Jesus, how long has Dan Aykroyd been talking about Ghostbusters 3 now? Five years? Six? The whole thing has been on hold all this time waiting for Bill Murray to sign off on it, which he has to do for the project to move forward. There were earlier script drafts in which Murray played a big part, but it’s unclear if he ever read them. That doesn’t seem to be the case now, but far as I know, the project is still in the same holding pattern. But that hasn’t stopped Dan Aykroyd from talking about it like it’s a done deal. In April, he told the press that it “could” start shooting in early 2014, but it’s hard to know whether to believe him, because he’s been talking about it like it’s just around the corner for half a decade now, and he might be legitimately crazy.

All that said, Aykroyd was on Larry King Live this week, and if you’re willing to try to kick the football he’s happy to hold it for you.

“It’s based on new research that’s being done in particle physics by the young men and women at Columbia University,” he tells King. “…Basically, there’s research being done that I can say that the world or the dimension that we live in, our four planes of existence, length, height, width and time, become threatened by some of the research that’s being done. Ghostbusters — new Ghostbusters — have to come and solve the problem.”

Unfortunately, it’s looking quite likely that Bill Murray will not reprise his role as Peter Venkman in any way, shape or form, although Aykroyd is still optimistic for a last-minute change of heart.

“There will be a hole for him,” Aykroyd says of his friend and co-star. “If Billy wants to walk in the door and be in the movie, we will find a place.” [transcript via ComingSoon]

Oh boy, talking about an unfinished script, with an uncast cast. Lots of “ifs” and “whens” in there too. Aykroyd also talked about Behind the Candelabra, which he’s in, and said that he’s seen four UFOs. Honestly, I think Dan Aykroyd just likes having someone to talk to. I just worry that he’s going to end up in a straitjacket somewhere, muttering to his crystal skull, Wilson about the great Ghostbusters cast they’re assembling.

“Oh, don’t fret, Wilson, come here, let me drink those negative thoughts away.”

The “issue” of Alice Eve’s gratuitous T & A in Star Trek is a complicated one for me, because on the one hand, I’d really like to see better developed female characters in movies (better developed characters in general, really), but on the other, I quite enjoy seeing Alice Eve in her panties. It’s also hard to draw a line between not “exploiting” while simultaneously wanting people to lighten up about skin in general and accept the fact that deep down we’re just dumb animals that are engineered to want to rub genitals with each other, and part of that process is naturally objectifying. Is it really so much more enlightened to want to screw someone because they like the same crap as you and dress cool than it is because they have a hot bod? I’m not totally convinced. We all objectify each other a thousand times a day, just try to be polite about it.

Anyway, Damon Lindelof has, perhaps rightly, has been getting a lot of crap for Alice Eve’s character (though I’m not sure why the backlash has been so focused on Lindelof when there were two other writers and a director), a character who didn’t seem to have much to do besides strip down to her undies on a flimsy justification. (“Cor bloimey, guvna, oy rickin me shirt’s going to interfeah wiv da warp droives or somefin!”). Also, how is she British when her dad’s American? DASS RAYCESS. I digress, but it probably would’ve been more okay if her character had had more to do. I mean, we like to see Alice Eve in her underwear the same way we like to see spaceships explode and Chris Pine’s dreamy blue eyes, and half of the movie is a wish-fulfillment fantasy, but at least those are desires we try to justify in the story. As it was, it seemed like she was only there to take her shirt off. Which understandably makes people angry, because it makes it seems like that’s the only role women can play. That is a totally justified criticism. For the record, Damon Lindelof has conceded the point.

Via his Twitter:

- I copped to the fact that we should have done a better job of not being gratuitous in our representation of a barely clothed actress.
- We also had Kirk shirtless in underpants in both movies. Do not want to make light of something that some construe as mysogenistic.
- What I’m saying is I hear you, I take responsibility and will be more mindful in the future.
- Also, I need to learn how to spell “misogynistic.”

Good for Lindelof for admitting “okay, my bad,” instead of just ignoring it or changing the subject. (Orci was probably too busy ranting about false flags and building seven to comment).

Me, I’m just glad this whole sexism thing is finally behind us. (*cracks beer, puts hand down pants*)

Most of us expected Will Smith and his dumb wiener kid promoting their new M. Night Shyamalan movie to be about the most insufferable thing ever, and the Smith gang, as usual, doesn’t disappoint when it comes to milquetoast dildodry. First, dad Will dropped by Letterman last night, and made sure everyone knows he still enjoys rap.

Witness, for example, Smith’s big Late Show entrance last night, which the CBS Orchestra thoughtfully underscored with the strains of “Summertime.” Once he recognized they were playing his song, the movie star couldn’t resist rapping along. And after he noticed that his mic wasn’t capturing his rhymes, Smith also couldn’t resist stealing one of the band’s microphones and starting his verse over from the beginning. [EW]

Jesus, just give him his own variety show already, where he can sing, act, dance, and give wise parenting advice in between mugging for the camera and talking about how thankful he is. Meanwhile, at an After Earth press junket, Smith made sure to drop a juicy nugget about possibly working with Kanye:

“I been, uh, messing around with Kanye, we’ve been in the studio together a couple times. I might get the bug. I’m not gonna do it unless I’m truly inspired. But.. yeah, he’s been pushing me a little bit.”

Will Smith and Kanye in the same room, my God, you could power Cowboys Stadium for a month if you built a turbine to catch that much compressed blowhard air.

Ahh, but it wouldn’t be a Smith press tour without his dumb wiener kids being foisted upon us at every opportunity, and for that, Jaden was on Jimmy Fallon, where the 14-year-old talked told us all about his clothing line, his mixtape… you know, regular kid stuff.

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When they came for the stem cells I applauded. When they turned a spandex-wearing British thespian into an ape I laughed. When they put a supercomputer in my cell phone I said nothing. But today, science has gone too far. TOO FAR! Thanks to some pioneering work in the art of creating digitized f*cktaurs, actors can now appear in a Lars Von Trier art film about hardcore sex without even having the hardcore sex. I for one think it’s unnatural. (*grabs pitchfork and dildo*)

Lars Von Trier’s Nymphomaniac, starring Charlotte Gainsbourg, Stellan Skarsgard, Shia Labeouf, and Uma Thurman, is about “one woman’s erotic adventures from youth to age 50,” and basically sounds like a real-life version of the fictional Rochelle Rochelle from Seinfeld. Earlier this year, LaBeouf told MTV that he’d be having “sex for real” in the movie, a part he reportedly earned by sending Von Trier tapes of himself having sex with his girlfriend, because actors are totally stable. But now, according to a Nymphomaniac producer, it won’t be the movie stars having sex in the film, just their torsos, digitally grafted to the genitals of body doubles who’ll be doing the actual dongs-going-in bits.

Nymphomaniac producer Louise Vesth provided a sneak peek into what we can expect. Vesth confirmed that the doubled-barreled feature will include graphic sex scenes between the members of the all-star cast, including Charlotte Gainsbourg, Stellan Skarsgard, Shia LaBeouf and Uma Thurman.

For the truly hard-core elements of the film, von Trier used body doubles for the stars. But, Vesth revealed, the Danish director will use digital technology to combine the actors’ non-explicit displays with the pornographic performance of the doubles.

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Is there going to be a superhero movie where the hero DOESN’T start out all beardy and disheveled at the beginning of the trailer? If so, it won’t be Wolverine in The Wolverine, who’s already kind of beardy and disheveled to begin with, but still manages to start this new trailer EVEN MORE BEARDY AND DISHEVELEDER. GET A JOB, WOLVERINE! THE BUMS LOST!

“Go away, I have at least 15 more minutes of pretending not to be interested in fighting.”

You wonder if they do that in superhero movies hoping that it’ll somehow even out when the guy has to run around in tights later. But not Wolverine, he doesn’t do gay stuff like spandex tights. He wears leather and rides a motorcycle and chomps a big penis-shaped cigar because he’s super tough. GRRR, FOOTBALL!

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