After the jump, I’ve got the trailer for A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas, a 3D romp starring those two guys who’ll be forever known as Harold and Kumar. It looks reasonable funny and not super ambitious, as we’ve come to expect of Harold and Kumar movies. I still can’t believe I’m referring to that in the plural. I’d love to go back in time to 2004, when the first Harold and Kumar movie came out and just stand in line blowing people’s minds. “Yeah, so this goofy little stoner movie is going to go on to spawn two sequels. …No, seriously. And that’s not all. We’re gonna elect a black guy president, he’s going to appoint the Indian stoner dude to some UN Commission… and you remember Doogie Howser? Yeah, he’s in this movie! He plays some crazy poonhound dude, and he has this huge career resurgence. Oh, and I forgot to mention: he’s gay! That’s right: seven years from now, there are going to be three Harold and Kumar movies, Kumar works for the president, and thanks in part to a cameo in a stoner movie, Doogie Howser is openly gay, super respected, and a household name.” Read the rest of this entry »

It’s weird to be sitting here watching the trailer for Hugo, Martin Scorsese’s first attempt at a “kids” movie (based on The Invention of Hugo Cabret), starring Sacha Baron Cohen, Chloe Moretz, and Ben Kingsley, when less than 24 hours ago I saw Joe Pesci squeeze a guy’s head in a vice until his eyeball popped in Casino (which is on Netflix Instant right now). But as Adam Carolla so often points out, people who make stuff for kids are usually hacks who weren’t good enough to make stuff for adults (Pixar exempted, obviously), so maybe a guy famous for making adult movies is the perfect choice for a kids flick. Wait, don’t misinterpret me when I say “adult movies…”

Anyway, it opens November 23rd, and am I wrong for thinking this looks… really good? The music choice is a little weird, but it has an amazing cast, and talk about eye candy. It’s surprisingly refreshing to see someone do “childlike wonder” without all the super-fast cuts, talking animals, or people dancing to hip hop. And as good as it is at trimming the fat, it still doesn’t skimp on the reaction shots of dogs groaning (1:50). OH F*CK YEAH ANIMALS BEING AMUSED BY HUMAN FOIBLES! I hope there’s more where that came from. Who wants to really high with me this November?

Sony’s 3D Spider-Man reboot, The Amazing Spider-Man, starring Scarfield and Emma Stone, directed by Marc Webb (HAHA, SPIDER. WEBB. ROFLTWAT.), doesn’t open until NEXT July, but all the nerdiest of nerdlingtons are already mopping their be-dandruffed brows in anticipation of the Comic-Con panel they’ll probably have to wait in line six hours for. No doubt riding that wave of misplaced enthusiasm, Sony has released this new batch of photos to Entertainment Weekly.  At its core, Spider-Man is really a story about a limber young photographer from the city who spends his nights trying to shoot hot webbing on the baddest of bad boys, but within that, there’s plenty of room for minutia. Questions left to be answered. Questions like, what color will his girlfriend’s hair be? Will his web shooters be organic or mechanical? Will he have big hair like a Twilight character? What does his ass look like in the suit? Is it matte finish or glossy? Does he have visible panty line? What color f*ck-me boots? Why am I still typing this?

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AW HELL TO THE MOTHERF*CK YEAH, SON, I AIN’T KNOW WE WAS GETTIN’ A SQU3AKU3L!  The tipster who sent this over says it came from the Fox lot. When he sent it I didn’t realize we were getting an Alvin the Chipmunks Squ3aku3l, but apparently there’s already been a trailer our for two weeks.  But damn! Look how cool Alvin is! Sorry, Marmaduke, Alvin sees your sunglasses and raises you a sideways cap, a Hawaiian shirt, and vacation gang signs (what, no headphones?).  My God, could he BE more casual?! I mean talk about a “party animal!”

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The nation’s once-inexhaustible appetite for 3D movies has begun to slow, but don’t take my word for it. I’m just a guy who’s been eagerly rooting for its demise. Take the NY Times and their recent article, “3-D Starts to Fizzle, and Hollywood Frets.” But don’t take it from the source, just read it here, I need the pageviews.

Ripples of fear spread across Hollywood last week after “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides,” which cost Walt Disney Studios an estimated $400 million [!!!] to make and market, did poor 3-D business in North America. While event movies have typically done 60 percent of their business in 3-D, “Stranger Tides” sold just 47 percent in 3-D. “The American consumer is rejecting 3-D,” Richard Greenfield, an analyst at the financial services company BTIG, wrote of the “Stranger Tides” results.
Memorial Day weekend did not give studio chiefs much comfort in the 3-D department. “Kung Fu Panda 2″ sold $53.8 million in tickets from Thursday to Sunday, a soft total, and 3-D was 45 percent of the business, according to Paramount.

“Ripples of fear” is what I nicknamed my abs.  Meanwhile, the Times reports that overseas, 3D is still strong (and also still new), so hopefully it fades there at the same rate.  Or else expect a glut of titles like “Johnny Depp’s Robot Alien Drag-Revue Explosionaganza.”  Foreigners love men in drag, don’t ask me why.

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