Red Dawn: Because nothing says entertainment like disgruntled emo kids with guns!
That’s right, the awful and awfully unnecessary Red Dawn remake is out on DVD today, but it isn’t alone. We’ve also got flicks with Jessica Biel, Rebecca Hall, Eva Longoria, Aubrey Plaza, and two films with Catherine Zeta-Jones. We’ve even got some famous dudes like Bruce Willis and Gerard Butler, if that’s how your ship sails. We’ve got killer fish and killer water, a chatty hitman and a midnight stallion. There’s a marine, a quadriplegic, Satan’s angel, and even some cannibals!
The DVDs:
Red Dawn
Wreck-It Ralph
Playing For Keeps
Lay The Favorite
The Bay
A Dark Truth
The Intouchables
Someday This Pain Will Be Useful To You
California Solo
Interview With A Hitman
Gun Hill Road
Midnight Stallion
The Marine 3: Homefront
Satan’s Angel: Queen Of The Fire Tassels
Elfie Hopkins: Cannibal Hunter
House Hunting
Streaming: Check out your choices here.
Does the name ‘DJ Mom Jeans’ mean anything to you? It will, but only if you continue reading. Curious about the fire tassels? That’s understandable. Continue reading to sneak a peek at ‘em. Of course you can always just click the link above and skip right to the streaming suggestions, but if you do you’ll never know which film sold more tickets to German audiences than any other movie in 2012, and how can you live without that information?
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The Intouchables? I am so sick of all these unnecessary remakes!!! And why make Elliot Ness handicapped?? WHAT DOES THAT ADD???
The Iraqi remake of Red Dawn totally missed the mark as well. In addition to bad special effects, the Iranians were clearly just Yemeni workers.
You know, I don’t think Danny Masterson is actually in any of those movies on the last page. It’s this complex 3-way scam whereby he gets paid a salary but never shows up, then kicks back half the money to the producers, plus Masterson gets screen credits on IMDB to show the clerk at the unemployment office that he is too a “for-real actor,” and doesn’t have to take that stock-boy job at the supermarket that she keeps pushing on him.
I read the synopsis for Made for Each Other, and Chris Masterson’s character is named Dan, which is his brother’s name. That must be confusing, especially if they’re both one the set.
But then again, those guys are responsible for Laura Prepon becoming a Scientologist, and probably for her going blonde.
So fuck them.
She recently showed her titties, though.
When?
And where??
Laura Prepon > Emma Stone imo
lay the favorite…which is also mentioned in this post. convenient.
The Marine Trilogy had better come out on Blu Ray, and have a “Making of” featurette and Mythology of the Marine special features or I ain’t dubbing it from the library.
Is it too much to ask of WWE Entertainment for a sequel to Stone Colds “The Condemed”?
I initially read the last bit of the intro as “and even some cannibis!” REALLY disappointed when I realized my error. Gonna go do a bong hit now…
I like the Premium Account on the Dove Foundation’s site. It tells you what characters might be Catholic so you can fast-forward accordingly.
I saw The Bay on VOD a few months ago. Not too bad. Kinda fucked up in some spots. The fact that I live near the Chesapeake Bay, which is where they find the diseased fish, kinda hit close to home for me.
I hope in the “Intouchables”, the old white man yells – “Vous êtes l’homme maintenant, chien!” and then Satan crashes through the ceiling and eats everyone’s faces off. /Fin
I’m going to pretend Midnight Stallion is a sequel to Tideland and then continue to not do anything to ruin that illusion.
Boat drinks, Debra Catface Unger, boat drinks.
Did Danny Masterson fuck your Mom? What did he ever do to you to make you so angry with him?
Do you think he would? She’s lonely these days…
scientology.
I heard he said some extremely mean things to Topher Grace on the set of That ’70s Show, and I have never forgiven him for that.
woah danny, relax. take a chill pill!
Dink & Tulip 4eva
What wrestler is in that new Halle Berry movie? It’s produced by WWE entertainment, you’d think that Kaine or the Junkyard Dog or Owen Hart or Jake the Snake Roberts or somebody would be the serial killer.
Wha… Owen Hart and Junkyard Dog have been dead, for a while. And its Kane*, not Kaine. I personally would think that a movie about Daniel Bryan going crazy and killing people because they call him Goatface would be pretty cool. As he’s sawing them in half they start yelling no which prompts him to yell, “Yes, yes, yes!”
Morton did you really get laid as much as you say or are you full of shit? I mean you said you got laid all four years of high school, I don’t even know anyone in my High School now who’s that lucky.
Mort what do you think of all the threats by NorthKorea nucking the US? Don’t listen to this guy, the movie rocks and it’s the most realistic movie ive ever seen in my young life. Like the old Charlton Heston type movies of the 50′s. It’s very surreal and scary in areal world sense, not at all like all the science fiction and super hero garbage weve been fed for so long! WOLVERINES!!!!!!!!
Go home, Chris Hemsworth, you’re drunk.
Superhero and sci fi movies kick ass. And no its not realistic because we could cripple those fuckers if we wanted too, and its inherently racist saying that all “Asians” (I know its not the correct term but for brevity’s sake I’m using it) look alike.
wOLVERINES!