I don’t usually watch 60 Minutes because I don’t have grey pubes, but yesterday they did a profile on JC, aka Jesus Cameron, director of Avatar and creator of the universe amen.  It’s mostly the same stuff you’ve already heard in his Playboy interview, his New Yorker profile, his letter to Penthouse forum, etc., but there was one tidbit that was new to me:

“The head of Orion, who were gonna release Terminator, called me up and said, ‘Are you sitting down?  I have cast this movie.  I was at a party, and it’s OJ Simpson for the Terminator.’

And I said ‘This is the stupidest idea I’ve ever heard.’

And I didn’t know OJ Simpson, I had nothing against him personally, and I didn’t know he was gonna go murder his wife and become the real Terminator…”

The segment does a pretty good job of capturing Cameron in a nutshell: enough of a megalomaniacal Napoleon to wear a hat that says HMFIC (Head MotherF-cker In Charge) but refreshing in that he’s the rare Hollywood personality that seems very intelligent and has the balls to casually call OJ a murderer in an interview.  In related news, Brett Ratner has a hat that says “Big Cheese” because he loves nachos.

Nothing against Tyler Perry or his movies, I’m just not one for heavy-handed preaching or folksy, homespun wisdom.  But hey, to each his own, different strokes, that’s why towns have so many different strip clubs, etc.  Anyway, Perry was the subject of a 60 Minutes profile last night in which Byron Pitts (great name, btw) repeatedly says, “Most Americans probably don’t even know your name.”  Is this true?  It wouldn’t be fair to someone so successful. Even if he creepily overenunciates everything and the clips they show do nothing to make me want to see one of his movies.

The whole segment is below. Above is the part where Perry discusses his molefestation as a child.  He doesn’t say what age he was, but says when he was young, the mother of one of his friends locked him in the house and wouldn’t let him leave until he had sex with her.  It seems like under different circumstances it’d make a pretty sexy letter to Penthouse forum, but he chooses to go a different direction.  He also hints at being molested by a man but declines to discuss it.  It’s all pretty serious, and pretty hard to write a joke about.  See, Tyler Perry?  This is why we never hang out anymore.  You’re a real buzzkill, dude.

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Julian Schnabel most recently directed The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, but before that, he was an artist who did stuff like paint a gigantic version of a painting he found in a junk yard and charge $6 million for it. If that’s not enough to know he’s a pompous douche, he also wears yellow glasses, and at the Director’s Guild awards this year, he was giving an acceptance speech and going “Uhhh… Ummm…. Hmmm…” when Sean Young shouted “Get on with it!”, which was what everyone else was thinking. At which point he got all hurt and stormed off the stage like a little girl. Similarly, during this recent 60 Minutes profile, Morley Safer asks him about a critic (video after the jump):

“Your old nemesis, Robert Hughes once said of your work, you are to painting what Stallone is to acting.”

At which point Schnabel gets pissed and refuses to answer any more questions. That’s right, he’s indignant about being compared to cinema’s most prolific killer of villainous Asians. He’ll copy a painting he found in the trash and charge $6 million for it, but if anyone questions him about it, they’re just being big meanies. I will give him this: Julian Schnabel is the Babe Ruth of hipster dickweeds. Read the rest of this entry »