, the latest publicity still from Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland depicts her (as the White Queen) gazing longlingly at a gerbil.  Or maybe it’s a dormouse.  What am I, a zoologist?  All I know is that when someone eyes something small and furry like that, it’s probably because they want to put it in their butt.  Oh, and, uh, I made these for fun.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to get back to Algebra.

[more pictures of Alice in Wonderland people holding animals over at Empire]

UPDATE: Announcing: the first Annual Anne Hathaway Anal Sex Photoshop Contest – Send your (rear) entries to LANCE@FILMDRUNK.COM

It would’ve been nice if Yahoo had gone live with these new pictures from Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland this morning with the others so I could’ve posted them all at once.  It would also have been cool if the smallest picture wasn’t Mia Wasikowska as Alice, the one whose picture I most wanted to see (she just seems pretty and nice).  But alas, God hates me.

The other picture is Matt Lucas (from Little Britain – woof) as both Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. At first I was really impressed with the makeup job they did on him, but then I realized that’s pretty much what he already looks like.  I heard Little Britain was a big hit in the U.K. and I tried to watch it a couple times, but it just seemed like a more annoying, male version of the Tracey Ullman show.  I didn’t really see the appeal, but it’s yet more evidence for my thesis, British People Are Inexplicably Fascinated by Cross-Dressing.