"And I was like, Qaplah! Start the BTK van and let's go see the Atari Triology!"

Back in 2008, the book “The Stanley Kubrick Archives” was released as a huge collection of the late director’s interviews, notes and thoughts on his films, as well as interviews with the people who worked with him over the years. One of the more amusing revelations came via Kubrick’s personal assistant, Tony Frewin, who provided a list of his and Kubrick’s “Titles in Search of a Script.”

Basically, they thought up funny movie titles and kept track of them for their amusement, as well as a mockery of Hollywood itself, and obviously that’s something that we should all be able to appreciate. Frewin revealed the entire list with commentary (via Lists of Note):

I MARRIED AN ARMENIAN
(Said matter-of-factly to us by a woman publicist. Stanley thought it a great title for a 1940s-style Warner Bros. musical.)

IF ONLY THE FÜHRER KNEW!
(This was a common saying in Germany in the 1930s whenever something went wrong or somebody did something wrong. Used mockingly with the eyes looking upwards.)

HOT SHEETS
LEG CANDY
LEG MAGIC
FEEL TIGHT
PARTITION MAGIC
(Five vehicles for Sharon Stone. Partition Magic was the name of a software package in the days of DOS that almost allowed you to run two programs concurrently.)

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I mean, they could have been twin sisters.

As soon as she’s done with her probation and community service in March, America’s freckled, chain-smoking sweetheart, Lindsay Lohan, is going to be free to resume doing that thing she used to do… sh*t, what was it called again? When she was in those things with the other people and they said stuff and someone yelled, “Cut!” Oh yeah, work!

First up, Lohan will host Saturday Night Live, because what better way for the show to remain consistent coming off one of the funniest episodes in years than by handing hosting duties over to a girl whose greatest contribution to comedy has been her driving record? After that, though, she’ll get serious once again as Elizabeth Taylor in the Lifetime movie, Liz & Dick.

How serious? TMZ is all like, “Mad serious, haterz!”

Lindsay is telling friends, she’s taking her new gig extremely seriously — “obsessing over getting the part right” for the film.

According to sources, Lindsay is doing nothing but watching old Liz Taylor movies to help her recreate the Hollywood icon’s posture, speech, and every other little detail.

We’re told Lindsay has also been watching old Liz interviews online and reading a bunch of Liz biographies.

I wish that for consistency Dina Lohan would actually change her name to Sources. “Sources Lohan, line one!” they’d yell as she calls in to let reporters know that it wasn’t Lindsay driving the getaway car from that jewelry store.

Later this year, Lohan is also starring alongside Rob Schneider and… Adrien Brody? Yikes. They’re starring in the film InAPPropriate Comedy, which is supposedly a sketch comedy collection along the lines of Underground Comedy. Either way, seriously Adrien? At least the razor commercials make it seem like you’re still a star.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR CARBON EMISSIONS!!!

Opening Everywhere or Somewhere: Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, The Secret World of Arietty, This Means War, Bullhead

FilmDrunk Suggests: Vince really liked Bullhead, in case you haven’t read his review, so if it’s available near you, go check that out and tell people that you saw it because you read Vince’s review. Otherwise, I really liked Safe House, because it was a lot of fun watching Ryan Reynolds get his ass kicked. It was like Van Wilder: The Rise of Bourne.

Also, if you’re hanging out in the San Fran area, make sure you swing on by Vince’s screening of The FP. Check out event details here on the ol’ Facebook, and tell them Burnsy sent ya. They’ll ask, “Who?” but they know. Those kidders, they know.

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Fun fact: C-Tates loves comic sans.

I’ve regularly joked that Channing Tatum is the hardest workin’, twerkin’, lay it down, flip it and reversin’ it man in $how BiZZZnassssty, but it’s hard to deny that the guy has busted his ass to rise up from the ashes of Virginia Slims on the floor of The Sausage Factory to certified B-list status. With The Vow owning the box office this past weekend and 21 Jump Street more than likely set to do the same, Tatum is going to be around for a while, whether you feel it or not.

But the man who starred in five films in 2011 and will have released four more by the year’s end wants to do things a little differently moving forward. He wants to actually let his fans choose his new projects through social media accounts. Oh please, please, PLEASE let there be an “Other” option for me to recommend ideas.

“Studios — rightfully so because that’s the system — try to manipulate [people] into wanting something they might not want,” he said. “I don’t think that’s the right way to go about it. I want to straight up ask them: Should I make a comedy? An action movie? A love story?”

But as much as he values how social media fosters a conversation with fans, Tatum acknowledged that more operational details elude him. The actor said he “is not a computer person” and, like many other stars, pays someone to manage his Twitter and Facebook accounts. (Via the LA Times)

In case you missed it, The Vow had some hilarious Facebook marketing that featured Tatum giving Valentine’s Day love in videos that you could send to people. I sent one to Vince, but he didn’t respond. :(

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The 109th American International Toy Fair took place this past weekend in New York City, and among the offerings were new action figures related to the upcoming films G.I. Joe: Retaliation, Battleship and The Avengers. Better luck next year, The Descendents Nerf rocket launcher.

On hand to debut their toys were some of the stars of the movies mentioned, including Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Alexander Skårsgard and Chris Evans. But for the toymakers that didn’t have the luxury of B-list actors hamming it up for the cameras, choosing the toys to bank their futures on is all about what your Cheetos-inhaling brats are into from one minute to the next.

“Toymakers continue to innovate at the speed of light to keep up with trends in other areas – from pop culture to technology – because they know that kids want to be a part of the mix and mimic what’s happening in the world around them,” said Adrienne Appell, TIA’s in-house trend expert. “The toy industry draws upon economic and birth rate data to determine price points and product lines, which accounts for the prevalence this year of big-ticket items and toys for infants and pre-school children.” (Via Market Watch)

That’s dead on. In fact, over the weekend I visited my two-year old niece and purchased her the Kim Kardashian Play-Doh Ass Factory. It’s a far cry from my Pogo Ball.

Not much has changed, though, when it comes to the action figure, which is why these stars were so excited to check out their likeness in a 6-inch figurine, or as it’s referred to in the biz, a Tom Cruise.

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