In addition to screening in 3D, showings of the Robert Rodriguez-directed Spy Kids 4 will also be accompanied by scratch-and-sniff cards handed out to the audience, which the studio is calling “SPY KIDS 4, IN 4D AROMA-SCOPE,” because obviously, the fourth dimension is smell (SCIENTIFICALLY ACCURATE). Oh, and one of the scents on the scratch-and-sniff card is “a spy baby’s diapers.” Never hire a baby spy, dudes. I paid my friend’s kid a thousand dollars to infiltrate the Kremlin and I’d swear all he did was drool and poop himself.

“When it came time to do Spy Kids 4, I couldn’t just go back and do 3D like everybody else is now. I had to bring something extra,” Rodriguez told the AP.

“And so I revolutionized moviegoing with scratch and sniff cards. Some might say I turned 3D on its nose.”

“Just watching my own kids with interactive gaming, you ask them to watch a movie, it just feels so passive to them. I thought, this helps bridge the gap. It’s an interactive thing, almost like playing a game while you’re watching the movie.”

“I made a movie about spy babies and robot dogs, in 3D, with scratch and sniff cards. And if they’re still not paying attention, we’re going to hand out silly string so the kids can fight with it in the theater. Have fun, parents.”

In 1981, Waters released Polyester in “Odorama,” while the 2003 toon Rugrats Go Wild also used scented cards. One of the Rodriguez smells is a spy baby’s diapers. “Originally, we didn’t have any really rancid smells, but kids wanted something really stinky in there,” Rodriguez told AP. “It really doesn’t smell that bad. No one’s going to get sick in the theater.” [Deadline]

So instead of the gritty realism of the genuine article, we get yet another watered-down, slick, Hollywood take on baby poop? WHEN WILL YOU STOP RAPING MY CHILDHOOD, ROBERT RODRIGUEZ, WHEN?

After the jump, I’ve got the trailer for A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas, a 3D romp starring those two guys who’ll be forever known as Harold and Kumar. It looks reasonable funny and not super ambitious, as we’ve come to expect of Harold and Kumar movies. I still can’t believe I’m referring to that in the plural. I’d love to go back in time to 2004, when the first Harold and Kumar movie came out and just stand in line blowing people’s minds. “Yeah, so this goofy little stoner movie is going to go on to spawn two sequels. …No, seriously. And that’s not all. We’re gonna elect a black guy president, he’s going to appoint the Indian stoner dude to some UN Commission… and you remember Doogie Howser? Yeah, he’s in this movie! He plays some crazy poonhound dude, and he has this huge career resurgence. Oh, and I forgot to mention: he’s gay! That’s right: seven years from now, there are going to be three Harold and Kumar movies, Kumar works for the president, and thanks in part to a cameo in a stoner movie, Doogie Howser is openly gay, super respected, and a household name.” Read the rest of this entry »

It’s weird to be sitting here watching the trailer for Hugo, Martin Scorsese’s first attempt at a “kids” movie (based on The Invention of Hugo Cabret), starring Sacha Baron Cohen, Chloe Moretz, and Ben Kingsley, when less than 24 hours ago I saw Joe Pesci squeeze a guy’s head in a vice until his eyeball popped in Casino (which is on Netflix Instant right now). But as Adam Carolla so often points out, people who make stuff for kids are usually hacks who weren’t good enough to make stuff for adults (Pixar exempted, obviously), so maybe a guy famous for making adult movies is the perfect choice for a kids flick. Wait, don’t misinterpret me when I say “adult movies…”

Anyway, it opens November 23rd, and am I wrong for thinking this looks… really good? The music choice is a little weird, but it has an amazing cast, and talk about eye candy. It’s surprisingly refreshing to see someone do “childlike wonder” without all the super-fast cuts, talking animals, or people dancing to hip hop. And as good as it is at trimming the fat, it still doesn’t skimp on the reaction shots of dogs groaning (1:50). OH F*CK YEAH ANIMALS BEING AMUSED BY HUMAN FOIBLES! I hope there’s more where that came from. Who wants to really high with me this November?

Sony’s 3D Spider-Man reboot, The Amazing Spider-Man, starring Scarfield and Emma Stone, directed by Marc Webb (HAHA, SPIDER. WEBB. ROFLTWAT.), doesn’t open until NEXT July, but all the nerdiest of nerdlingtons are already mopping their be-dandruffed brows in anticipation of the Comic-Con panel they’ll probably have to wait in line six hours for. No doubt riding that wave of misplaced enthusiasm, Sony has released this new batch of photos to Entertainment Weekly.  At its core, Spider-Man is really a story about a limber young photographer from the city who spends his nights trying to shoot hot webbing on the baddest of bad boys, but within that, there’s plenty of room for minutia. Questions left to be answered. Questions like, what color will his girlfriend’s hair be? Will his web shooters be organic or mechanical? Will he have big hair like a Twilight character? What does his ass look like in the suit? Is it matte finish or glossy? Does he have visible panty line? What color f*ck-me boots? Why am I still typing this?

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AW HELL TO THE MOTHERF*CK YEAH, SON, I AIN’T KNOW WE WAS GETTIN’ A SQU3AKU3L!  The tipster who sent this over says it came from the Fox lot. When he sent it I didn’t realize we were getting an Alvin the Chipmunks Squ3aku3l, but apparently there’s already been a trailer our for two weeks.  But damn! Look how cool Alvin is! Sorry, Marmaduke, Alvin sees your sunglasses and raises you a sideways cap, a Hawaiian shirt, and vacation gang signs (what, no headphones?).  My God, could he BE more casual?! I mean talk about a “party animal!”

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