It’s Jack and giant Slayer, get it???

If you were barely aware of which movies were even opening this weekend, you weren’t the only one. The top 12 were down 38 percent from last year, “led” by Bryan Singer’s Jack the Giant Slayer, which earned $28 million, which wouldn’t be so bad if the budget hadn’t been $200 million. Under the circumstances, it’s quasi-Eddie Murphy-esque. The John Carter comparisons abound, but it didn’t seem like Jack the Giant Slayer was marketed half as hard.

21 and Over, meanwhile, didn’t even break the $10 million mark, causing many to wonder if the Asian-guy-has-to-get-to-his-med-school interview plot device isn’t as classic as once believed. God, I hope nothing happens to “I’m late for a big meeting with the Japanese.”  The consequences for hack comedy writers could be devastating. Anyway, 21 and Over didn’t cost much, but it was still a disappointment, considering its opening was less than half of Project X. But hey, that’s what you get for not emphasizing the nudity in your marketing. Project X‘s trailers had tits and fire. 21 and Over just had an Asian guy yelling that he was Spider-Man.

1. Jack The Giant Slayer (Warner Bros.) – $28 million, budget: $195m
2. Identity Thief (Universal) – $9.7 million ($107 mil.), budget: $35m
3. 21 and Over (Relativity) – $9 million, budget: $13m
4. The Last Exorcism II (CBS Films) – $8 million
5. Snitch (Lionsgate/Summit) – $7.7 million ($24.4 mil.)
6. Safe Haven (Relativity) – $6.3 million ($57 mil.)
7. Escape From Planet Earth (The Weinstein Company) – $6.2 million ($43.2 mil.)
8. Silver Linings Playbook  (The Weinstein Company) – $5.9 million ($115.5 mil.)
9. A Good Day To Die Hard (Fox) – $4.5 million ($59.6 mil.)
10. Dark Skies (The Weinstein Company/Dimension) – $3.5 million ($13.4 mil.) [Indiewire, BoxOfficeMojo]

Do you realize that Identity Thief is the number one movie of 2013? I know the year is young, but seriously, Identity Thief.

And then the juiced up bouncer jacked him right in the face.

Opening Everywhere: 21 and Over, Jack the Giant Slayer, The Last Exorcist Part II

FilmDrunk Suggests: Haven’t you seen the commercials for 21 and Over? It looks hilaaaaaaaaaaarious. I mean, it’s totally going to be an accurate portrayal of college life that has never been told before. I, for one, can’t wait. I’m even bringing a bucket of ice, because I expect to laugh my dick off.

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This week, I was planning to lead with Guy Pearce’s new Iron Man 3 poster, where he’s dramatically pulling off his sunglasses like David Caruso in CSI Miami. I like to lead with a movie people have heard of so they’ll click through, and that seemed like the obvious choice. But then I saw White T here, and it simply could not be denied. Just look at this goddamned masterpiece. Do I know what it’s about? Not really. But I know it’s got Weensie from Old School and his similarly portly brother dressed in matching, sockless plaid shants ensembles fighting over a t-shirt with the tagline “Big Dreams…Big Seams.” What does this white t represent? Why would they be fighting over the same white t when they’re both already wearing identical white tees? Is it a battle over who gets a change of clothes? A metaphorical struggle for identity? I can’t say. Point being, this poster is practically bloated with ambiguity, which doesn’t soften my desire to see it one bit. This, my friend, is how you sell the sizzle, not the steak.

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