James Franco Dicknosed His Own Birthday Cake

James Franco famously used a Gucci sponsorship to film himself walking around Paris with a dick strapped to his nose for a piece entitled Dicknose in Paris, so why shouldn’t he get a birthday cake with vibrators and ball gags and anal beads on it? Frankly, unless that red frosting was made from Marina Abramovic’s uterine sloughings and presented on a platter by some naked gangster chicks and Harmony Korine, it seems a little pedestrian for James Franco. (RIP, Brad Renfro)

Miami-area bakery Caked By Two created the confection for Franco, his Interior. Leather Bar co-director Travis Mathews, filmmaker John Cameron Mitchell, and friend Cassandra Simon, as a nod to Franco and Matthews’ film reimagining the gay and S&M scenes from Cruising, as well as a nod to the many ongoing gay and S&M scenes that have comprised Franco’s 35 years on Earth [AV Club]

When I look at the ball gag up there, I can’t help but think but think Goatse would’ve looked even better. Get on it, Michelle Doll Cakes. Also, just as an experiment, I’d love to see what would happen if we swapped James Franco’s Dildo Cake for Kirk Cameron’s Birthday Sandwich. Think of the ensuing hijinks!

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