It’s a photoshop, but I don’t care. |Reddit|

MORNING LINKS
A Historian’s Take On Lincoln |Film Drunk|

UPROXX’s 10 Best Albums Of 2012 |UPROXX|

Aaaaaaaand We’ve Found The Most Insane Christmas Commercial Of The Year |Warming Glow|

Amazingly, Lenny Kravitz’s scarf is NOT Photoshopped. |UpscaleHype|

Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Super Secret Cover Spoiler: Kate Upton Is Hot |With Leather|

Before Hollywood Ruins Them: 16 Sci-Fi and Supernatural Scripts On The 2012 Black List
|Gamma Squad|

11 Beastie Boys Songs Everyone Should Know |Smoking Section|

Well Done, Packers Fan |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

Celebrity sideboob. Need I say more? |theChive|

30 Things We Learned About Kate Upton In 2012 |Buzzfeed|

James Franco Says Lindsay Lohan Keeps Failing At Life Because She Gets Book Deals. Why Not?
|The Superficial|

5 Model Train Sets That Won’t Fit Under the Christmas Tree |Mental Floss|

Megan Fox Is Back To Saying Stupid Things |IDLYITW|

The ‘So You Want To Watch A Holiday Movie’ Flowchart |HuffPost Comedy|

It’s A Very ‘Walking Dead’ Christmas |Screen Junkies|

Quiz: Guess The Real Lifetime Christmas Movies |College Humor|

Weird Goats Compilation |Clip Nation|

Five Most Audience-Loathed Characters of Recent Cinema |Unreality|

Ranking The 20 Best Holiday “SNL” Sketches |Pajiba|

Watch This Pug Hop Up the Stairs on All Fours Like a Wind-up Toy |Hypervocal|

22 Images That Seem To Defy Physics |Smosh|

It’s been a good year for amputation on TV |Fark|

The 30 Most Viral Letters and Notes of 2012 |Brobible|

Home Alone (With A Vengeance) |High Definite|

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Making a Tarzan movie sounds like a horrible idea, but if you’re going to do it, you might as well cast a tall, handsome, Swedish version of Ryan Gosling that loves to party like Alexander Skårsgard. I’m not saying he’s handsome, but theaters should probably invest in a gutter system to collect all the melted panties. Skårsgåååård is reportedly director David Yates’ (Harry Potter) first choice for the role, and it’s nice to see handsome people finally catch a break.

An imposing physical presence at 6’4″, Skarsgard is Yates’ choice to play the vine-swinging hero, sources tell Variety.

Skarsgard doesn’t have an offer and the studio hasn’t finalized any casting decisions for the film, which has yet to go before the studio’s greenlight committee. However, with a summer start date being planned, it is expected to be greenlit before the end of the year, as WB is high on Yates and wouldn’t tie up his schedule with a movie it has no intention of making.

Should Yates convince Warners brass to sign off on Skarsgard’s casting, the Swedish thesp would play John Clayton III, known around the world as the famous “ape man” Tarzan. Years after he’s re-assimilated into society, he’s asked by Queen Victoria to investigate the goings-on in the Congo. Tarzan teams with an ex-mercenary named George Washington Williams to save the Congo from a fierce warlord who controls a massive diamond mine.

Wait wait wait, so it starts with Tarzan wearing a suit talking to the queen, and he has to go back to the jungle  and keep from going native? Holy crap, this is like the movie version of Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer. JUST TAKE MY TEN DOLLARS ALREADY! Oh, and did I mention it’ll be a 19th century colonial interracial buddy-cop movie where one of them is an ape man? Because sh*t yeah, that just happened:

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The 109th American International Toy Fair took place this past weekend in New York City, and among the offerings were new action figures related to the upcoming films G.I. Joe: Retaliation, Battleship and The Avengers. Better luck next year, The Descendents Nerf rocket launcher.

On hand to debut their toys were some of the stars of the movies mentioned, including Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Alexander Skårsgard and Chris Evans. But for the toymakers that didn’t have the luxury of B-list actors hamming it up for the cameras, choosing the toys to bank their futures on is all about what your Cheetos-inhaling brats are into from one minute to the next.

“Toymakers continue to innovate at the speed of light to keep up with trends in other areas – from pop culture to technology – because they know that kids want to be a part of the mix and mimic what’s happening in the world around them,” said Adrienne Appell, TIA’s in-house trend expert. “The toy industry draws upon economic and birth rate data to determine price points and product lines, which accounts for the prevalence this year of big-ticket items and toys for infants and pre-school children.” (Via Market Watch)

That’s dead on. In fact, over the weekend I visited my two-year old niece and purchased her the Kim Kardashian Play-Doh Ass Factory. It’s a far cry from my Pogo Ball.

Not much has changed, though, when it comes to the action figure, which is why these stars were so excited to check out their likeness in a 6-inch figurine, or as it’s referred to in the biz, a Tom Cruise.

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Oh, Alexander ScårfGod, you’re my favorite actor. Leave it to Meekus to remind us that models help people, Derek! They make them feel good about themselves. They also show them how to dress cool, and wear their scarves in interesting ways.

Seriously though, I didn’t even know you could tie a scarf that way.

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Battleship (BASED ON THE CRITICALLY-ACCLAIMED BOARD GAME!) has a new trailer out, and after watching it, I’ve come up with an awesome new slogan: Battleship — It’s not the SIZE of the ship, it’s the ‘splosions in the ocean! (The motion of the ‘splosion?) No, no, please, you can have that one, free of charge. Really, it’s my pleasure.

Which is to say, yeah, it’s still about alien battleships that jump. But it’s also got Admiral Rihanna (yes, Rihanna plays a naval officer. Yes, Rihanna the singer) dispensing folksy wisdom. “MAH DADDY DUN TOLE ME DA ALIEEN GONE COME BACK ONE DAY! HE SAY WE AIN’T ALONE!” Oh, Magic Negro. What would our action films be without you?

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