Here’s an Italian commercial for the Schick Quattro for women.  It ends with finely trimmed bushes and a girl happily holding her hairless kitty.  I don’t know, it seems a little subtle.  You know this was all Berlusconi’s idea.

MORNING LINKS

Outing Twitter’s 14 most braggardly douchebags. |Uproxx|

Japanese wonder dog rescued three miles out to sea. |UproxxNews|

The Dreaded Hover Hand, Wonder Woman Edition (Plus A SFW Nip Slip). |GammaSquad|

The Ten Most Promising Pilots for Fall 2011 (Plus One Guaranteed Bomb). |WarmingGlow|

If you’re not interested in our interview with Parry Gripp, we can’t be friends. |Frotcast|

KSK Mock Draft: Name the most obnoxious meme. |KSK|

Yankee Uses Rebecca Black’s ‘Friday’ For AB Music, Hits Homer |WithLeather|

15 Horrible Firsthand Accounts From Charlie Sheen’s First Show In Detroit. Whatever, idiots, you got what you deserved. |Buzzfeed|

Why We Drink: Terry Gilliam Remake Edition. |Pajiba|

Baby bear cubs playing with baby tiger cubs.  |TheDailyWhat|

Mealoaf and Gary Busey got in an argument, and Meatloaf ended up looking like the crazy one. Did NOT see that one coming. |BostonBarstoolSports|

Candace Swanepoel needs to lay off the meth. |WWTDD|

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are back together, both got Shia LaBeouf haircuts. |TheSuperficial|

“Webcam privacy fail” is probably staged, still funny. |HolyTaco|

Eddie Izzard getting a show on FX. |ScreenJunkies|

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If Morgan Freeman ever decided to become a politician, his opponent would be in trouble.  He’s spent his entire career playing God, the president, and other authority figures, and as evidenced by the careers of Ronald Reagan and Arnold Schwarzenegger, we Americans are too dumb to know the difference.  No doubt realizing this, North Carolina republican congressional candidate BJ Lawson had some campaign commercials made using a voiceover that sounded a lot like Freeman.  Lawson had been going around telling people the voice was Freeman’s. Freeman found out about it and publicly denied it, and now Lawson says he was duped by the production company, because that would somehow be better.

“Our campaign was duped,” Lawson said.
Lawson says he signed a contract earlier with MEI Political –a production company that promised to deliver a Morgan Freeman radio commercial.
The ad doesn’t say the narrator is Morgan Freeman, but Lawson says he did.
“When people heard the ad, the question that everyone was asking is that Morgan Freeman and my answer, believing what I was told to be Morgan Freeman was yes, that is Morgan Freeman,” he said.

On Monday morning, when Freeman heard the news, he released a statement.

“These people are lying. I have never recorded any campaign ads for B.J. Lawson and I do not support his candidacy,” said Freeman through his publicist Stan Rosenfield.

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Daniel Radcliffe shirtless in a bra? Yes, Google, it's true.

I sort of dismissed Harry Potter movies as not my cup of tea a few years ago, but based on this new TV spot for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, perhaps I was wrong. Er, premature.  The sheer bra is cute.  But I wonder: couldn’t the choker be tighter?  LOOK OUT HARRY, THERE’S A GINGER BEHIND YOU!  MOTHER OF GOD, THEY’RE EVERYWHERE!

Guh. British people.  Cross dressing is their solution to everything.

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Masturbation-hating, non-witch Delaware Senatorial candidate Christine O’Donnell has a new campaign ad out.  Why is it on FilmDrunk, you ask?  Why, because it’s a fake movie trailer referencing the “they rapin’ errybody out there” guy, of course.  It seems that despite having to clarify that she isn’t actually a sorceress in her last ad*, Christine O’Donnell is quite savvy in the ways of the viral video, managing to nail two crucial internet video techniques, the fake trailer and the reference to other recent video.

“HIDE YOUR WILL…  HIDE YOUR LIGHTS… ‘CAUSE HE’S TAXING EVERYBODY OUT HERE.”

Oy.  First politicians on Twitter, now this.  And here I assumed they’d just now be discovering Keyboard Cat.  Anyway, it’s clever of O’Donnell to go after her opponent’s web-savvy base like this.  In order to compete, I hear he’s going to have to catch the greased-up Mexican at the next Tea Party squirrel feed.

*It’s one thing to tell people you’re not a witch, prove it.  They should’ve filmed that commercial with Christine O’Donnell on a scale next to a duck.  Christ, people, do I have to explain everything?

[via Videogum]

While I was over on PerezHilton.com refreshing every five seconds waiting for some important insight on the human condition (I kid, I kid. Please, put down the truncheon), I found this awesome German beer commercial starring Mickey Rourke.  Disregarding the fact that the ad is for non-alcoholic beer, which, even if it tasted amazing is basically the beverage equivalent of a hot girl without a vagina, Mickey Rourke turns in another fine performance.  He plays a foul-mouthed, tiny-dog sporting version of himself who goes into a hotel bar, whereupon the bartender sneaks him a non-alcoholic beer, presumably to keep him from gettin’ sh*tfaced and tearin’ up the join like my uncle Sal.  Psst, hey, Germans, I don’t know if this reputation for trickery is a stereotype you want to perpetuate, you sneaky Jew-killers.

Bottom line, I will now begin every toast with, “Here’s to tiny dogs and the Goddamn revolution.” Whoa, did anyone else just envision a Che shirt with a Pomeranian in a beret? …Just me, then?

AFTER THE JUMP: The Tiger Woods “Slap Her With a Dick” Remix.

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