I love kid’s movies from the 1990s. There were a rack of them made when I was growing up that catered to 8-14 year olds that were just about perfect. The Sandlot, the Mighty Ducks movies, Little Giants, etc. One of my favorites was 3 Ninjas — a film about three brothers (nicknamed Rocky, Colt, and Tum Tum) who were trained to be ninjas by their martial arts master grandfather. In the movie, the three brothers are put to the test and (SPOILER ALERT) end up saving the day. In the process, despite being 8-14 years old themselves, they manage to repeatedly disarm and overcome fully grown adult ninjas, often who outnumber them. I always figured these were the same sh-tty ninjas from the Foot Clan. While the basic idea of children beating up adult, armed ninjas is patently ridiculous, it is not the most bonkers part of the movie. That would be the above scene.

Over Christmas break I rewatched 3 Ninjas, because I am an insomniac and it was On Demand. This scene, where Rocky and Colt take on some schoolyard bullies in a game of basketball blew me away. It’s horrible and amazing, like Katy Perry singing topless. So I yoinked a bunch of screencaps and am going to break this down. That’s right. IT’S A SLIDESHOW PEOPLE!

(*air guitar*)

(*crickets*)
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Hollywood is making a movie about the origins of the environmental activist group Greenpeace, so naturally they hired Jon Turtletaub, the guy who directed 3 Ninjas.

Set primarily in the late 1970s and early 1980s, story will be told through the eyes of the controversial organization’s charismatic founding members, Bob Hunter and Rex Weyler. The duo led an eccentric group of pacifists, ecologists, musicians, teachers, sailors, and scientists as they attempted — often successfully — to disrupt American and French nuclear bomb tests, Japanese and Russian whaling ships and Norwegian infant harp seal hunters.

Holy sh-t, Norway lets their infants hunt harp seals?  Scandinavia is so metal.

Two books will shape the narrative: Weyler’s “Greenpeace: How a Group of Ecologists, Journalists, and Visionaries Changed the World” and Hunter’s “Warriors of the Rainbow: A Chronicle of the Greenpeace Movement.” [Editor's Note: Gayest. Title. Ever. Might as well call yourselves "Sparkleponies of Justice."] The producers are looking to hire a writer for the project and have had early discussions with Aaron Sorkin. [Variety]

It’s easy to make fun of them for hiring the director of 3 Ninjas to shoot a film about complex issues of environmental activism, but I realize it’s a little unfair.  After all, he also directed The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, National Treasure, The Kid, and Cool Runnings.  “Hooray, we turned back a whaling ship!”
(*Air guitar, record scratch, bike horn, bass riff from Seinfeld*)
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