Wow, that’s one of the more esoteric headlines I’ve ever written.  To break it down for you, Allan Loeb is the awesom-o-like script machine behind such films as 21, The Dilemma, and Kevin James’ “Martial Farts” (working title), and he’s incredibly successful.  But now there’s a new guy peddling really-warmed-over-sounding ideas on the block, and his name is Daniel H. Wilson.  Formerly known as a Robotics Ph.D. candidate who’d written cutesy coffee table-ish books that look like they took about an afternoon to write, such as How to Survive a Robot Uprising, and Bro-Jitsu: The Martial Art of Sibling Smackdown, it was announced last month that Steven Spielberg would be directing his upcoming novel, Robopocalypse, which sounds, well, basically like a Terminator knockoff from the studio that made Transmorphers.

Now Deadline says Wilson has sold another novel, Amp, to Alex Proyas, which sparked a bidding war even though this one’s not finished yet either.

With Alex Proyas poised to produce and potentially direct, Summit Entertainment has just closed a deal for screen rights to AMP, a near-future science fiction thriller novel by Daniel H. Wilson. The novel is set in a world where the technology designed to make the disabled whole, turns them into supermen. Deal was low six against seven figures.
I’m told that aside from Summit, Working Title and Paramount also chased a novel that has a mix of scifi action and political allegory reminiscent of District 9 [don't you mean *will* have? -Ed.]. Wilson took the Summit deal because he was impressed by Proyas, who’ll shoot the picture at a modest budget in Australia. Wilson is writing the book, and the plan is to hire a screenwriter who’ll take his novel pages and draft them into script form, the way Drew Goddard did while Wilson was scribbling away on Robopocalypse.

And here I thought “your novel sounds great, here’s a million dollars!” was just a barista fantasy.  Hey, remember when “Gee, this sounds like a bunch of things I’ve already seen” wasn’t a compliment?

Good news, everyone!  Alex Proyas, director of The Crow and Knowing, among other films, has signed up to direct a Hollywood film adaptation of Paradise Lost, John Milton’s legendary 17th-century English poem about the battle between angels and demons.  Now, personally, I love me nothing more than some 17th-century poetry.  Hell, I practically majored in it at queer school.  Being the cultured intellectual that I am, I’d be interested in a very faithful, very artistic interpretation of the work, featuring costumes and British accents and Kate Winslet.  But I realize that kind of thing is not for everyone.  But you’re in luck, beefcake, because this AIN’T YOUR GRANDPA’S PARADISE LOST!  THIS ONE WILL HAVE AIRPLANES AND P*SSY AND 3D! OOH WAH-AH AH-AH BUKKAKE SQUAD!

The project tells the story of the epic war in heaven between archangels Michael and Lucifer, and will be crafted as an action vehicle that will include aerial warfare, possibly shot in 3D. [Variety]

(*NIC CAGE bursts through the door wearing a ridiculous wig*)  “The Pentagon called me, rogue John Milton scholar Jefferson Davis St. Cloud, because they know I’m the best!  The chairman of the Harvard classics department said I was crazy!  HAHAHAHA– well who’s crazy now?  That’s right, I’VE DISCOVERED A TRANSCRIPT OF LUCIFER’S PLANS ON THE BACK OF THE GETTYSBURG ADDRESS!  QUICK, THERE ISN’T MUCH TIME!” (*flies off in personal helicopter*)

Nothing against Sam Worthington — I don’t have strong feelings about him one way or another as long as he doesn’t touch my stash — but Jesus Christ.  Hollywood seems really determined to stuff him down our throats.  The latest is a Latino Review report (confirmed by Hollywood Reporter) that he’s in talks to play Vlad the Impaler in Dracula: Year Zero for Alex Proyas (Dark City, Knowing).

This is a period retelling of Dracula.  Like back in Transylvania and sh*t.  Vampires and Vlad the impaler. [LR]

Matt Sazama and Burk Sharpless wrote the spec, which explores the origin of Dracula, weaving vampire mythology with the true history of Prince Vlad the Impaler. It seeks to depict Dracula as a flawed hero in a tragic love story set in a dark age of magic and war. [HR]

A vampire who loves a human?  Oh, Sam Worthington, can’t you ever date one of your own species?  Anyway, I like to think of my middle school years as a dark age of magic and war.  A dark age of magic and war and inappropriate boners. Meanwhile, Dracula: Year Zero is a stupid title, unless the year zero refers to the year Jesus was born.  And I hope it does, because Jesus vs. Dracula is the only worthy sequel to the Passion of the Christ.

At this point, it’s not like we needed outside confirmation of how much Fox sucks – just watch a clip from Dragonball.  Still, it’s nice to hear it from a prominent director with perspective on the other side of a Fox production.

‘I’ve warned people off,’ from working with the studio, Proyas said.
While making I, Robot, Proyas dealt with lots of interference, but found that while the orders came from Tom Rothman, the studio head wouldn’t bring the message himself. According to Proyas, Rothman sent his ‘evil minions to do his bidding.’ Among other things, the studio head asked the director of Dark City, the man who was adapting a classic Isaac Asimov science fiction story into a film, ‘we needed to inject more jokes in the movie; stupid stuff like that basically.’
Don’t think that Proyas is some idealistic artiste who just can’t work well with the money people. He says that he really gets the dynamic between studio and filmmaker. ‘It’s the constant tension of what we do. Filmmaking is a business, it’s not just an art form as much as we’d like it to be,’ he said. ‘You have to make money back for the investors, otherwise you won’t be allowed to make another movie.’  I had to know: would Proyas ever work with Fox again? ‘Never again,’ he said definitively. [CHUD]

It’d be one thing to get interference from people with a history of box office success, but an exec at a bomb factory like Fox has to realize that he’s less a coach than a retarded kid in the bleachers.  The director might sign your ball after he hits a home run, but he doesn’t need your swing advice.  And speaking of foxes, check out this one.  What an a-hole!

After the jump, I’ve got a new clip from Knowing, starring Nic Cage as a guy who really needs to warn you that you’re in iminent danger, who’s going to make sure you’re safe no matter how crazy he looks.  Nic Cage is really good at that character.  I bet he uses it all the time in real life just to get what he wants. “Why isn’t this latte no foam? …WHY IS THERE FOAM? WHYISTHEREFOAMWHYISTHEREFOAMWHYISTHEREFOAM??!!” 

And then people do what he says, because maybe there’s an ancient mystery involved.
Read the rest of this entry »