I like Jerry Bruckheimer movies, because they’re always exactly like some other movie that came out a few years before, but with more special effects and a protagonist who refuses to believe the premise. “Whoa!  What’s going on?! Why are all these special effects going on around me?!  I’m just a physics nerd/chemical superfreak/mild-mannered treasure hunter!”

The Sorcerer’s Apprentice is Wanted meets Harry Potter (like, exactly) and it stars Nic Cage as the mentor, in a role he was born to play.  Meanwhile, Jay Baruchel is the protagonist, but instead of gradually learning to do magic the Harry Potter way, he hides under the table a lot and makes nasally glib comments like, “Well I guess that was a pretty big explosion.”

And, just to make my hatred complete, that useless c*ck bubble had to cast Alfred Molina as the bad guy.  Sick bastard.  That’s like buying a big, tasty California burrito and hiding it in a bucket of sh*t.

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After the jump, I’ve got the full poster and trailer for Nothing Like the Holidays.  Debra Messing accompanies her new husband John Leguizamo home to celebrate Christmas with his family and, ¡Ay Dios mio!  They’re all Mexican Puerto Rican!  (Seriously, does Hollywood have something against Mexicans?  “Mexican” just has a nicer ring to it.)

I’m not gonna lie, despite the cheesy concept and horrible poster and the fact that it’s a Christmas movie, it doesn’t look that awful.  John Leguizamo, Alfred Molina, and Freddy Rodriguez are all fine actors.  But still, no Danny Trejo?  He better show up during the climactic dinner scene.

“Deedju meess me, puto?” 
*pulls out a shotgun and blasts Molina in the chest*

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