Halloween is just around the corner, but I think we might as well all just give up now, because there’s no way any of are outdoing B.A. Baracus here. In this case, I believe the B.A. stands for “Baby Asian.”

[via Iruntheinternet - thanks to Joe King for the tip]

The A-Team movie just released a batch of new pictures from the movie, in case you’re one of those people who prefer their photos not projected in rapid sequence to create the illusion of motion.  I just wish we could decide once and for all whether keffiyah scarves are for hipster pussies or special forces guys so I can exercise my God-given right to punch hipsters without worrying about getting my trachea stomped.  As Nathan Hale famously said, “I regret that I have but two fists with which to punch hipsters in their stupid face.”

[via ComingSoon]

(This scene was so extreme Vin Diesel started skysurfing on it.)

I posted the crappy, bootleg version of the new A-Team trailer last week, but now the official version is up and you can see Rampage, Liam, Brad Cooper, and the District 9 guy in glorious regular resolution. It’s still a dopey concept based on a dopey show, but it appears they’ve done a great job updating the plot.  By which I mean OMG SKYDIVING ON A TANK, SO XXXTREEEME!!!  *Rockstar Energy Drink enema*

No one seems to know whether they won’t actually kill any of the bad guys like in the original.  One of them is wearing a gas mask in the trailer — tear gas and tranq guns instead of bullets, perhaps?   Maybe instead of killing bad guys, they just drug em up and date rape them.  Seems plausible.  I mean, they are driving around in a van.

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The trailer for the Joe Carnahan-directed A-Team remake hits theaters this weekend, and The Film Stage noticed an early leak to the Edmonton Journal, so they uploaded it to vimeo.  Check it out while it lasts, as it’ll probably get tugged off faster than a Republican congressman in a cruisy rest stop. Haha, good one, Jay.

The quality sucks, but dare I say… it looks promising?  As good as a Fox-remake of a cheesy TV show could possibly be?  If nothing else, Joe Carnahan knows how to film dumb action.  Rampage Jackson as “Bad Attitude” Baracas never says he ain’t flyin on no plane, but he does punch a guy out as Brad Cooper notes, “Looks like you got a bad attitude.”

Whackety schmackedy!  Also, what’s up with Rampage stealing Chuck Liddell’s hairstyle?  Not that I’m surprised. It’s just like the blacks to co-opt white culture.  Next he’ll be slowing down and trying to rely on his “grit” and “work ethic”.

(Somethin for the ladies)

I didn’t make a huge fuss when Rampage Jackson won the part of B.A. Baracus in the A-Team movie, one because the idea of an A-Team movie is way dumber than any casting choice could be, and two because Rampage is a charismatic dude.  Some people get mad when he tries to dry hump Japanese chicks in interviews, but I dunno… I could watch the guy paint a house.  (Preferably with a giant mural of himself on the side).

That said, as this clip (watch it below) from Death Warrior demonstrates, charisma doesn’t always translate to acting ability.  Hard to look like a good actor in a movie this horrible, I know, but ‘page still has a pretty bad case of the mumbles.  And he fell for the ol’ splits-to-crotch-punch move.  C’mon, man, that’s the oldest trick in the book!  It’s how my parents fell in love.

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