I’ve been a Sacha Baron Cohen fan since, like way before you had even heard of him (*thumbs nose, rides off on fixie, gets scarf caught in spokes, falls and breaks Macbook*), but even I have to admit that from what we’ve seen so far, The Dictator is not his best work. I’ll wait until we see the actual movie, but half-assed jokes about the Kardashians don’t inspire confidence. Now he wants to attend the Oscars as his new character. Which isn’t the same as him screwing with real people who aren’t in on the joke, but is still probably better than Channing Tatum reading kind words about Judy Dench on a teleprompter.

Sources tell The Hollywood Reporter that the actor wants to attend the Academy Awards on Feb. 26 as his character in The Dictator, his latest raunchy comedy set for release by Paramount on May 11. The question is whether the Academy will veto Cohen’s attempt to add a touch of crass spectacle to the regal affair.
Sources say Cohen, who was invited to attend the Oscars as part of the cast of best picture nominee Hugo, has informed Paramount — the studio behind both Hugo and Dictator — of his wishes. Paramount and the Academy declined comment, but an AMPAS source says the show’s producers have not been informed of any Cohen plans.
The 40-year-old British actor, who rose to fame as the creator and star of HBO’s Da Ali G Show, has a history of using awards shows and other big events to hype his movies. To help launch his mockumentary Borat in 2006, Cohen arrived at the Toronto International Film Festival dressed up as his TV journalist alter ego, riding a wagon pulled by “Kazakhstani peasant women.” At the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards, he came as gay fashionista Bruno (to promote Bruno) and was later suspended over the crowd and lowered atop Eminem, who promptly stormed out (it was later revealed the rapper was in on the joke). [THR]

Since when do you have to ask permission for the outfit you’re going to wear? Just do it, man, you’re not going to court. It made more sense to show up in character when he was promoting a documentary-style film. This is just a regular film, so basically he’d just be method acting. And I doubt it will be seem very impressive next to Daniel Day-Lewis fashioning a dugout canoe from an old tree, or Andy Serkis sniffing his own butt and falling off logs.

Not sure about those other two, but I thought Retard Pig made some salient points

Oliver Stone has long been one of those self-described liberals who’s such an A-hole blowhard that he does a better job turning people off liberalism than the Hannities of the world ever could. Recently his son Sean, who’s filming a documentary about Iran, went on Bill O’Reilly to discuss his Valentine’s Day conversion to Islam and to say Mahmoud Ahmadinejad isn’t such a bad guy. Basically, it fit into the “Hollywood is a liberal propaganda machine” narrative so perfectly that Kirk Cameron celebrated with three Subway sandwiches (NONE FOR YOU, BELINDA!).

“Your association with Iran is interesting, since that country is an enemy to America,” O’Reilly says, as Stone smiles as if he expects to be grilled on the topic.
“Every time I had these conversations, I was very clear in saying, ‘you know, let’s stop with this down-with-America nonsense,’” Stone answers. “It really helped for the American image, frankly, by my being there.”
“You can be seen as somebody who’s being used, because, you know, you come from a family that’s very well known,” O’Reilly tells Stone.
“That could be,” Stone says. “I mean, with Ahmadinejad, he’s a little bit misunderstood because there are many factions in that country and he said some sensational things.”
“Look, look,” O’Reilly interrupts. “The one thing he said that’s undeniable was, he said that the Holocaust never happened. And once you get into that kind of fringe, lunatic assessment — all right — your father’s Jewish, I mean, come on.”
Stone, though, says Ahmadinejad’s denial of the Holocaust is also misunderstood. The Iranian president doesn’t mean the Holocaust didn’t happen, he means that it’s irrelevant to present-day politics, according to Stone.
“Why should it influence Israeli policy in regards to the Palestinians, in regards to the Middle East? That’s always been his point on that matter,” Stone says. “There’s no room for Holocaust denial, of course, I would never agree with that. But I just think that it’s simplistic to say that he’s a fanatic.”
O’Reilly asks: “You okay with Iran having a nuclear weapon?”
“I am, because it’s a Republic and there are factions. And it’s very much like this country. There’s a lot of unrest.”
Stone also predicted that an Occupy Tehran movement akin to Occupy Wall Street is on its way, and he suggested that President Jimmy Carter be enlisted to help solve problems in the Middle East, a thought that made O’Reilly chuckle. [THR]

So basically, O’Reilly painted Stone with the usual, mostly-meaningless conservative scare-words brush – “holocaust denier!” “enemy of ‘murica!” – and Stone responded by saying Ahmadinejad is misunderstood and that Iran needs an Occupy movement. MUST. REMOVE. PALM. FROM FACE. Hey, dummy. Aren’t you making a documentary about Iran? They already had an Occupy movement. It was in 2009, and it wasn’t called “occupy”, because it actually had specific criticisms and aims. It sort of fizzled out around the time the government there started shooting everyone in the face. Christ. I wish both these asswipes would give up breathing for Lent. I want to take the “America is always right crowd,” mix them with the “America is always wrong” crowd, puree them into a fine paste, and fire them into the sun while I hum the Battle Hymn of the Republic and jack off to European erotica.

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This Pee Wee Herman porn parody (“Pee Wee’s XXX Adventure: A Porn Parody”) from Vivid seemed weird and creepy even BEFORE Evan Stone showed up, providing his usual 1200% of the recommended daily allowance of douche chills. The man is porn’s Cam Gigandet. I don’t think an actual girl shows up until a minute twenty. Still, I was impressed by the synopsis:

Pee Wee loves Dolly more than anything else in the world. The only thing is, she’s not human. She’s a doll. But Pee Wee doesn’t want to admit it. To him — and only him — he’s as real as the bowtie around his neck, much to the chagrin of Lizzy, a sex worker with a heart of gold who longs for Pee-Wee as much as Pee-Wee lusts for Dolly. When Dolly is stolen by a mysterious bandit, Pee Wee moves heaven and earth to find her, going on a wild, madcap adventure putting him face to face with ghost truckers, gangbanging bikers, his arch-nemesis Franklin and a porno director named Chorkle.

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via Reddit

MORNING LINKS
In Case You Ever Wanted To See Robert Downey Jr. As A Pinup Girl |UPROXX|

‘Community’ Hiatus Might Have Actually Improved Its Chances at Renewal|Warming Glow|

And The Emmy For The Most Terrifying Sex Swing Moment Goes To…|With Leather|

Our 30 Favorite Pictures From This Year’s Mardi Gras Chewbacchanal |Gamma Squad|

Man Repeatedly Pepper-Sprayed At Disneyland During Fight|Buzzfeed|

Turns out Megan Fox still looks pretty good in a bikini. |TheSuperficial|

Christina Hendricks got bullied in school. Just probably just too pretty and huge breasted, that can be hard. |Videogum|

Cartoon via hugleikurdagsson.

Play the Oscars trivia game. |ModernMan|

10 things you didn’t know about the president’s secret army. |MentalFloss|

Blindfolded boxing, 1949′s hottest new sport. |GorillaMask|

How they made the greatest Simpsons episode of all-time, “Homer At The Bat”|FARK|

Finland’s First Husband gets caught checking out the Princess of Denmark’s titties. Hey, it happens. |TheDailyWhat|

Bryan Cranston’s Travis Bickle Haircut Will Give You Meth Shakes|Pajiba|

Four Unintended Lessons Behind “Gritty” Fairytale Reboots|Unreality|

What Do You Think of Nike’s Team USA Basketball Uniforms for 2012 London Olympics?|Brobible|

5 space operas any Star Wars fan will enjoy. |ScreenJunkies|

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Michael Fassbender knows what you're about to do, and he does not approve

Before I saw Shame, I used to call Michael Fassbender “Michael F. Assbender.” But now that I know the kind of meat he’s packing, I think “Michael & The Fasspenis” might be more accurate – like an indie band, or a Russian opera. Anyway, Toldja.com is reporting that  M & The FP have signed on for The Counselor, the original screenplay by Cormac McCarthy. It was rumored earlier that Ridley Scott would make The Counselor his next movie after Prometheus, which opens in June, but one should always take Ridley Scott rumors with a grain of salt, because Ridley Scott has even more talk and less follow through than your average coked-up Hollywood type. Well now, according to Deadline, The Counselor has “landed” Michael Fassbender and is “eyeing” a May 1st start date. I use sarcastiquotes because who the hell knows what those words even mean in this context.

Scott has landed one of the hottest actors in Hollywood, is eyeing a May 1 start date, and talking to a number of high-profile actors to take part in a film that insiders are describing as “No Country For Old Men on steroids.”

The protagonist is a respected lawyer who thinks he can dip a toe in to the drug business without getting sucked down. It is a bad decision and he tries his best to survive it and get out of a desperate situation.

Now, Scott has to get his bad guy. Last time there was a villain like this conjured up by McCarthy, Javier Bardem played him and won an Oscar in No Country For Old Men. I’m hearing names like Jeremy Renner, Bradley Cooper and even some unexpected candidates like Brad Pitt, whose career launched in Scott’s Thelma & Louise.

The film isn’t set at a studio and it is unclear when it will be. [yes, it seems like this part is pretty important] -via Deadline/Toldja.com

I love Cormac McCarthy’s work, but I don’t know how excited to be about this until Prometheus comes out and we get to see whether it’s good enough to wash the taste of the colossal clusterf*ck that was Robin Hood out of our mouths (what does colossal clusterf*ck taste like? You don’t want to know, bros.). Was it an unfortunate misfire or a symptom of Ridley Scott’s gradual descent into madness? Hard to say, though he has seemed a bit megalomaniacal lately. All I know is that with Michael Fassbender involved, “No Country for Old Men on steroids” doesn’t sound like a great description. How about “No Country for Old Men on penis-enlargement pills.” Look at him, he looks like the “after” scene from an Enzyte commercial:

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