Joe Francis On The Jury That Convicted Him: ‘You’re Retarded… You Should Be Shot Dead’

Written by Ashley Burns / 05.22.13

On Monday, Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis was found guilty of three misdemeanor counts of false imprisonment, one misdemeanor count of assault and one misdemeanor count of dissuading a witness, all related to a 2011 incident with three women that he met at a night club. With his sentencing set for July 9, the 40-year old faces a maximum of five years in prison, according to prosecutors, but it’s more likely that he won’t get any time. Either way, he doesn’t seem too concerned, because he’s heading to India for a vacation.

But before he left, Francis actually agreed to an exclusive interview with the Hollywood Reporter to discuss, among other things, the claims by the three women that he forcefully kept them in his home and assaulted one when they protested to him trying to separate them. While the entire interview is worth the read, he managed to get his thoughts on the jury that convicted him on video, and I honestly don’t know if this is real of a Funny or Die clip.

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What’s The Deal With The Fast & Furious Movies: An Explainer

Written by Danger Guerrero / 05.22.13


Fast & Furious 6 opens this weekend. With a runtime of 130 minutes and Super Bowl commercials full of tanks and neck punches and cars driving out through the nose of exploding airplanes, it appears to be so huge and filled with big dumb action that it will make Pain & Gain look like Amour. I have never been more excited about anything in my entire life.

But how did we get here? How did a franchise that started over a decade ago with Paul Walker and Vin Diesel racing for pink slips turn into a series of globetrotting heists where everything anyone touches turns into a fireball you could see from space? And didn’t Han die a few movies ago? Is he a ghost?

Well, luckily, as one of the world’s foremost experts on the subject, I am here to explain all of that to you. Kind of. Mostly I am here to make stupid jokes. If you learn anything at all in the process, let’s just call that a bonus.

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‘The Mortal Instruments’ Release Has Been Bumped Up Two Days

Written by Ashley Burns / 05.22.13

I don’t know how I managed to exclude The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones from my Summer Movie Guide, but it probably has something to do with having never heard of it until yesterday. Either way, the big screen adaptation of the best-selling book series was originally set to be released on Friday, August 23, but Sony Pictures has gone ahead and bumped it up to Wednesday, August 21 for some unknown reason.

The original release date isn’t heavy with competition, as the Simon Pegg comedy The World’s End and horror You’re Next don’t seem to pose much of a threat to the tween-adult fantasy crowd, and the move to Wednesday actually puts it closer to Kick-Ass 2, which hits theaters on Aug. 16.

Either way, the book’s author and presumed Dukes of Hazzard character, Cassandra Clare, is excited about the two-day difference.

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Vince Vaughn’s ‘Delivery Man’ Has A Trailer

Written by Ashley Burns / 05.22.13

What better way to follow up the latest and final Man of Steel trailer than with the teaser for Vince Vaughn’s latest dip into the everyman’s job title pool? Yes, I know that a collection of Kate Upton GIFs would be exponentially better, but it’s not Friday and certain restraining orders won’t permit that. Instead, you’ll have to settle for the first trailer for Delivery Man, which is actually a double entendre of sorts. So much for thinking that Vaughn’s titles are one-dimensional.

As for the plot:

An affable underachiever finds out he’s fathered 533 children through anonymous donations to a fertility clinic 20 years ago. Now he must decide whether or not to come forward when 142 of them file a lawsuit to reveal his identity.

Of course he has to come forward. How else will he find out that the daughter of the single mom he’s been dating is… actually his daughter!!! At least, that’s my guess. I’m probably right, but I don’t want to spoil anything for the Academy voters.

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Check Out The Final ‘Man Of Steel’ Trailer

Written by Ashley Burns / 05.22.13

In case you weren’t sold by the first, second, fifth, second to last, foreign language, or Taiwanese News Agency trailers, here is the final Man of Steel trailer to convince you to go see it when the film is finally released on June 14. You know, in case you choose not to go back and see The Internship for a fourth time, because you just can’t get enough of that zany Vince Vaughn-Owen Wilson bromance.

In this latest trailer, we get the full General Zod treatment as he’s all like, “Stop hiding, Kal El” and Superman is all, “Come on, Zod, everyone calls me Superman here”. And then Superman yells a bunch while Zod makes us puny humans pay for hiding the Man of Steel.

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Ghostbusters 3 is Dan Aykroyd’s white whale

Written by Vince Mancini / 05.21.13

Jesus, how long has Dan Aykroyd been talking about Ghostbusters 3 now? Five years? Six? The whole thing has been on hold all this time waiting for Bill Murray to sign off on it, which he has to do for the project to move forward. There were earlier script drafts in which Murray played a big part, but it’s unclear if he ever read them. That doesn’t seem to be the case now, but far as I know, the project is still in the same holding pattern. But that hasn’t stopped Dan Aykroyd from talking about it like it’s a done deal. In April, he told the press that it “could” start shooting in early 2014, but it’s hard to know whether to believe him, because he’s been talking about it like it’s just around the corner for half a decade now, and he might be legitimately crazy.

All that said, Aykroyd was on Larry King Live this week, and if you’re willing to try to kick the football he’s happy to hold it for you.

“It’s based on new research that’s being done in particle physics by the young men and women at Columbia University,” he tells King. “…Basically, there’s research being done that I can say that the world or the dimension that we live in, our four planes of existence, length, height, width and time, become threatened by some of the research that’s being done. Ghostbusters — new Ghostbusters — have to come and solve the problem.”

Unfortunately, it’s looking quite likely that Bill Murray will not reprise his role as Peter Venkman in any way, shape or form, although Aykroyd is still optimistic for a last-minute change of heart.

“There will be a hole for him,” Aykroyd says of his friend and co-star. “If Billy wants to walk in the door and be in the movie, we will find a place.” [transcript via ComingSoon]

Oh boy, talking about an unfinished script, with an uncast cast. Lots of “ifs” and “whens” in there too. Aykroyd also talked about Behind the Candelabra, which he’s in, and said that he’s seen four UFOs. Honestly, I think Dan Aykroyd just likes having someone to talk to. I just worry that he’s going to end up in a straitjacket somewhere, muttering to his crystal skull, Wilson about the great Ghostbusters cast they’re assembling.

“Oh, don’t fret, Wilson, come here, let me drink those negative thoughts away.”

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