Last night Shia LaBeouf went on David Letterman, and Dave, to his credit, wasn’t Shia (sorry) about asking The Beef about his public feud with Alec Baldwin. You know, the one where Shia passed off an Esquire article (and a pretty lame one at that) as his own public apology. Shia tried to explain, but he was so obtuse and full-of-sh*t actorsy about it that the audience was openly mocking him before he’d even finished talking. It’s actually remarkable how quickly they turn on him. Here’s a partial transcript (more after the jump, with video):
SHIA: I’m pretty passionate and impulsive. And he’s passionate and impulsive too, and I think that makes for some fireworks.
DAVE: So… why did you get fired?
SHIA: Because me and Alec had tension as men. Not as artists, but as men. In a room, I think that became a hard thing to deal with. When you got tension as men, that’s tough till July. You know, it’s cool for increments, but I think to do that for a long period of time… is pretty tough.
“When you got tension as men, that’s tough till July.” Deep, bro. Is that another truism gleaned from the perfumed pages of the Megan-Fox-as-Aztec-sacrifice issue? Got any juicy bon mots about matching ties to cuff links?
Now, it’d be good internet business to just say “HERE’S SHIA LABEOUF ACTING DOUCHEY, LET’S POKE HIM WITH STICKS!” because that’s the kind of simple morality tale that plays here in the cat-o-sphere. And you know, it wouldn’t be totally wrong. But in the interests of fairness, it should be pointed out that there are some contextual reasons why Shia Labeouf might be trying to communicate in metrosexual slam poem that go beyond his personal preference.