With RED earning $199 million worldwide and RED 2 already bumped up for an earlier release this summer, it comes with very little surprise that Summit Entertainment and Lionsgate already gave the green light to writers Jon and Erich Hoeber to start work on a third installment. Due out on July 19, RED 2 already has some people* calling it the surefire best sequel of the year, while others** already believe that just by greenlighting a third film, this will become the greatest trilogy in movie history.

The first RED film featured a comedic take on the original, much more serious comic series, written by Warren Ellis, and starred Bruce Willis as the over-the-hill CIA operative fighting back against a younger agent misguidedly trying to assassinate him and his former associates (Helen Mirren, John Malkovich, Morgan Freeman, among others). In the sequel, Willis and Co. team up with Anthony Hopkins and Catherine Zeta-Jones to track down a nuke in the heart of Mother Russia.

And while I don’t know what the Hoeber brothers have planned for a third, I’d like to offer my own idea.

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Well, the resale value on this spaceship is absolutely f*cked.

Opening Everywhere: Star Trek Into Darkness

Maybe Opening Somewhere: Erased, The English Teacher

FilmDrunk Suggests: I expect Star Trek to be great, and a lot of my dorkier friends who don’t mind being jammed into crowded theaters at midnight told me that it was just that. I just figure that as people are still bitching and moaning about Iron Man 3 that this will be the next to be nitpicked to death. Oh the irony of imperfect people demanding perfection from films. They can’t all be RED.

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I just got off the phone with UFC legend and jiu-jitsu icon Royce Gracie and I’m just in the mood to run around and start street fights now, so let’s get right into this week’s DVDs and streaming choices.

Available for your private viewing enjoyment this week:

Cloud Atlas
Texas Chainsaw 3D
Back to 1942
Glimpse Inside the Mind of Charles Swan III
Liz & Dick
3, 2, 1… Frankie Go Boom
Tomorrow You’re Gone

Streaming: And I have a list of movies that I’ll be watching to resume Netflix Instant Theater next week, so I think I’ll start with John Dies in the End, so watch that for preparation.

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“Clear your mind… and then name how many movies have already done this.”

Opening Everywhere: Peeples, The Great Gatsby

Opening Somewhere, Maybe: Aftershock

Opening Probably Nowhere: Assault on Wall Street

FilmDrunk Suggests: Head down to your local library and check out some old Choose Your Own Adventure books. And then read them while you listen to Jay-Z and the Black Eyed Peas.

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The fun thing about selecting the subject of each installment of Florida Friday is that just as I’m about to start writing about one story, another story comes along and blows that out of the water. For example, there was the delightful woman who extended her well-wishes to Joakim Noah at the Miami Heat game the other night, as it was discovered that she was once accused by an Internet psychic of murdering her husband with a cocktail of cocaine and Ambien, among many other wonderful things, and then there was also a Central Florida restaurant that came under attack for serving tacos made from lion meat.

But I decided it would be more fun to both marry that woman and have lion tacos with her, so once I’ve accomplished that, I will have a follow-up post. In the meantime, let me introduce you to the subject of this week’s Florida Friday – 20-year old Brian Zuniga, who was pulled over at a traffic stop yesterday morning after cops spotted him swerving. Naturally, because it’s Florida, he ditched his car and ran. Then, because it’s Florida, he was attacked by an alligator.

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