A member of SEAL Team Six discovers that bin Laden’s pubes were left everywhere in that house.
It’s a big week for DVD releases as a bunch of the holiday season heavy hitters are now available for your home viewing pleasure. Today sees the release of both The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey as well as Zero Dark Thirty, and in a few days both Les Misérables and This Is 40 come out as well. But wait, there’s more: We’ve also got movies starring Lizzy Caplan, Luke Wilson, Parker Posey, and Haley Joel Osment. We’ve got bachelorettes and shadow people, and also legless whale trainers and kickboxers. We’ve even got rust and bone. All that and some cartoon lesbians as well!
The DVDs:
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
Zero Dark Thirty
Les Misérables
This Is 40
Bachelorette
Straight A’s
Price Check
Sassy Pants
Rust And Bone
The Girl
The Other Son
Hellgate
Shadow People
Adventures In Appletown
23 Minutes To Sunrise
Strange Frame
Streaming: check out your choices here.
I know you’re intrigued by the legless whale trainer, so continue reading to find out which movie has her. You might as well; you’re already going to in search of those cartoon lesbians. On the other hand, if you insist that you only see movies with real, live, two-legged straight women, you can always just click the link for the streaming picks, but to be honest, most of the DVDs have straight, legged (and straight-legged) women in them as well, so it would still be your loss.
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I totally forgot that Crash won the oscar for best picture, and that it even existed. I’m sure the rest of the world did, too.
That is because your mind tries to expel shit.
The space lesbians remind me of those weird early computer animation VHS tapes that were a bunch of shorts strung together with music. And it was always this trippy, tacky, brightly-colored stuff that looked like bargin bin early ’90s artwork come to life.
The Mind’s Eye!
Just a reminder that Crash is a giant steaming pile of shit. The movie that made me lose any respect for the Oscars.
Vince’s subtitle for The Hobbit, “A Bunch of Dwarves Walk One Third of the Way to a Mountain,” is one of the best things I’ve ever read on this site.
Anna Gunn from ‘Breaking Bad’ is in ‘Sassy Pants’, but is that also the kitchen and house that the White’s live in from ‘Breaking Bad’?
Straight A’s Ryan Phillippe co-stars in this Best Picture Oscar Winner from 2004…
So when I saw the title for Straight A’s I said “nope, not watching anything with an apostrophe to pluralize the letter A.” Then this sentence comes along and gives me a giant validation boner.
Fixed, just to deflate your erection.
Nuh uh. That tumescence came from realizing that your edit was what needed to be done to make the possessive form of that godawful title, not from the fact that you hadn’t done it. If anything, I’m now at risk of priapism. Thanks a lot, dude.
Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve been accused of causing priapism.
Also I can’t decide if I’d still want to do it with Marion Cotillard if she were legless. I’m lying. I can decide. And it’s easy to, even.
Morton, check out ‘Bachelorette’. It’s really funny, and Lizzy Caplan is fantastic in it.
This Is 40 sucked. There is no real plot to speak of. It’s just a month or so in the life of these people. You are supposed to feel for them for having money troubles, although they live in a fantastic house in a very expensive area, drive nice cars, have all sorts of expensive shit and each own their own business. All the while supporting another 3rd party. They go from sort-of hating each other, back to being madly in love, without any special reason.
I fully believe Apatow made the entire movie, so that his eldest daughter could cuss at her mom. That was the only explanation for any of it.
Last night I was lying in bed thinking about how lame it is that MGM/Jackson stretched The Hobbit into three goddamned movies.
At MOST, it should have been two, 2-hour long movies. Ideally, it just should have been a single 3-hour long movie.
Yet, somehow this really long and redundant movie made $1 billion at the box office. Which is extra infuriating because what’s good in it is really, really good. There’s just way to fucking much of it, stretched to absurd lengths. And almost all what is bad in it comes from where they’re stretching it or where Jackson is inserting his own weird imagination/story insertions. If they had stuck to Tolkien and kept it moving, it would work beautifully. Rankin-Bass did a nice job of it in a TV cartoon in 90 minutes back in the ’70s.
It’s aggravating because it’s just such a brazen cash hunt, to the great detriment of the story, when they could have had both a solid cash return as well as a really great, compact film or pair of films. It’s just very cynical.
They are just trying to keep New Zealand employed for as long as possible. Don’t you remember all the rioting that happened in the UK after they ran out of Harry Potter movies?
Oh Jesus that’s right. The Bristol Broom riots where angry mobs of unemployed make up artists and set builders, wearing Quidditch scarves ransacked the House of Commons and burned down Gringots. That was a bloodbath.
Many an avra kedavra was cast that glum day.
I saw ” rust and bone” and for a second I thought it said “rusty trombone”. Nope. :(
Is it just me or does one of the space lesbians look like Barbara Streisand spent three weeks in Jamaica?
The cover art for Strange Fame looks like a cover to one those badly written, self-published, overprice “original” (fan)fiction e-books that my friend is always buying off of Amazon. One appears to be growing feathers out of her scalp and the other one…..I don’t even know. Also Palestinian women are confronted with foreskin about as much as Jewish women.
Saw a screening of “Shadow People” and it’s The Fourth Kind this time with, uh, Shadow People” – the cockholster director was there lying in the Q&A how stuff in was legit.
As you were.