Today G4 has the trailer for Roland Emmerich’s 10,000 BC.  I always thought being a caveman would be a pretty kickass gig.  Come to find out, they had white guys with dread locks back then too.  What the hell.  Next you’ll tell me they had club promoters and guys that listen to techno in their cars.

10,000 BC (more like 10,000 BM. Boosh.) releases March 17th.  I’ve never heard of any of the actors in it, but one of the characters is named "mammoth-hunting girl" which I’m pretty sure is a porn title.

Roland Emmerich is like the thinking man’s Uwe Boll. 

This is the new poster for Roland Emmerich’s newest movie, 10,000 BC.  Emmerich is the guy who did Independence Day, Godzilla, and The Day After Tomorrow, so you gotta figure this one probably follows the same "Green Screen – Reaction Shot, Green Screen – Reaction Shot" structure. 

According to the bible, 10,000 BC is the time when Adam and Eve rode around on dinosaurs, eating apples and knowin’ each other in freaky positions that the snake taught them.  Obviously, that doesn’t seem to be going on here.  So if you believe in Jesus, or maybe you’re on the fence but still fear his wrath, you probably should avoid this one.

But theology aside, I learned a few things from this poster.  1. White guys with dreads have been around for a long time (when will we learn!) 2. Cavemen had spears that Predator would envy – probably made of bone. One of the earliest forms of humor was to run up to your kill, poke it with your spear and go, "Look at me, guys, I’m boning a mammoth, LOL!"  and 3. Cavemen had not yet mastered "throwing".  Seriously, his thumb’s on the wrong side.  That’s not how you throw a spear.  Unless you’re, like, a Polack or something.