(Your worst nightmare, butthorn)

Adrien Brody has agreed to take time out of his busy schedule of making out with black chicks to play the hero in Robert Rodriguez’ Predators movie.  He’ll play a “heroic mercenary who battles alien hunters,” according to Variety. A heroic, cerebral, glib, Jewish, mercenary, presumably.

Brody will star with Alice Braga, Danny Trejo [!], Walt Goggins, [old-school MMA-guy] Oleg Taktarov, Mahershalalhashbaz Ali, and Louiz Ozawa.

Hollywood Reporter adds:

Written by Rodriguez, Alex Litvak and Michael Finch, the script follows a group of elite warrior-types who are being hunted by members of a race of merciless alien trackers called Predators.
Brody is a man who ends up inheriting the mantle of leader and is known as a hunter of men. Topher Grace would play an accountant-type whose unassuming facade masks a dangerous serial killer.
Braga is the tough female killer. Ali is a man not afraid to die, Goggins is the loose canon [sic] of the group and Taktarov is a former Russian special ops agent.
Trejo, already cast, is Cuchillo, a hardened warrior with twin uzis strapped to his back.

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^{If you see one movie with bowler hats this summer… make it Sherlock Holmes. But if you see two…}

…Yeah, so that’s just about the gayest headline pun I’ve ever written.  Anyway, after the jump I’ve got the trailer for The Brothers Bloom – starring Adrien Brody, Mark Ruffalo, and Rachel Weisz – director Rian Johnson’s follow up to Brick (which I never saw but am told is good).  It basically looks like Oceans 11 meets Dirty Rotten Scoundrels as directed by Wes Anderson.  Oh my gosh, aren’t these characters quirky?  I wonder if the mark will become the con at the end!

I like how complicated criminal enterprises are in movies.  In real life, 99% of all mob plots consist solely of beating someone up and telling him he owes you money.  So I’ve heard.
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Adrien Brody, who won a special place in my heart for dipping Halle Berry and making out with her after winning his Oscar in 2002 (which clearly should’ve gone to Daniel Day-Lewis as Bill the Butcher), is back to his old ways.  And by his old ways, I mean seizing every opportunity to make out with black chicks.  This time, Beyoncé.

Adrien Brody (Leonard Chess in the movie) admitted during the premiere of Cadillac Records on Monday that making out and rolling around on the ground with Beyoncé, Etta James in the movie, wasn’t part of the script, nor was it historically accurate, but no one complained.

“Let’s just say it wasn’t a deal breaker,” Brody said.  “When I met Etta [the real one], she told me, ‘Leonard and I did not do those things!’  So, yes, it was somewhat embellished.  But what’s wonderful is the truth Beyoncé brings to that moment.  That justified it.” [NYDailyNews]

Brody continued heaping praise upon his co-star, saying, “What can I say, man, those titties don’t lie!  How you gon’ hate a nigga for tryin ta get a piece? A-Brode love him some dark meat.”  Okay, not really.  You’ll never believe this, but I actually just made that last part up.  Still, you have to respect a gawky ass dude like Adrien Brody taking his fame as an opportunity to strong arm every chick that comes near him.  That’s what I’d do.  I’d also probably make fog horn sounds when I grabbed her boobs.  Because I’m all man, ladies.

[more pictures @ TheBlemish]