Ham it up all you want, Stiller. I’m still watching that old dude pick his nose instead of watching you.

There are a lot of new DVDs this week, and The Watch (pictured above) is just one of them. There’s also the latest Pixar flick and the latest Oliver Stone film.  There are films starring Christopher Walken, John Travolta, Chris Rock, and Sean Astin.  There are vamps and vampires, dark horses, devil’s angels, British thieves and British prison guards. We’ve got two Dove Foundation-approved films, and one of them even stars an Oscar-nominee. It’s an exciting week to watch films on DVD -especially if you don’t limit your viewing choices to this week’s admittedly mediocre new releases.

The DVDs:
The Watch
Brave
Savages
Vamps
2 Days In New York
Dark Horse
The Queen Of Versailles
Natural Selection
Highway
Amazing Love: The Story Of Hosea
Comes A Bright Day
Lukewarm
Prairie Love
A Beer Tale
Screwed
Dust Up
The Ghostmaker
3 Times A Charm
Devil’s Angel
Vampires: Brighter In Darkness

One of this week’s movies has a loose tie to The Beatles.  If you want to know which one, continue reading.  Curious which Oscar-nominee is making Dove-approved films now?  Continue reading. Want to watch a movie right this very second?

Streaming
Click here for the Netflix suggestions, but if you do, you’ll never find out which film involves a cannibalistic drug lord -unless you come back and read the article after you’ve watched your Netflix movie, in which case, we’re all good.  But seriously, why the rush? Read the rest of this entry »

"Which one of you guys tripled parked your Bentleys?"

Chris Rock was at Sundance last week to promote his new film, 2 Days in New York, directed by Julie Delpy, whose best movie was Killing Zoe and I will fight people to the death if they believe otherwise. While Rock did the normal PR legwork for his new film, he also dropped a little nugget of terror into our laps when MTV asked him about the status of the completely unnecessary Grown Ups 2.

/film has reported that Grown Ups 2 already has a set release date of July 12, 2013, but Rock raised a few eyebrows when he admitted that he doesn’t know if his upcoming project with Adam Sandler is actually a sequel. Yeah, because that makes all the difference as to whether it will suck or not.

I don’t know yet. I definitely have been called about my availability. But no one’s told me about a script. When Adam Sandler gives you a call and asks, ‘What are you doing in June? Make sure you don’t do nothing in June!’ So I think we’re getting ready to get the gang back together. I don’t know if it’s going to be ‘Grown Ups 2′ or another movie, though.

Who cares? It’s happening regardless. Happy Madison is Skynet. We’ve allowed Sandler and his friends to amass such wealth that they can do whatever they want. Grown Ups made more than $270 million worldwide. Even if a sequel makes half that, they still win and stock their garages with more Maseratis.

If they want a new movie, they get it. A TV show for Rob Schneider? Done. A Broadway musical starring Peter Dante and a chorus of stoned frat boys making hand farts? Book it. This is why we can’t have nice things, world.

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