This Cat Loves Ice Cream. Its Owner Loves It |Video Gum|

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Morning Links 

Watching GIFs In Reverse Makes Everything Better |UPROXX|

Guy Fieri’s New Book Appears To Be Every Bit The Literary Abortion You Thought It Would Be |

“If I showed you all the money shots in Pacific Rim, you’d have a 70-minute orgasm.” |Film Drunk|

The Arrested Development Frozen Banana Stand Popped Up At Yankee Stadium |With Leather|

‘Star Trek Into Darkness’ Is Great, Until… |Gamma Squad|

#DMXWeek – Earl Simmons’ 5 Best Movie Roles |Smoking Section|

Gallery: Evan Mathis, Guy Who Pees On Things |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

The Stages of Being a Kanye West Fan at a Kanye West Show |Grantland|

11 Strange Movie Job Titles—Explained! |Mental Floss|

7 Technology-Friendly Sex Positions |College Humor|

Tracing The Office’s rise from midseason also-ran to nine-season behemoth |AV Club|

Miley Cyrus Wasn’t Even The Hottest Person At The Maxim HOT 100 Party |The Superficial|

The 10 Most Anticipated Cable Drama Series of 2014 |Pajiba|

15 Most Ridiculous Zombie Movies |Next Movie|

10 Ambercrombie & Fitch Advertisements We’d Like To See |Pop Hangover|

Guillermo Del Toro’s Pacific Rim has a new trailer out, and, as Del Toro told the audience at the Los Angeles Times Hero Complex Film Festival where he premiered it over the weekend:

If I showed you all the money shots [in Pacific Rim], you’d have a 70 minute orgasm.

That’s right, a 70-minute orgasm. Or as Sting calls it, “the kind of pathetic, unfulfilling sex I was having back in grade school.”

You can watch the new trailer below, which is basically more of the same. Not that I can complain when “the same” includes giant robots smashing pterodactyl monsters in the face with a battleship. This trailer provides a little more exposition, including the mind-meld link between the robot jox… er, jaeger pilots… and the new tagline, “GO BIG… OR GO EXTINCT.” I would’ve gone with “THIS SUMMER… PUNCH YOUR PROBLEMS IN THE FACE”, but what do I know.

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We were looking (hoping?) for a motive in the case of Kai the Homefree Hitchhiker, currently wanted for the murder of a 73-year-old lawyer in New Jersey, and it seems we may have found one. Kai posted this to his Facebook page on Tuesday (thanks to Jim for the tip):

what would you do if you woke up with a groggy head, metallic taste in your mouth, in a strangers house… walked to the mirror and seen come dripping from the side of your face from your mouth, and started wretching, realizing that someone had drugged, raped, and blown their f*ckin load in you? what would you do?

I’m not sure my answer to this question would be “bash the guy’s skull in with a blunt object,” but then I’ve never found myself in that situation (knock on wood). Obviously, he could just be making up a story to excuse himself for (yet again) cracking someone’s skull, but at the very least, this would seem to be a clue as to what Kai’s legal defense is going to be.

Obviously, the kid’s got some demons, but… I don’t know, I’m not sure if I’m wrong for holding out hope that he’s not a cold-blooded murderer. If the guy who got his brains bashed in turned out to be a rapist, would that make this story better? That’s dark, but yeah, I guess it kind of would. It’s a sad irony that living off the generosity of strangers seems to expose you to the worst of humanity as often as it does to the best. Sorry this post wasn’t very funny.

Well, I kinda figured this story would eventually get really sad, but what could we do? It was fun at the time. The sad twist today brings us is that Internet sensation Kai the Homefree Hitchhiker, he of the “Smash smash suh-mash” hatchet incident in my hometown of Fresno and Jimmy Kimmel appearances, is now wanted for the murder of a 73-year-old attorney in New Jersey.

A man known on the internet as “Kai the Hatchet Wielding Hitchhiker” is now being sought for the murder of a man in northern New Jersey, and police say he was last seen in the area of Haddonfield, Camden County.
The suspect is identified as Caleb Lawrence McGillvary, a 34-year-old who is well known on Facebook and YouTube.
An arrest warrant has been issued for McGillvary in the homicide of Joseph Galfy, Jr. in Clark, New Jersey, WABC-TV in New York reports.
The victim, Joseph Galfy, was found inside his home on Starlite Drive on May 13, 2013 after officers received a call to check on his well-being.
An autopsy performed the following day determined that Galfy died as a result of blunt force trauma, said Union County Prosecutor Theodore J. Romankow.
Based on the investigation, authorities know that McGillvary has cut his hair in an attempt to alter his appearance.
He was last seen at a light rail station in Haddonfield, N.J. area, said Romankow. He is considered to be armed and dangerous.
The Union County Homicide Task Force is working with local, state, and Federal officials to locate McGillvary. He is charged with murder in Union County and bail has been set at $3 million by Superior Court Judge Stuart Peim.

I’m still holding out hope that there’s more to this story than just Kai killing this guy in cold blood. During his first interview, he did reveal that in addition to bashing the psychopathic, racist, attempted car-murderer with a hatchet in the incident that made him famous, that he had previously knocked a guy’s teeth out in an orchard, but only because the guy was talking about raping women. I don’t know how to find a nice middle ground here between not disparaging the dead and hoping that Kai was just being a righteous vigilante again. He did describe bashing a guy in the head with a hatchet as ““f*ckin’ gnarly man. It was like the biggest wave I’ve ever ridden in my life,” so I hope he didn’t just get addicted to the thrill of it.

Is it really so much to ask that the charmingly insane don’t turn out to be just insane-insane? You’re a real downer, reality, you know that?

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Before there was Maude Lebowski and her vaginal art, there was A Clockwork Orange and penis-art-as-murder-weapon (think of the symbolism, bro). And now, thanks to Japanese toy firm Medicom, you can own an almost three-feet-by-one foot piece of movie history/male anatomy, for the low low price of somewhere between $1600 and $2000. Jesus, is that thing made of gold? If I wanted to see a three foot dong, I bet I could pay Michael Fassbender half that to just show it to me.

The prop which appeared in Stanley Kubrick’s movie “A Clockwork Orange” is solidified. It is full reappearance about the object used by the engraver Herman Makkink design at the time of motion picture photography. The product made from FRP of original and allotropy material used as a prop. By an internal special feature, peculiar action shown within a play is reproducible. Size: W800xH340mm. [Amazon]

Two grand seems wildly overpriced, but if I was rich I would buy that in a heartbeat. Small price to pay to be the envy of every hipster costume and Halloween party from now until eternity. Also, if any toy/memorabilia companies are reading this, I’ve been trying to buy the giant lizard tail from Fear and Loathing for more than a f*cking decade now.

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This Zach Braff story is still in the news today, and I’m going to keep using this screencap to accompany it as long as it is. So yesterday, The Hollywood Reporter reported exclusively that Braff had found “financing” for his Kickstarted movie, Wish I Was Here, at Cannes. A lot of people were angry, thinking Braff had been misleading in asking fans to fund his movie to keep from having to take industry money with creative strings attached, and then seeming to turn around and take industry money anyway. It would’ve been easy, and more lucrative, for me to try to stoke outrage in that regard when I reported on it, but I didn’t, because it didn’t seem to me that Braff had specifically broken any promises, and because I’m terrible at making money.

Today Braff tried to clarify what kind of funding he’s getting from Worldview Entertainment. Basically, it all goes back to something called Gap Financing, which I imagine your mom knows all about. (*looks over at joke writers, gives confused shrug*)

— The story out there about the movie being fully funded by some financier is wrong. 

I have said on here and in every interview I’ve done on this project that the film would be fully financed from 3 sources:

• My Kickstarter Backers
• My own money
• Pre-Selling foreign theatrical distribution.

Those three amounts will bring us to a budget of around 5 to 6 million dollars.

— Nothing about the making of this movie has changed. This movie is happening because backers funded it. 

This film would not be happening without my backers. The traditional way is to have a financier put up the money and then sell the foreign rights. What I did, was to say to my fans, “If you and I provide the capital, we don’t need some rich dude dictating how we make the movie; we can then go sell foreign distibution [sic] and we’ll be all the way to our goal. Are you interested in that? So far 38,455 people have said yes.

— What happened today is that a financial company agreed to fill in the gap between what Kickstarter backers have funded and what I have put in, and what the movie will actually cost. Shooting could not happen without this. 

When you pre-sell foreign distribution, you don’t get that money for some time. So you need to go to a company to provide something called “Gap Financing”. They are essentially a bank. Loaning us the “gap” between what we’ve raised together and what we need to actually make the movie. I have no idea where a 10 million dollar number came from but it is wrong and a lie.

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