_{“STOP KICKING MY SEAT!”}

D-Box technologies is rolling out a new system that will shake your movie seat to coincide with the action onscreen, which is an awesome idea if you’re four years old or live in 1955.

According to the system’s inventor, D-Box Technologies, Motion Code is “perfectly synchronised with all onscreen action, creating an unmatched realistic, immersive experience.”
The first cinematic release to ‘benefit’ from the D-Box experience is Fast & Furious, at just two cinemas: the Mann Chinese 6 in Hollywood, California, and UltraStar Surprise Pointe 14 in Surprise, AZ. [TechRadar]

Sweet, maybe it’ll shake me awake when Paul Walker tries to act. Or perhaps they could adapt the technology to animate Nic Cage’s forehead. Seriously though, people forget they already tried all this stupid crap 50 years ago. It didn’t catch on then either, because the whole point of movies is that you can be entertained for two hours relatively cheaply.  And another thing, I’m sick of everyone calling Bruckheimer and Bay movies “roller coasters” and “thrill rides.”  Just tell me a goddamned story you a-holes, stop trying to make me motion sick.

_{Dude, look. Craft services finally got those handi-snaks I asked for.}

At a recent 4 Fast 4 Furious press junket, Paul Walker was asked about the possibility of a sequel. Because really, what else are you gonna ask at a Fast and Furious press junket.  “So… what was it like working with… cars?”  Said Walker:

“I’ve heard it in the rumor mill. I’ve spoken with executives at Universal at this point and they’re pretty serious about it. They’re developing it. They know where they want it to take place. They want to do it in Europe.”

[Asked if he'd want to be involved} "I don’t know. I’d really want to put time into it. I don’t think it’d be too hard to make the best one yet [Editor's Note: Because we're barely half-assing it now.]. I don’t think the best one has been made yet. If we were to go make a 5th one it would be the best one. Otherwise let’s not do it.” [collider]

Aw, isn’t it cute how handsome movie stars think you automatically get five chances to do something right? Nah, hold up, dude, one more take.  I think I can get my face to move this time.

After the jump, I’ve got a BRAND NEW XTREME CLIP from the upcoming 4 FAST 4 FURIOUS, featuring PAUL WALKER and VIN DIESEL, in an XTREME CAR CHASE.  A lot of people BAG on these Fast and Furious movies for being DUMB.  But the makers of 4 FAST 4 FURIOUS aren’t DUMB, they just know what GUYS WANT, right BROS?  Namely, REACTION SHOTS and SOUND EFFECTS and CLOSEUPS OF PEOPLES’ HANDS SHIFTING!  Oh my GOD, was that someone’s FOOT pressing down on the GAS PEDAL?  I can’t take it, it’s TOO XTREME!  **xxtreeeme prolapse**

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_{HOW DOES MY DICK TASTE!}

“Spicy” “Latina” 4 Fast 4 Fourious star Michelle Rodriguez is no doubt one “hot tamale,” if you catch my drift (drift! Get it? Like the cars????).  She was coming out of Mr. Chow in Beverly Hills yesterday when some paparazzi accosted her and began asking her questions, which seems really unfair because everybody in Hollywood knows Mr. Chow is where you go to keep a low profile. In the video below, one paparazzo (dat’s a spicy-a douchabag!) asks, “How’s your community service going?” to which the “hot-blooded Hispanic” responds, “How’s the dick sucking going, brother?”  See? I told you she’s feisty.  And did I mention Latin? Because she is, you know. I think I read that somewhere.

Mira, dat’s why maybe next ju mind jour own beezness, eh puto?
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Ha, just kidding of course.  The real 4 Fast 4 Furious poster is below, though I still like my version better.  Also, what’s up with Jordana Brewster?  Does she play a zombie?

[via ComingSoon]