One project I’ll admit I forgot even existed is the adaptation of Life of Pi, from Brokeback Mountain/Crouching Tiger director Ang Lee that’s scheduled to open this December, and which, last we heard, was being shot in 3D (…yeah). Based on the 2001 Yann Martel novel, it tells the story of a zookeeper’s son who ends up stuck on a lifeboat with a hyena, an orangutan, a zebra, and a tiger named Richard Parker. I was a big fan of the book (I enjoy it more as a tall tale even though it’s clearly intended as an allegory about religion — different parts of the book are written in the style of Christianity, Hinduism, and Islam, respectively), but a weird thing happened when I looked at this still. All I wanted to do was put on my leather, internet commenter skullcap and fly by in my biplane shouting “FFFFAAAAAAKE! GAAAAAAAYYYYYY!”

Stupid fake-ass looking tiger. Should’ve gotten Michael Bay’s pet tiger.

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For years, James Cameron has been telling everyone who would listen (mostly his army of high-priced whores) that a lot of the early problems people had with 3D – that it required slower cuts and camera movements because of strobing and blurring – could be solved with higher frame rates, which is relatively easy to accomplish (your TV is already capable of doing much higher than film’s 24 frames per second, for instance). Peter Jackson explained last year:

Looking at 24 frames every second may seem ok–and we’ve all seen thousands of films like this over the last 90 years–but there is often quite a lot of blur in each frame, during fast movements, and if the camera is moving around quickly, the image can judder or “strobe.”

Shooting and projecting at 48 fps does a lot to get rid of these issues.  It looks much more lifelike, and it is much easier to watch, especially in 3-D.

Jackson put his money where his beardy mouth is, shooting The Hobbit at 48 fps, and today Warner Bros debuted some of the footage at CinemaCon.

Peter Jackson said in a videotaped message that he hopes his movie can be played in 48fps in “as many cinemas as possible” when it opens on Dec. 14.
In his message, Jackson stated that higher frame rates could make cinema “more attractive,” especially in 3D as it is “more gentle on the eyes.” He added that 2D at 48fps also looks “fantastic.”
The clarity Jackson described was visible in the presentation, but since the clips were described as “a work in progress” Warner did not screen footage that was fully color-corrected, or featuring completed VFX work.

And if I could sum up the collective reaction, I’d say it’s something along the lines of “OH MY GOD A WITCH, BURN IT!”

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Great news, people of India! BOOBS!

When Titanic first released here in 1997, India’s Censor Board ordered cuts in the famous painting scene where Leonardo DiCaprio (Jack Dawson) sketches Kate Winslet (Rose DeWitt Bukater) wearing just an emerald necklace.

The upcoming April 5 3D re-release of the James Cameron-directed film has now been passed without any cuts – according to the film’s India distributors Fox Star Studios – receiving a clear U/A (or Parental Guidance) censor rating similar to the MPAA’s PG-13 rating. [THR]

To recap: When the film first came out, India’s Censor Board demanded that the scene featuring a two-dimensional topless Kate Winslet be cut from the film because it was unacceptably titillating, but now, fifteen years later, they have determined that the 3D version — where her breasts will almost literally be JUMPING OUT OF THE SCREEN AND INTO THE VIEWERS’ PERSONAL SPACE — is A-OK. This is what we here at Film Drunk like to refer to as progress.

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Here’s my favorite part of this story: that headline, while somewhat misleading, is 100% not a joke. From The Hollywood Reporter:

Magical Elves, the powerhouse producing duo of Dan Cutforth and Jane Lipsitz behind some of the biggest reality and non-scripted TV, is in negotiations to direct Paramount’s Katy Perry movie. [...]

The Perry movie will be a 3D concert-documentary movie hybrid that will aim to show Perry’s life on-stage and off-stage and give a fan’s perspective on the pop singer.

Wow, a 3D concert movie about a pop star? Sounds like a pretty big risk. The people in charge would really look like *boobs* if this fails. I mean, they’re dipping into the war *chest* to spring for 3D, and for what? I can’t think of a single reason a documentary about Katy Perry would require it. Beyond the financial risks, there’s also the physical effects 3D can have on the viewer, namely dizziness and loss of appetite. My prediction is that this movie will go ***bust***, and the Magical Elves will suffer a dramatic fall from grace. I hope they saved their money, or they’ll be stuck buying clothes off the ***RACK***, or maybe even living on the street and peeing into ***JUGS***.

I will be sure to keep you abreast of further news as it develops.

Last year’s 3D softcore success story out of China, 3D Sex & Zen: Extreme Ecstasy (incorrectly identified as the “first” 3D porno), is set to get a sequel. 63-year-old Hong Kong film producer Stephen Shiu has announced plans for 4D Sex and Zen: Slayer of a Thousand from the Mysterious East. A four-dimensional porno?!? Does this mean I can finally go back in time and have sex with high school girls to make up for all the time I spent not having sex in high school? WAIT, NO, I WANT TO BUTTF*CK HITLER!

The 63-year-old producer revealed that he aims to achieve this by installing vibrating seats in cinemas that will be screening the 4D movie, a technology which had already been introduced in Hong Kong, and which will serve to enhance the viewers’ experience. [Yahoo]

God dammit. FOR THE LAST TIME, PEOPLE, A SENSE IS NOT THE SAME THING AS A DIMENSION. You can’t promise people a journey into another dimension and then just tickle their vagina. Well, you can, but I’m pretty sure you’d have to give them their money back if they asked. That said, I like the idea of a bunch of Chinese people traveling hours by bus from the mainland to sit in a movie theater with a room full of other Chinese people wearing goggles while a vibrating chair gives them orgasms. It’s like the biggest-budget episode of Real Sex of all time.

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