In a move that seems inconceivable for a man who’s starred in at least two low-budget movies a year since the 80s and to my knowledge is the only celebrity to have appeared on both Celebrity Apprentice and Celebrity Wife Swap, Gary Busey has filed for bankruptcy. Busey’s claim, filed yesterday, states that he has less than $50,000 in assets, while he owes between $500,000 and a million dollars to a variety of creditors, including the IRS, Wells Fargo, L.A. County Waterworks Districts, a storage company, and possibly a woman who sued him for allegedly attacking her at an airport in Tulsa. Women, can’t live with ‘em, can’t headbutt ‘em at a baggage claim.

So many debts, but does a briefcase filled with highlighters and spare change count for nothing?? These markers once belonged to the Shah of Iran, Butthorn!

67-year-old Busey filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy in California yesterday. Busey checked the box showing he has less than $50,000 in assets … and somewhere between $500,000 and $1,000,000 in various debts.

Interestingly, we shot Gary out in Malibu on Monday — a day before he filed — and he didn’t seem all that fazed by the whole bankruptcy thing … dancing his face off in a parking lot (video below). [TMZ]

His manager Ron Sampson wrote in a statement the filing provides Busey “a new and clear path” to personal and career success. [AP]

Busey later added, “That’s right, I’m ready to turn over a new leaf. I’ve put all my financial affairs in the capable hands of my manager, Ron Sampson, the smartest goddamned St. Bernard I’ve ever met. C’MERE BOY, COME AND GET SOME TACOS!”

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So the headline here pretty much says it all: Zombie Ass: Toilet of the Dead (also my nickname in high school) has a new poster. I just thought you guys would want to know. I’d like to think the poop-faced toilet man at the bottom left corner was a deliberate visual reference to Nic Cage in Wicker Man.

AAAAUGHHH, NOT THE PEE! IT’S IN MY EYES AUUUUUUGH NOT THE PEE!

[Thanks to Austin, our FilmDrunkard in Japan, for the picture]

Yes, this has a trailer, and you can watch it below. You’ll probably never believe this about a Japanese movie, but it involves schoolgirls.

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"Reedo boy go away! Stay out my store!"

The Jaden Smith/Jackie Chan Karate Kid remake was partially financed by the Chinese government (see: China Film Group Corps) and went on to gross $360 million worldwide, so why wouldn’t they want to make another one? The entire enterprise was the shameless sequel’s greatest success story. It was set in China and starred famous Kung Fu practitioner Jackie Chan, and they STILL called it KARATE Kid. Now Sony has wrangled poor Zak Penn (X-Men 2, Incredible Hulk), who’s probably a talented screenwriter, to do more of their dirty work. The Republicans bitch about China owning our economy every six minutes, and not one peep about this? Come on, guys, there’s low-hanging fruit here. Snatch the low-hanging fruit from this 12-year-old African-American boy– okay I probably could’ve worded this better.

Columbia Pictures has tapped “The Incredible Hulk” scribe Zak Penn to rewrite its untitled sequel to 2010′s surprise hit “The Karate Kid.”
Ethan Reiff and Cyrus Voris were hired to write a sequel just weeks after director Harald Zwart’s “Karate Kid” reboot took in $55.6 million domestically over its opening weekend. China-set pic went on to gross $359 million worldwide.
While plot details remain under wraps, original stars Jaden Smith and Jackie Chan are expected to reprise their roles, though no deals are currently in place. [Variety]

Phew, thank goodness, I don’t know what I’d do if Jaden Smith didn’t return. I just love it when famous people use their children as an extension of their personal fashion sense. Yo go, Will! You’ve imbued your progeny with such “swag!” Would that ALL of our children could one day wear sneakers with their own pictures on the side. Bullying would end, self-esteem would reign, and we’d all follow our dreams and groove in one groovy drum circle. I hope this trend continues, and three or four years from now we get to see Sly Stallone’s granddaughter, Dakota Lundgren, and Mickey Rourke’s dog in The Expendablets.

History has not been kind to Star Wars Episode I, mostly because it sucked. But that won’t stop Lucasfilm from re-releasing it in 3D, which they’ve been promoting constantly with an extended trailer on Cartoon Network. Luckily this turd cloud has a silver lining, because the folks at Aggrogate decided to re-record the whole thing as death metal.

I improved it by adding some death metal vocals and a Cannibal Corpse soundtrack. Yes, that’s every line of the trailer re-recorded with a death metal voice. You can tell it’s death metal singing because you can’t understand most of it. That’s how you know it’s working. [Aggrogate]

I have to say, I find the death metal version strangely tolerable. George Lucas should re-release the entire series as a death metal video. He’d probably have to re-title it CORPSE F*CKED BY A ROBOT or something, but changing his work after the fact doesn’t seem to be an issue for him.

You can see the original TV spot below. The sound R2 makes after Jar-Jar Binks electrocutes his face kind of sounds like a wet fart, which seems fitting.

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The trailer for The Bourne Legacy, the fourth movie of the Bourne series with new star Jeremy Renner and new director Tony Gilroy (Michael Clayton, Duplicity), appears below. It’s still called “Bourne,” but Renner plays a new punchy amnesia guy named Aaron Cross (not an unacknowledged actor switcharoo a la Bewitched). If you’re anything like Burnsy, you’re probably super duper excited right now. If you’re like me, you’re probably thinking “More like BORED legacy, am I right?” Seriously though, these movies are like Phil Collins’ keynote address at an oatmeal convention, and they’ve made four of them. I liked the secret-agent-with-amnesia plot better when it was called The Long Kiss Goodnight.

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Limp Bizkit split from their record label last month and Fred Durst been directing films since 2007, last an inspirational drama about a girl quarterback conquering pop warner starring Ice Cube, and next rumored to be a “hillbilly Pulp Fiction” starring Paul Walker. Point being, he belongs to the world of film now, so you can look forward to my breathless coverage of everything he does.

Most recently, the pride of Jacksonville hit karaoke night with Nick Swardson and Cedric Yarbrough from Reno 911! Not even the person in charge of hiring GoDaddy girls could dream up a combination that random.

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