So here’s the video of Kunio Kato’s Oscar speech (he directed the animated short La Maison en Petits Cubes) from last night.  In concluding his short speech with “Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto,” he somehow managed to both pander to the crowd and be endearing at the same time (hope you were taking notes, Leno).  I was also trying to think what the equivalent of this speech would be for an American winning an award in Japan.  A few ideas:

“Welcome ta Earff.”
“Sheeeeeit.”
“You f-ck mah wife?”
“Muh muh muh my Sharona.”
“You got knocked da FUGGOUT!”
“Seacrest, out.”
“Yo, homes, smell ya later.”
“Cowabunga.”
“Hey Mickey you’re so fine.”
“I’ll be there fooor youuuuu…”
“Janie’s cryin’ [got a gun].”
“WHY IS IT BURNED?/NO NOT THE BEES! AAAARRGGGHH!!!”

Feel free to submit your own. [hat tip to HolyTaco on the video]

As part of its goal not to be noticed or talked about by anyone, the Independant Spirit Awards held its ceremony on Saturday, a day before the Oscars.  The Wrestler took home the best picture award it deserved at the Oscars, James Franco won best supporting actor for Milk even though he was better in Pineapple Express, and Woody Allen won best screenplay for Vicky Cristina Barcelona (even though he would’ve preferred not have another turgid discussion about categorical imperatives). You can see the full list of winners after the jump, but the most important thing that happened was Mickey Rourke giving yet another amazing, foul mouthed, refreshingly honest acceptance speech.

“Eric Roberts is probably the best actor I ever worked with and I don’t know why in the last 15 years ain’t nobody give him a chance to show his shit again, because whatever he did 15, 20 years ago should be forgiven – no, I’m goddamned serious.  Eric Roberts is the f-ckin man, and like I got, he deserves a second chance.  …It’s nice to be presented an award by these two talented… uh, three talented – I don’t know what you do, honey… I wanna thank, uh, Melissa, Marisa – Marisa Tomei! Goddammit, she had to do all this bare ass, and she brought it, and – is she here?  Well anyway, not many girls can climb the pole.  But she did it and she did it well.

There’s six minutes of acceptance speech, and all of it more awesome than anything that’s happened at the Oscars pretty much ever.  For whatever reason, the guy makes me laugh and tear up every time he opens his mouth.  What the hell is wrong with me?  I don’t even tear up when relatives die.  I think my insides might be broken.
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Watching Mickey Rourke onstage is always entertaining, but a couple things bugged me about his Best Actor acceptance speech.  1.  Where’s his chihuahua?  Did Nic Cage steal it?  2. Did they shoot him from the waist up because he was doing the Al Bundy thing with his hand down his pants the whole time? Get it together, camera guy, that’s the best part.

Little known fact: Mickey’s scarf used to be a disco ball.