Cane toads are a lot like my ex girlfriends, so naturally I feel justified wearing this name tag (*points to sticker on chest: Hello my name is TOAD EXPERT*). But really, the similarities are uncanny: they both leave slimy residue behind, neither can seem to keep a steady job or drive a vehicle safely and, oh yeah I almost forgot, they’re f–king poisonous, too.

Unveiling what would be only the second 3-D title to ever play at Sundance, Tuesday night, director Mark Lewis eagerly introduced his cane toad documentary Cane Toads: The Conquest. Again, for all of our readers in the “unaffected by toads” category, let me repeat: IT’S A F–KING 3-D MOVIE ABOUT TOADS!

The irreverent docu is a follow-up to Lewis’ 1988 “Cane Toads: An Unnatural History,” about the introduction of the poisonous animals to Australia and the ravages wrought by the pesky amphibians. “Conquest” explores the toads’ migration and further destruction in the years since.

Tuesday night’s premiere was attended by curious buyers, including Harvey Weinstein and his staff from the Weinstein Co. “Conquest” drew a raucous reaction from the packed room. [Variety]

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(Eric the Irreverent Dog didn’t clean his glasses either, because Eric just doesn’t give a sh-t.)

Few things are filthier than using your own mouth to feed circulated dollar bills through a stripper’s ass crack, and thanks to James Cameron, you’ve probably already worn one of those filthier things on your face.

I’m speaking, of course, about 3-D glasses at the box office or as I prefer to call them: zit-on-bridge-of-nose goggles. With the success of Avatar, 3-D attendance has obviously boomed in recent weeks, but what the hell happens to your Paul Pfeiffer spectacles after you’ve dropped them in the return bin?

They usually get washed or recycled (that’s cool, I usually don’t return your glasses anyway. -Ed.)…Reusable glasses are generally collected in trays and then cleaned in a dishwasherlike machine. [slate.com]

Oh cool, so what you’re telling me is that generally speaking, theaters usually will have a clean pair for me to wear…usually, of course, generally speaking.
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A 3-D ad for Monsters vs. Aliens (latest trailer here) will air during the Super Bowl February 1st and again later in the month during a special 3-D broadcast of Chuck. In other news, recording commercials and Chuck is a great way to confuse the f-ck out of your Tivo.

The glasses [which you'll need to fully experience the commercial, of course], which use the new Intel InTru 3D [the newfangled type of 3-D] and ColorCode 3-D, will be distributed free at Pepsi/ SoBe Life Water displays at 28,000 locations including grocery, drug and electronics stores and big-box retailers [like your mom].

It seems like Pepsi completely fell off the pop culture map for a while there, but now they’re back with a new logo, which just so happens to look a lot like the Barack Obama logo.  Check out our new flavor, Yes We Cran! A little game I like to play is to go to restaurants that only serve Pepsi and order a Diet Coke, and then when they say “Is Diet Pepsi okay?” I just shriek at the top of my lungs and sprint out the door.

[Source]

The new Monsters vs. Aliens (Dreamworks, first animated movie shot entirely in 3-D, etc.) trailer opens on “Ginormica”, played by Reese Witherspoon, who seems to spontaneously quadruple in size on her wedding day. So wait, this makes her abnormal how? HEYO!

Also: anyone else chub a little when she burst the seams on her dress and her garter shot off? …Just me then?  

Judging by the number of exclamation points in emails I get, many FilmDrunkards are quite excited about Coraline, the 3-D animated film from Nightmare Before Christmas director Henry Selick with soundtrack by They Might Be Giants. They recently released 26 new posters to 26 different websites of which FilmDrunk was not one because God forbid anyone give me anything or make my life any easier you crummy jerkfaces.  Luckily my computer still has a “Save-As” function so here they are.  The letter G is particularly creepy.  Also note that each poster has a fun little two-line rhyme.  I like rhyming.  According to a recent double-blind study by leading scientists, rhyming makes poetry at least 86% less “faggy”.

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