Did you know that a Google image search for “Madea gif” returns a picture of a man sticking his penis in a cow’s nostril?
Well, everybody, it’s Friday, which means it’s time to discuss what’s debuting this Easter Weekend. Surely the studios will take advantage of everyone being stuck at home with their families, desperate for any excuse to escape for a few measly hours, right? After all, there’s only so much one can stand of Grandmother’s hateful glaring at your Puerto Rican girlfriend. I HAPPEN TO LIKE HER TEARDROP TATTOO, YOU HAUGHTY OLD WENCH. HOW ARE YOU EVEN STILL ALIVE?
In Wide Release: Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Big Happy Family, Water For Elephants, African Cats
Tyler Perry’s Madea’s Big Happy Family: Just as the family is coming apart at the seams, Madea slaps fools upside their heads and then screeches somethin’ ’bout family.
Rotten Tomatoes Score: 33% (based on 6 reviews)
Armchair Analysis: As with many Tyler Perry movies, this one didn’t screen for critics because
it’s terrible and deep down he knows it forget them h8terz, so it’s hard to grasp what this movie is even about until more reviews trickle in. Judging from the trailer, I assume it will involve a family dinner gone awry when the successful young adults at the table literally but heads with a lumbering, nightmarish drag queen. Look, say what you will about Perry’s films being nothing more than lazy, offensive slapstick shoe-horned into an overwrought dramatic narrative, but you gotta admit that they suck.
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