(“Fill up momma’s wine glass and I’ll show you what I like to call the Streeptease.”)

Writer/Director Nancy Meyers writes the kind of movies (What Women Want, Something’s Gotta Give, The Holiday) that my mom forces me to watch that I end up resenting her for a little bit.  This is the new trailer for her latest, starring Meryl Streep, Steve Martin, and Alec Baldwin (good), whose title is a copy of either a Facebook relationship status, an Avril Lavigne song, or a Denise Richards reality show (bad).  Coming Christmas Day, It’s Complicated.  Have you ever wanted to hear Alec Baldwin deliver lines that start with “O M G”? (no)  Did you ever wish you’d see Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin making out in an elevator? (no)  Were you hoping Steve Martin would get hip to webcam chat? (no)  Well then this movie is for you! (not me).

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The Oscars hosts have been officially announced, and it will be Steve Martin, hosting his third Oscars, paired with Alec Baldwin in his first.  It seems like an okay, if boring choice.  Until you read this:

The pairing of Mr. Baldwin and Mr. Martin comes with a self-referential twist: The two are cast as rivals for the affection of a character played by Meryl Streep in a romantic comedy, “It’s Complicated,” which is directed by Nancy Meyers and is set for release by Universal Pictures on Christmas Day. [NYTimes]

Oof.  I hope we aren’t choosing hosts by who has a movie to promote now.  But I’ll save the conspiracy theories for when we talk about how the CIA wanted to assassinate Kennedy with an AIDS monkey.  Truth is, these hosts are sorta meh, just like the Oscars itself is sorta meh.  I was excited back when Dave Letterman was set to host, just like I was excited when Chris Rock and Jon Stewart were set to host.  But what happened?  Not a lot.  It’s an impossible gig because you’re trying to make jokes about people on the night when they’re taking something that’s supposed to be fun super seriously.  The closest they ever got to spontaneity was when Chris Rock made a Jude Law joke and Sean Penn ran onstage to complain that he didn’t get to be on the committee that decided whether it was okay to tell a joke or not.  Bottom line, short of getting Tracy Morgan to host and letting him ad-lib stories from his childhood to introduce categories (seriously, make this phone call now), nothing all that interesting is going to happen.

From Nancy Meyers, the director of Something’s Gotta Give and What Women Want comes Old People F*cking Part 3, aka It’s Complicated.  I hope it lives up to its name better than Denise Richards’ reality show, because in Denise Richards’ world, “complicated” seems to mean “hanging out on the f*cking beach drinking wine” a lot.  It must be rough being a hobo with money.  Where was I?  Oh right, the movie.  See, Meryl Streep was married to Alec Baldwin, who left her for a hot 20-something.  But now they’re having an affair, even though she’s his ex-wife, even though her architect Steve Martin also wants a piece, and yeah, mom, this looks totally hilarious and realistic too.

[Also available in HD at Apple]

Perhaps I’ve misjudged you, Catholicism.

After the jump, watch the trailer for Lymelife, an indie flick from writers Derick and Steven Martini, directed by Derick Martini, with a score by Steven Martini and his band, The Spaceship Martini.  …Moving on… It’s currently is making the festival rounds, next playing at the Gen Art Festival in April, and stars Alec Baldwin, Timothy Hutton, Kieran Culkin, and Rory Culkin, who up until now I didn’t even know existed (and frankly I think I was better off).  I know it’s suppposed to be a heartwarming period piece and all that, but I think if I’d seen this when I was in high school and had to watch a Culkin getting laid I would’ve gone Columbine all over everyone’s ass.
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Adrien Grenier of Entourage is currently filming a documentary called Teenage Paparazzi, for which he has enlisted Alec Baldwin, Whoopi Goldberg, Eva Longoria, Rosie O’Donnell and others.

Grenier’s film, which surfaced on gossip sites when the actor was seen around Los Angeles with interview subject Paris Hilton, explores his relationship with a 14-year-old paparazzo who took his photo. The docu will feature Grenier interviewing actors and commentators — including Martin Landau, Noam Chomsky and "Daily Show" comedian Lewis Black — about the culture of fame.

[Producer Matthew] Cooke, who is functioning as a "sounding board" for the director, said "Paparazzi" will interweave the relationship portrait with philosophical interviews in the style of Richard Linklater’s "Waking Life [clip after the jump so you understand what we're dealing with]." It is being shopped to distributors and might be unveiled as a feature or miniseries. [THR]

Ooh, I can’t wait.  I’ve always wanted to see a movie that recreates the experience of catching your junior-high-droput pot dealer in a moment of introspection.  Fascinating thought, Entourage guy! Tell me about quantum mechanics!"