Here I was thinking that we could use a real feel-good story today to send us into the weekend, and it’s as if my psychic blogger abilities sent out a cry for help to the rest of the Interwebs. Thankfully, our buddies at College Humor responded with a video that they recently helped record with Hugh Jackman for the Harlem Villages Academies’ new campaign: “Teachers are Superstars”. Per the Harlem Village Academies’ website:

We want students to become intellectually sophisticated, wholesome in character, avid readers, independent thinkers and compassionate individuals who make a meaningful contribution to society.

And that’s pretty awesome, because kids who read are page views become adults who achieve. I read that on a bumper sticker actually, but I wouldn’t have known how to read it if it weren’t for awesome teachers. So we tip our cap to Jackman for his support of such a wonderful cause, and we can only hope that this will convince Channing Tatum to make our series of videos about how bloggers deserve less restraining orders.

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"Yo, feel the vibrations."

The first official trailer for Magic Mike gave us insight into Channing Tatum’s titular character as a guy who shakes his beef stick for money but builds coffee tables because his heart tells him to. Now the official international trailer offers a little more insight into the incredible world of male stripping in the Sunshine State. Because as I can attest, Florida is full of nothing but wealthy, young, attractive girls and absolutely nothing else.

In this new trailer, we get to know Alex Pettyfer’s character, the Kid, a little better as he latches on to C-Tates and says that special phrase that all dudes say to each other: “We should be best friends.” Seriously, this movie looks more amazing with every new second of footage we witness.

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When it comes to Arnold Schwarzenegger videos, it’s hard to tell if I’m looking at someone’s brand new effort or if it’s something that I’ve seen a thousand times before. But one thing remains true – I don’t care, just keep making them, people. The latest Arnie remix comes from XXXPLICITRECORDZ and it focuses on Schwarzenegger’s greatest work with children that doesn’t involve secretly making them. *chest bumps the Predator*

“Who is Your Daddy” is the name of today’s hot Governator remix and it’s bringing us back to 1990, with slap bracelets, torn acid-washed jeans and Kindergarten Cop. But I can’t help but wonder if this remix holds up to some of the other classics. Let’s examine after the jump, shall we?

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Between Marvel’s The Avengers doing naughty, naughty things to the box office record book and The Dark Knight Rises presumably set to do the same, it’s safe to say that Columbia Pictures is hoping that comic book movie enthusiasts are going to have enough gas in their tanks when The Amazing Spider-Man hits theaters on July 3. Or at least Columbia is hoping that the bitter after-taste left by the mess that was Spider-Man 3 isn’t still clouding moviegoer judgement.

Either way, if there’s one thing The Amazing Spider-Man has going for it, it’s that Emma Stone is playing the female lead instead of Kirsten Dunst this time around, and I’ll admit that’s a hell of a first step in making up for Emo Spidey. Needless to say, Stone and her on-screen and real life Peter Parker, Andrew “Scarfield” Garfield are making the promo rounds for the new Spidey, and they recently stopped by a German TV show.

And that’s it, that’s all I know about this adorable clip of Stone and Scarfield singing about Spider-Man in German. In related news, “99 Red Balloons” is still the greatest song ever written.

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Worse than a Dutch oven.

Between Madea’s Family Reunion, Madea Goes to Jail and Madea’s Big Happy Family, Tyler Perry has grossed roughly $207 million just at the box office. That doesn’t include his other dozen or so films that have all raised somewhere between $35 and $90 million each, but it’s all the reason he needs to unleash yet another tale of the tough-talking, cross-dressing grandmother. This time, though, Madea is helping her FBI agent nephew, who needs her to keep an eye on Eugene Levy’s family, as the mob is after them, hence Madea’s Witness Protection. Go ahead, camp out for your tickets now.

So why then is the mob about to taste Madea’s pain?

For years, George Needleman (Levy), the gentle CFO of a Wall Street investment bank, has been living with his head in the clouds. His frustrated second wife, Kate (Richards), has reached her limit taking care of his senile mother, Barbara (Roberts). His teenage daughter, Cindy (Danielle Campbell), is spoiled beyond hope and his seven-year-old son, Howie (Devan Leos), wishes his father were around more. But George is finally forced to wake up when he learns that his firm, Lockwise Industries, has been operating a mob-backed Ponzi scheme – and that he’s been set up as the fall guy.

Huh? Wha? How did I get out on this building’s ledge?

Facing criminal charges and death threats from the mob, George and his entire family are put under witness protection in the safest place that Brian (Perry), a federal prosecutor from Atlanta, can think of…

His Aunt Madea’s house down South.

*repeated record scratch*

As a result, Madea and her live-in brother, Uncle Joe (Perry), find themselves managing a completely dysfunctional family from Connecticut. But as George tries to solve the mystery behind Lockwise’s finances, Madea whips the Needlemans into shape using her hilarious brand of tough love. And together, they realize they just might have what it takes to unite George’s family, outsmart the mob and change everyone’s lives for the better.

What I have a problem with is the idea of the FBI leaving an important witness and his family in the hands of a convicted felon. This is how our justice system falls apart, damn it. But perhaps the brand new trailer can give us some insight into the hilarity of Perry’s latest trip to the ATM.

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Her pronouncing Coke “cock,” really shouldn’t be this funny, and yet it gets funnier every time. v[via BlameItOnTheVoices]

MORNING LINKS
It’s our 100th Frotcast, featuring SB Nation’s Matt Ufford, Sh*t My Dad Says’ Justin Halpern, Laremy and Burnsy. If you make it to the end, you can hear a story about Kate Bosworth taking a spite-poop in a cabana. MUST LISTEN! |Frotcast|

This Week in Posters & Stills: James Bond, Bill Murray in Plaid, Spazzy Will Smith |Film Drunk|

‘Community’ Season Finale Live Discussion With Jim Rash: Dean Pelton In the House |Warming Glow|

Not quite as epic as the fight between Superman and Doomsday [via fckyeahdementia]

The 10 Most Interesting Rock Star Sex Secrets From Groupie Dirt |UPROXX|

Which Major League Baseball Player Tried To Crash A Porn Star’s Birthday Party? |With Leather|

Surviving The Struggle: 20 Motivational Rap Songs |Smoking Section|

‘Prometheus’ Drops A Spoiler-Filled Promo And Poster |Gamma Squad|

John Travolta Allegedly Tried To Fellate Jeff Conaway While He Was Sleeping |TheSuperficial|

This Is What It Looks Like When Jeffrey Dahmer Signs Your Yearbook |Buzzfeed|

Gilbert Gottfried Reads Fifty Shades of Grey |College Humor|

In Case You Were Wondering, Here’s Katy Perry’s New Look |IDLYITW|

Kristen Wiig’s Sexual Confession To Mick Jagger |HuffPost Comedy|

10 Uninhabited Islands and Why Nobody Lives on Them |Mentalfloss|

An Old Man Shows You How To Do Something |Videogum|

First clip from the set of the US Sherlock. Looks appalling. |FARK|

Boxing Lessons of the Day |TheDailyWhat|

Honest Trailers: Transformers |ScreenJunkies|

Fantastic Wonder Woman Cosplay Out of Nowhere |Unreality|

Nick Offerman Would Do Anything For the Cubs to Win the World Series |Brobible|

The 7 Types of People Who Watch Game of Thrones |HolyTaco|

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